Honestly Smartless

EPIC Friday night at dive bar with tall guys leads to Chelsea's shenanigans. Plus, we are ready to walk for Victoria's Secrets and Sports Illustrated, but we will not be wearing the new SKIMS thong. Bits and Clips 00:00 Fun Shenanigans 03:41 Please flush the toilet 10:26 Is he hot or is he just tall? Our epic friday night 34:34 Victoria's Secret vs Sports Illustrated 39:09 Love is n...

Lips, nips, and buttholes are all the same color, according to science. And how to not get stuck in a pickle prayer and how to raise your low hanging lips. Bits and Clips 00:00 Quick catch up 02:13 Dating disaster strikes again 05:12 Pickleball and prayers 06:57 We are the epitome of health 11:07 Low hanging lips 15:59 Pretty privilege 27:10 Never to late to grow up 33:56 Brother hater 42:04 Cuddl...

Manifesting our way to Bert Kreischer, Chelsea's big work announcement and unwanted roommate attention, Lindsay on Love is Blind, and we have Taylor Swift's next big song. Bits and Clips 00:00 We finally got a Labubu! 02:55 Epic weekend adventures 05:31 Rolling on 22s 08:24 Bert Kreischer 14:05 Shenanigans 16:19 Manifesting our new jobs 19:05 Chelsea's roommate is in love with her 2...

Ironman prank, a botched Botox experience, Cash Cab, invoicing for our hair extensions - and just make us famous already so we can stop complaining about it. Bits and Clips 02:04 Botched Botox  06:59 Hair extensions are not free 09:03 Ironman prank 12:48 Ditching a date for a funeral? 18:13 Adele is the Super Bowl performer (or not?? 23:43 Get off instagram 30:13 30+ birthdays are sad 31:01 Cancel...

Men love bombing themselves, Buffalo mafia, raging over quadrobics, Troy Aikman's dating profile pic is giving d*ck pics. Clips and Bits 02:38 John Cena in yoga class 05:08 Kicked in the taint 07:50 Men love bombing themselves 10:56 Identifying as Single 16:27 Lululemon and girl math 22:14 Social Media stuff 25:19 Quadrobics 29:35 Humping centaur  32:56 We eat food sometimes 34:59 2 Bears, 1...

A tale of two Charlies: Charlie "Crack Pipe" Sheen and the other one. Plus, birthdays, snails, laser hair removal and why being delusional is the best. Clips and Bits 00:00 Ned the Snail 05:02 The only time we will speak of Charlie Kirk 09:29 Millennial Miracle Worker 14:58 Celebs being dumb 20:44 Charlie Sheen loves crack 32:32 Podcasting >> Pickleball 34:07 Ne-Yo and his 4 girlfr...

Joe Burrow and his love of samurai swords and fossils, Lindsay's diary (Amazon shopping cart is exposed), Laken the baby killer, and Munchausen cyber bullying moms.  Bits and Clips 00:00 Llama costume contest 02:01 Elder matching twins outfits are back 03:46 Lindsay spent $25 on oat milk 06:31 Exposing our diaries 07:59 10 years of marriage advice from a child bride 10:03 Trolling the TikTok...

Congrats to Taylor Swift! Get to know us if you are new around here, hot girl humor, and please support the show by buying Lindsay a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. Bits & Clips 00:00 Our origin story 07:26 Personal development is dead 09:03 Gluten detective 12:37 Sweaters over our shoulders 15:55 Sydney Sweeney & hot girl humor 18:05 Confidence boost 20:14 Trying to get Chelsea a date 24:26 S...

Is your sacral chakra and tight taint holding you back from your dreams? Would you rather date a guy in a wheelchair, with a tiny head, or with two heads? And sobriety celebrations while aging in reverse. Bits 00:00 Chicken and a mop 05:03 Buying our happiness 07:15 Binging on Digestive Supplements 11:34 Wheelchair, tiny heads, or two heads? 22:50 Free the taint 31:13 We are like, really mature 33...

Go sports! Chelsea met the Bananas, Lindsay wasn't the one nipping out this time, and we are just Target girlies who might think too much during sex. Highlights 00:00 Lettuce dog 05:25 Getting into little Boys Pants in Target 08:04 22'' rims or bust 11:07 Taylor Swift on New Heights 13:46 Savannah Bananas Snail Trail 23:19 Skin to skin puppy bonding 26:08 ChatGPT picks Chelsea'...

Nazi dogs, dream houses, and douchebag fans. And we are getting paid to party with the high possibility of being trained, but we are white girls and listen to NPR, who wouldn't want to hire us?  00:00 Sydney Sweeney's dog is a Nazi  03:02 NPR Poems  7:52 Getting paid to get gang r*ped  17:07 Wet dreams in our dream home  22:10 Shout out to our fave douchebag fan  25:39 Partying with the...

WNBA and dildos, hopefully making new friends, black cat boyfriends, and we are feeling perfect today.  0:00 Curry Seagull  04:28 SKIMS face contraption  07:15 Gym Girlies Friends 12:58 Feeling Perfect Today 19:05 Bathroom Talk 27:03 Life Changes and Happiness 27:53 No more Downsy? 29:19 History 101 of the Gilded Age 32:17 Teens should be messing around more 34:50 Soft Throuple added a 4th 40:58 G...

Ball sac razors are underrated, high school boys hooking up with older ladies, nipple clamps and Sydney Sweeney has great jeans. 00:00 Shotguns and Lions 03:56 Nipple Clamps 07:01 Hunting Wives Recap 08:57 Girl on Girl Hookups, Elder Twins and Pastors 29:50 Hair Care Show Down 36:15 Cirrus Cannabis Club 39:32 Ball Sac Razors 44:46 Should women be Uber drivers? Send us a text Support the show Like,...

