IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

"Send Ben a text" Are You and/or Your Teen Emotionally Healthy? It's unfortunate that when most people refer to "Emotional Health", they are actually referring to the lack of emotional health.  I hear people saying things like, "They have some emotional health issues," or, "They are struggling with emotional health."  But, who actually knows what emotio...

"Send Ben a text" You Can't Stop Thinking! Because you are human, your brain is constantly at work, whether you are awake or asleep, whether you are concentrating or daydreaming, your brain is constantly thinking. The goal of coaching isn’t to turn off your brain or to even control your thoughts. The goal is to be able to be aware of your thoughts and to have the power to manage you...

"Send Ben a text" Do You Know What Your Values Are? If you are like most people, you have a pretty good idea of what your personal values are, but I'm guessing you don't really spend a lot of time thinking about it. Sometimes when I work with teens who think that they have no values.  Everyone has values, but most people don't take the time to identify them or really even...

"Send Ben a text" What If You Were The Perfect Parent? I asked this the other day in one of my Impact Parenting Group calls. This idea of "perfect" parenting kind of shook the zoom room.  There's so much shame around the word "perfect".  Most parents just believe that they aren't perfect and that they aren't good enough.  If you're like most parent...

"Send Ben a text" How To Make Parenting Simple! #1 Define Your Role!  One of the things that makes parenting harder that it needs to be is Not knowing your role! If you don't know what your role, or purpose, is as a parent, everything feels like a battle.  When you don't define your parenting role, you get tossed from one roll to the other.  It's hard to be intentional whe...

"Send Ben a text" Principles of Being a Relationship Hero #1 Be 100% Responsible for YOUR Relationship with Them  If you're like most people, you've blamed your relationship on the other person in the relationship.  "If my teen would . . . " "If they would start . . . " You are responsible for how you feel towards the other person in your relationship. Relat...

"Send Ben a text" Choose to Love! What a pleasure to interview Bonnie Lyman from Bonnie Lyman Coaching!  When I interview people, I like it to be natural and unscripted. So, to be completely transparent, I don't plan out my interviews, which makes it harder to make show notes.  So, if you want to get all of the amazing teachings that Bonnie shared, make sure that you listen to this...

"Send Ben a text" I LOVE Football! First, I want to say that I LOVE football!  It really helped me as a struggling teen, and even as an adult, football plays a beneficial part in my life.  Lessons I've Learned So Far that You Can Use with You and Your Teen! Feedback is important! This is the first year that I've coached with this set of coaches. One of the things that I've...

"Send Ben a text" Stress is Impacting EVERYONE These Days! This DOESN'T Have To Be A Bad Thing! What You and Your Teen Can Do! Here are a few things that you and your teen can try to help you gain some power and control over your stress and anxiety.  Gain some awareness when it comes to stress and anxiety.  Most people avoid feeling stress and anxiety, and because they avoid it, the...

"Send Ben a text" How to Be Intentional With Your Interpretations.  First , you have to be aware of what your interpretations are.  To do this, practice awareness throughout the day. When you notice an interpretation, identify and label it. "This is an interpretation." Thought downloads are also powerful tools to help you identify your interpretations. Any time you find yoursel...

"Send Ben a text" YOU Have the Power to BE the Change Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change.  They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves.  You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you cha...

"Send Ben a text" We Are Designed To Follow Patterns Our brain is designed to identify and create patterns. We do this in an effort to conserve energy, increase our chances of survival, and make life easier. This isn't a bad thing. So many of the things that we do are based on patterns that we've picked up. Many of these patterns help us be healthy, productive, and happy humans...

"Send Ben a text" What are Habitual Beliefs? Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you're like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you've thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously.  Most people believe their habitual thou...

"Send Ben a text" 100% Responsibility = Power We live in a world that often refuses to be responsible and to take responsibility.  As a result, it's common to blame others.  Lately, in my own life, I've been extra aware of the blaming that takes place around me, especially when I'm guilty of doing the blaming.  I've noticed two things over and over, . . .  #1 Blaming...

"Send Ben a text" What are Values?  Values are your beliefs about what is and is not important. Values are our principles, standards, and priorities.  Values are deep-seated beliefs and ways of thinking that motivate and drive our actions.  Your values live in your subconscious thoughts. Usually, you don't even know about them, but they still impact your actions and behaviors, such...

"Send Ben a text" When you judge your teens, you disconnect with them.  “When I pull back and look at the big picture, does it matter if my kid sleeps all day? (. . .) In the big scheme of things, it really doesn't matter.” ~ Marika Humphreys "It was helpful to question and really let go of my expectations of what I thought my kid should be doing, and that was the gateway towar...

"Send Ben a text" The Myth of Parenting on The Same Page  The myth of parenting on the same page is that it will "fix" all of your problems in your relationship and with your teens.  The myth is that when you parent on the same page, you will magically agree with everything that your spouse does. Or even better yet, they will magically agree with everything that you do.  The Pr...

"Send Ben a text" “Once you accept everything, and you become aware of how you're feeling and why your feeling that way, you can then move forward. instead continually just regressing backwards.”  ~ Abdallah Abdallah Was Committed Because He Invested in Himself Abdallah's mom invited Abdallah to invest in himself and his future.  It's painful to part with $500, but he trus...

"Send Ben a text" Times I've Tried to Change From the Outside In.  I've got to be honest. I am guilty of trying to change things from the outside in. Even with everything that I know, I still find myself trying to change things from the outside in.  Just yesterday, in fact it was probably today at like 12:30 am on the way home from my oldest son's basketball tournament, I...

"Send Ben a text" What Tough Parenting Moments DO & DON'T Mean  Becoming a Professional Parent  No one shames professional athletes for working to improve themselves. We actually respect them for their dedication and hard work.  Don't let others hold you back because of their thoughts or their shame. You can improve as a parent with dedication and hard work.  I Should vs I...

"Send Ben a text" Transformation VS Improvement.  Improvement focuses on better whereas transformation focuses on different.  Usually, improvement is focused on the perceived problems, and simply improving how we respond to the problem.  Transformation on the other hand is focused on the vision of what could be and becoming the vision.  There is a time a place for both transformation and...

"Send Ben a text" "It's not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us."  ~ Rachel Wolchin #3 Catastrophizing!  This is one of my all-time favorites. Some people have accused me of making this word up, but it's a real word with a real definition.  catastrophize : to imagine the worst possible outcome of an action or event : to think about a situatio...

"Send Ben a text" Angie is a mom of 4 and wanted to get coaching to be more intentional with her parenting.  She realized that she was doing a lot of parenting out of either shame or fear. She was worried about what others thought about her and her parenting. This lead to her parenting in an attempt to please others that wasn't actually aligned with her values.  I wanted to share wi...

"Send Ben a text" YOU Can Be The Change You Want To See! I know I always say this, but it's still true! You CAN be the change that you want to see in your teen.  Lately, I've done a lot of relationship coaching on with one spouse or another about their relationship with their spouse, or with a mother-in-law, or with a parent. I use the same rules to coach them on these relation...

"Send Ben a text" "Can You Fix Us?" We were hoping that you could fix us and our parenting, change our parenting, and fix our teen.  There's no magical fix. You actually have to do the work.  I CAN BE THE CHANGE!  Defining Your Role as a Parent Having the vision of "Who do I want to be as a parent?", will empower you as a parent. When you set your intention, you...