In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast

A listener wrote in describing herself as a "well-scraped peanut butter jar" — nothing left to give sexually, and tired of trying. She'd had sex four days a week, spent evenings cuddling and massaging, and offered every kind of intimacy she could think of. Yet every week still brought sulking, silent treatment, and rejection tears. After two months of no sex, the pressure finally stopped — so she...

Difficulty orgasming isn’t always about you. At least, not in the way you might think. In this minisode of In Bed with Science, I’m talking about one of the less discussed reasons orgasm can become harder with a partner: when your orgasm starts to feel like proof that they’re good at sex. Orgasms aren’t gifts. And when your partner’s care, effort or disappointment becomes part of the experience, p...

AI is being turned to as a replacement for therapy. As a sex therapist who specialises in low libido, I wanted to know - can it actually help with something as nuanced as low sex drive in a marriage? So I put it to the test. I pretended to be a typical client of mine - a woman in a long-term relationship, struggling with low desire and shame around her turn-ons - and turned to both a trained menta...

We've all heard it before: "Men always want sex". They’re simple and always raring to go. As a sex therapist specialising in low libido and mismatched desire, I know the toll these kinds of myths can take on the individual and the relationship at large. In this minisode, I break down one of the most common myths about male sexuality — and how it contributes to low desire, performance pressure, and...

Low desire in women is often treated as a hormonal problem or a relationship one. But what if the problem isn’t low libido persay, but rather a lost connection to your body? In this episode, I talk to psychologist and leading sex researcher Dr. Lori Brotto about the science of mindfulness and why it’s become one of the most effective psychological treatments for low desire and arousal in women. We...

Sometimes low libido doesn’t look like avoiding sex. Sometimes it looks like having sex you didn’t really want in the first place. In this episode, I talk about something that’s far more common than most of us realise: saying yes to sex in a committed relationship even when you’re not really in the mood. It's about the kinds of moments where you agree because it feels easier than arguing, because...

For many neurodivergent people, sex becomes draining or disconnected over time, even when there’s desire and care underneath it all. Sex can start to feel like something you’re being evaluated on — rather than something you get to enjoy. In this episode, I talk with licensed counsellor Bowen Marshall about how ADHD, Autism, masking, and performance expectations affect our sex lives — and why so ma...

“We used to have such great sex" is one of the most common things I hear from clients as a sex therapist and coach. Along with this confession usually comes grief, shame, and worry that something important to them is lost forever. In this episode, I explore the science of sexual nostalgia: why remembering past sexual connection can sometimes help rekindle desire — and why, in other cases, it can a...

If you want sex to feel good again and not have to think about whether you're hard or softening, or whether you're going to have an orgasm soon — this episode gives you clear, usable tools to start moving in that direction. In part two of this series on sexual performance anxiety, I talk with health psychologist and clinical sexologist Dr Evie Kirana about how to deal with sexual performance anxie...

If you’ve ever felt your body shut down the moment sex begins (your arousal just disappears, or you become consumed with worries about your performance), this episode will help you understand why. In part one of this series, I talk with researcher Dr David Rowland about what sexual performance anxiety actually is, how it develops, and what’s happening in your brain and body when anxiety takes over...

A quick fix for low libido in women - sounds like a dream, right? Even for me as a sex therapist! In this episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Glen Spielmans about bremelanotide — a medication approved in the US for low sexual desire in women. On paper, it’s designed to target brain receptors linked to desire. But when you look closely at the trials, the story gets a lot more complicated. We get in...

If the idea of planning sex makes you panic, this episode is for you. And if you’re curious whether planning could help your sex life and relationship thrive - it’s for you too. We often hear that spontaneous sex is the “real” kind of sex — and that if you have to plan it, something must be wrong in your relationship. But is that actually true? In this episode, I unpack a new study on spontaneous...

Up to 40% of men experience low desire. But it's rarely talked about —in society or relationships. In this episode, I talk with researcher Grace Wang about what really happens when a male partner is dealing with low sexual desire—and how the way we manage (or suppress) difficult emotions can make or break sexual communication in a relationship. We unpack her study on emotion regulation and low sex...

This episode is a bit of a departure from the regular stuff! A personal update and a few important reminders about sex, desire, and overall well-being. Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here . Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link

How can you tell if a new partner shares your turn-ons — without making it awkward? In this episode, I answer a listener question about casual sex, power dynamics, and the kind of miscommunication that can happen when you don’t talk about your turn-ons out loud. We unpack a qualitative study on how people in BDSM communities use tech (like texting) to express desires, set boundaries, and build tru...

Sharing what turns you on with a partner can be scary. But it can also be hot, and emotionally rewarding. This episode dives into one of the most common but rarely spoken fears in long-term relationships: what will happen if I share what I fantasize about? We unpack a fascinating new study on why people do (and don’t) share their sexual fantasies with partners — and the surprising gap between what...

Do you ever feel like your sex drive is just… gone — and you don’t know why? In this interview episode, I talk with researcher Dr. Simone Buzwell about how relationship inequity negatively affects female sexual desire — and why fairness outside the bedroom might matter more than you think inside it. We unpack her study on desire, domestic labour, and gender roles — including why same-sex female co...

Is it normal for desire to fade in long-term relationships? Or can passion actually last? This episode breaks down a powerful study of over 38,000 people in long-term relationships to uncover what really keeps sex satisfying over time. Spoiler: it’s not just about frequency or trying something new — it’s about how couples connect . We explore the 7 key habits that set passionate couples apart — an...

Do you ever hesitate to initiate sex because you're afraid of being rejected — or feel guilty for turning your partner down? In this episode, I answer a listener question about how to navigate mismatched libidos and the pain of repeated rejection in a relationship. We unpack the science of sexual rejection, and how it can shape desire, emotional safety, and long-term connection — often in ways cou...

A lot of us feel the pressure to perform well in bed — whether that means lasting long or wanting sex "enough". In this episode, I talk to researcher Noémie Viens about how perfectionism can mess with your sex life. We explore why being hard on yourself (or feeling pressure from others) can lead to performance anxiety, shame, and disconnection — and how letting go of “perfect sex” can actually mak...

If you’ve ever thought, “If we were really right for each other, our sex life would just work”… this episode is for you. In Episode 1 of In Bed with Science: a Sex Podcast, I break down a fascinating study on growth vs. destiny beliefs in relationships — and how the way we think about sex shapes everything from satisfaction to resilience. You’ll learn: → Why expecting sex to be effortless can dama...

Interested in my services? Check them out here Join my 1:1 online program Re:Desire here . Do you want to submit a listener question for the podcast? Here's the link