Beavers falling from the sky, Coldplay calling out the CEO & HR affair, revenge is better when it's an inconvenience, and we actually need more hobbies. 01:43 Beavers Falling from the Sky 04:20 Coldplay Calling Out Cheaters 06:21 Thoughts on Cheating 07:57 Left Shoes Revenge  10:37 Lat Marriage 13:54 Gym Class Trauma 15:59 Quitting Pickleball? 17:32 Late Show Cancelled - Hire Us 21:36 Oze...

Cum dumpsters, BBLs are rotting like garbage in July and the Polar Express is actually a smut book. 00:00 Red Panda Wake Up Call 02:32 Besties Share Laser Hair Removal 04:12 Chelsea Plays Wedding Photographer 05:33 Ocho Cinco / Chad Johnson Dating Requirements 08:18 Lindsay tells all - Cum Dumpster 14:26 Chelsea is a Late Bloomer 20:11 Losing Virginity 22:03 Lena Dunham only casts Ugly People 24:1...

Camel toe or moose knuckle? Should we infiltrate the MAGA influencers? WTF is up with Will Smith, and a fun game to play with your bestie. Chapters 02:51 Parrots calling people P*ssies 05:54 Lindsay doesn't know how to buy bread 08:25 Camel Toe vs Moose Knuckle + Nipping Out 11:19 Feminism and Piers Morgan 16:22 MAGA Influencer Undercover Mission 19:06 Fun Game: How Well Do We Know Each Other...

Meghan Markle trolls us in the comments (again), the Titanic submersible is one big jerk off, and is the R word is back? Plus, the surprising sex appeal of professional pickleball.  Chapters 00:35 Orca Sensual Massage 01:54 $400 Swimsuit 03:52 Pickleball Smut 07:51 Pro Podcasters and Pickleballers 10:30 The R Word is Back 16:55 Meghan Markle Mean Comments 18:56 Hot Moms are Not Real 21:25 Skinny O...

Looking depressed is hot? Aaron Rodgers chose the wrong wife. Meghan Markle can't even choose the right friends (Tyler Perry is accused of SA, we are not shocked), which reminded us about Alex Cooper being sexually harassed by her coach. And let Alix Earle stick to clothes and makeup, not politics.  01:51 Stumpy the Lemur and Lindsay buys a car 01:56 Chelsea's mom is still being a narcis...

Chelsea has no sex game in front of Lindsay, zebras are high maintenance divas, lip slips from an ill-fitting bikini, lesbian lovers and vibrators on vacation. Happy Pride month! Chapters 00:00 Honestly Smartless is Unhoused 02:01 Ed the Diva Zebra 05:09 Talking Dogs 08:17 Lindsay is a master Haggler  10:03 Keep Your Vagina in your Bikini 14:08 Vacation Sex 16:34 A 75-Year-Old's Love Life 22:...

What is your first stop after your prison release? We will be making our dreams come true of working at Barstool Sports, and with enough money anyone can be hot. Plus, we see a Lululemon x Giggly Squad x Honestly Smartless collab in our future. Chapters 00:00 – Emotional Support Animals (aka us) 02:36 – Body Image, Diet Lies & Mirror Rage 05:20 – Sephora Hauls & Lip Gloss that Lies 08:23 –...

Ben Affleck makes Autism look hot, dumb beauty trends you do not need, and our new names ae Lil' Oatie + Lil' Dehydrate.  00:00 – Japanese fairy  01:09 – Night creams are a scam  04:05 – Goat's milk gone wrong  08:39 – Unhinged dating stories  13:58 – Hot Autism Summer  20:51 – Chili's is back?  23:22 – AI ads know us too well  24:40 – Hailey Bieber the Billionaire  25:29 – Oze...

Ozempic secrets, Diddy and his rubber duckies, Jordon Hudson and Bill Belichick influencer lessons, and Kim Kardashian is back at it again with another SKIMS bra no one asked for. Chapters 00:00 - Banter & Bullsh*t 00:16 - Homeless Sheep Saga 02:18 - Diddy Drama Drops 06:07 - Kim’s SKIMS Nipple Bra 09:05 - Kevin Spacey’s Creepy Comeback 10:31 - Hot Mess to Hero 12:16 - WTF Sports Games 14:53 -...

Your beauty routine costs more than rent, and somewhere out there, a man is racing sperm in the name of masculinity.  00:00 – Face Down, Ass Up Bees 02:19 – Beauty Standards & Why We’re Broke from Sephora 05:10 – The Great American Sperm Race: Elon Musk Sh*t 07:44 – Weird Summer Fears: Locked in a Car and Gobbler Necks 10:01 – We are Teaching Hospitality Now? 12:36 – Celebrity Courtroom Tea: D...

 Big dogs, tiny dogs, diving into celebrity fashion controversies , cultural appropriation , awkward social situations. Our review of Promising Young Woman , and the evolving world of adult entertainment .  Plus: gross food opinions, Mother’s Day emotions , and how language around sexual violence is shifting.  Timestamps: 00:00 Intro: Cuddly Critters & Viral Pet Friendships 03:04 Shopping Habi...

Who are you betting on to be the next pope? Root the Wood Turtle is scooting through life, we are big Fenty Beauty fans, and Jordon (Bill Belichick's girlfriend) is not a gold digger, she is an entrepreneur.  Send us a text Three Spirit Elixirs and Alt Wines Designed by plant scientists and bartenders. Use Code HONESTLY15 for 15% off. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you mak...