I Can Complain

There's convicted felons selling meat out of a truck near me. I won big at the lottery. And, it's too hot to yield for pedestrians. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com TEXT THE RA...

Ozzy Osbourne has died this afternoon. I had to fight an old woman for a ribeye steak. And, find out why it's fine by me for parents to leave their kids in hot cars. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www...

We were promised a 10,000 hour summer blockbuster about the man with the island, but we haven't seen shit. And, my plan to defeat mother nature this summer has already failed. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. h...

Summer 2025 is over — Halloween is here. I was involved in a car accident with a man who was too nice. And, China has cyborg bees, and they're on their way! Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomp...

The annual Independence Day hot dog eating competition is a lovely disgrace to this country. I haven't seen anyone drink a glass of water since 1997. And, Texas is looking to label junk food as 'not safe for human consumption' -- like that's going to stop us. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818...

I'm very likely going to die alone in a state run facility. I have one big regret about my life. And, this new war just isn't doing it for me. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com...

Managing a nuclear arsenal must be very similar to managing a buffet. I rented a car and got upgraded to a Mitsubishi -- that ain't right. And, I'm thinking about squatting on land in the Midwest. Enjoy. The Bear: Season 4 premieres Wednesday, June 25th, at 8 pm exclusively on Hulu. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. C...

Israel and Iran are not being nice to each other. It's looking like an ICEy summer. And, the plan to replace migrants workers with children in Florida really devalues the work. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast....

Elon Musk and Trump are no longer sleeping together. Somebody had to tell you the truth. And, the boys in the National Guard are invading southern California, because they can. Enjoy.  New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. in t...

The grocery store seems like an innocent place, but you won't believe what they're trying to sell me now. And, it's time for our first installment of john's financial hour, which lasts about 6 minutes, and might lead to an arrest. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback,...

I was told to resist drugs and violence growing up, but one of those things is a hell of a lot of fun. The only thing I can afford to eat, evidently, has arsenic in it, and will kill me soon. And, if Saudi Arabia wants to bribe our president, they're going to have to step it up a little bit. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice...

I will be voting for a gang member next presidential election. I can no longer afford to eat. And, hate always wins. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com TEXT THE RAINWATER HOTLINE New episo...

I need the new American pope to install a McDonald's at the Vatican and lift the curse put on me by a 93 year old man!! If you didn't see your mom for Mother's Day -- you're probably out of the will. And, you shouldn't blame a kid for wanting to work for the king of chicken. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a vo...

It's 2025, and there are no more deals to be had. Bill Belichick has moved to North Carolina to enjoy getting sucked off in retirement. And, migrants are being paid $1000 to leave the USA. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future...

Jessica built a rocket and prepares to go to space live on the show to honor astronaut Katy Perry. I saw a homeless man in a dress, which left me wondering, where the hell is the love? And, chicken is fighting back and giving us cancer. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just compl...

Occasionally I'll say something that gives off the impression that I'm an expert, but in reality I don't have any idea what I'm talking about. My phone algorithm knows I'm going broke before I do. And, I bought a family size box of Nutri-Grain bars, which was a good thing -- until they pissed me off. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact w...

Getting high in the backseat of your car can solve a lot of your problems. Also, evidently, they used to rent mules, which sounds like a bad business model. And, Jessica brought me Arby's to celebrate episode #200. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I&...

If your house didn't flood this week, then your 401k is probably down 40%. I saw a six-year-old who looked about 65 years old. And, I don't want to get sentimental. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https:/...

I've noticed nobody ever offers to share their crack cocaine with me. My local Honda dealership is 100% employee-owned, and I don't like that. And, Florida is taking steps to put children back to work! They'll be roofing in 100° weather this summer! Enjoy. * It does appear Bozeman, Montana, has a Ruth's Chris steakhouse. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to i...

Buying a Cuisinart 12 piece stainless steel cook set dooms you to a life of being middle class. Astronauts are poor. And, is pimping actually easy? Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com/ TEXT...

I reminisce about the days when I had illegal satellite. I believe I may have discovered a way to prevent many mass shootings. And, there's one breed of dog I have a big problem with. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broa...

I might go to Mexico and risk it all. I'm not paying my taxes. And, Jessica shows off her "coastal grandmother aesthetic" in studio. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com/ TEXT...

You shouldn't negotiate without a spread of food. Spring in right around the corner. And, I rented a car that didn't have the stamina I do. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com/ TE...

I was denied a courtesy wave by a man in a t-shirt. Jessica's convinced I have a sad life. And, I destroyed my friend's trash can. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the show, we have a voice mailbox. Call 818-336-1146 and leave feedback, or just complain, and maybe I'll use it in a future broadcast. https://www.icancomplain.com/ TEXT THE RA...

There's a chance I'll be dead by morning. My neighbor hired people to remodel her home, and they're using bone saws at 3am. I saw a man forget about 9/11. I'm addicted to rice crispy treats now. I got a Taylor Swift coloring book. And, I saw some boys causing destruction and that was pretty cool. Enjoy. New episodes are released every Tuesday. If you want to interact with the s...