Honestly Smartless

Besties, we are NOT okay and we are LOVING it. This week Lindsay drops the bomb we did not see coming: she's having marriage issues and an identity crisis, she's moving out, and she is moving in with her partner in crime, Chelsea. Two dumb girls, one midlife crisis. We're talking 2am doorbell rings, "sad and poor" era, delusional manifestation, and the exact moment we both...

Spit or swallow? Eating babies, falling out of love, and get your butts checked. **ORIGINAL AIR DATE 02/16/2026*** Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea&ap...

She's moving out for real this time. After everything that went down with the roommate, Chelsea plays "reasons I'm excited to move out". Cyber updates, a guy who hit on both of them in the same week, a rodeo night gone sideways, a Nordstrom shoe-shopping disaster that ends in a stolen display model, and a Father's Day email from Chelsea's mom that lands a little too p...

Knicks are champions.  Lindsay called her husband fat in the car and immediately got dropped off.  And after a weekend that escalated into the kind of night nobody should have to have, Chelsea is officially moving out and no one's poking her in the chest at 4am ever again.  Chelsea and Cyber are thriving, a girls' night got fully hijacked by work nerds, Johnny learned some hard lessons a...

Parrot earrings from a dead woman's jewelry box, a homemade NA Paloma recipe, and the hottest guy in Denver showing up at Chelseas's work.  Chelsea and Lindsay get into the wannabe Christian influencer who prays over his wife's period on TikTok, the couple who exposed their best friend's cheating boyfriend on camera and lost every friend they had (plus got pregnant in the middl...

Thirty days. Six dates. One thunderstorm. Chelsea finally spent the night and she's reporting back on everything. He had two candles going (one that sounds like a campfire), a playlist titled "Sex" that ChatGPT built for 49-year-olds, carried her to the bedroom, and woke up spooning until 9am. She went in sober so she could remember all of it. Then they went to Snooze for breakfast,...

At 11:30 Thursday night, someone said "pack your bags, we're going to Santa Fe" and somehow it worked.  Chelsea and Lindsay recap their Memorial Day weekend road trip: a six-hour drive with a road trip game, a wet blanket who became a full participant once his best friend got involved, a last-minute room booking panic, a 7-year-old who didn't speak (lucky), five people nearly s...

Bobby Lee. Two makeouts. Front row. In front of everyone.  Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay are joined by Cocktails with Dimples & The Beard — a Wisconsin podcast duo born out of steak nights, Leinenkugels, and too much free time during a pandemic.  Dimples and Beard spent three nights at the Comedy Store in LA (8pm to 2am like absolute lunatics), walked away with a Bobby Lee makeout story, a Po...

A man offered Chelsea Aspen, Portugal and a yacht this summer. He is not younger or hotter, but Lindsay thinks she can get over that. Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay catch up on two weeks of chaos.  -Two Friends EDM show at Red Rocks where they felt ancient and 16-year-old who came for them -Summer season situation where a well-connected older gentleman wants a plus one for every bougie event in De...

He started comedy at 38, made $7 at his first show, framed it, and now women are running across ESPN Wide World of Sports screaming his name for a photo. Jay Yoder is that guy. Chelsea Turano and Dr. Lindsay sit down with comedian, viral cheer dad, former Latin teacher, and all-around big deal Jay Yoder for a conversation that covers everything.  -How he quit teaching after 21 years when the schoo...

Vegas recap, a pickleball bronze medal, and a knee scrape that requires some explaining. Vegas girls trip included karaoke, a wig flying off mid-Bohemian Rhapsody, nipple covers that took a layer of skin with them, and the bathtub situation that nobody came out of unscathed.  Venus Guard, an anti-sexual assault device with barbs that nobody can figure out how to remove, and why that's both ge...

Seven bags of hidden dog treats. A dining room chair wedged under the bedroom door. A half-hour sensual dog massage that accomplished absolutely nothing. Just a normal week in Chelsea's house. Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay get into the full chaos of living with someone you don't trust. Secret treat stashes, the supplements that never get given, the "did you take your meds today" text...

She said "I do"… and then found his cheating texts.  Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay break down a real-life wedding that turned into a same-week divorce, have shiting your pants stories, and Chelsea has a personal connection the the FLDS and Warren Jeffs.  Plus, parents sending a 3-page inheritance list, why red light therapy is a scam, smuggling mushroom capsules to Vegas, and Lindsay is being...

Masters 2026, golf villains, $6 beers & the challenge of going analogue at the Masters. Chelsea and Dr. Lindsay sit down with Josh Decker, host of the Off the Deck Podcast, for a crash course on everything Masters week. Josh breaks down why Augusta National is unlike any sporting event on the planet, who the good guys and bad guys are on tour (yes, golf has villains), what's actually on t...

A listener went on a first date, had a great time, and got a wedgie at the end of the night. We told her to go on the second date.  We break down the TikTok algorithm and why female comedy podcasters can't catch a break, the Instagram influencer charging $5.99 to analyze your face shape (Lindsay's an iron, obviously), and Clavicular telling men to smoke crystal meth for more energy. Plus...

We are in ranting mood, and no one is marked safe. Chelsea also makes her triumphant return to ballet after 35 years, heals some childhood trauma along the way, and learns that pickleball and ballet have absolutely nothing in common.  Tiger Woods' latest DUI, officially crowning him Black Jesus, and we wonder how many more lives this man actually has.  Plus: an Autistic murder documentary, a...

Taylor Frankie Paul was supposed to be the Bachelorette. Then her baby daddy released a two-year-old video to TMZ right before premiere and blew up her life, her career, and apparently the entire Bachelor franchise with it.  We talk about why Dakota is the villain nobody's holding accountable, why the internet keeps punishing the woman, and why ABC might actually be the most culpable party in...

Full story of the guy with no car, wears sweatpants at 2:00 pm, has one Bass Pro Shop hat, and a suspicious lack of personal details. Chelsea let's her besties send the text to end it all. Red pill manosphere men are making money by degrading women who give them clout, so Lindsay and Chelsea defend Only Fans, because they are real people too. And bachelorette t-shirt nightmares and becoming p...

474 days. Three nights. One cashmere blazer. Zero regrets. Lindsay dared the universe to cancel her, and it was terrifying.  Finance bros own 6.7 vests, Aaron Rodgers stays jacked specifically so his wife wants to f--- him, and a Netflix show is making light of men in power taking advantage of young women. New episodes every week. Follow @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Suppor...

Chelsea went on a second date four years ago and left after ten minutes because the man answered the door in house slippers and champion shorts.  He's now reappeared three times, and this week he listened to the episode about himself, remembered everything we said, and cancelled Friday. Also this week: Chelsea is convinced Jim Carrey has been cloned and replaced by a Hollywood operative. Lind...

Ellen the cannibal, edibles make Chelsea mouthy, and your friend is a dirty, ugly, trash slut. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_tu...

Spit or swallow? Eating babies, falling out of love, and get your butts checked. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea's IG: @chelsea_turano Lindsay&a...

RIGGS!!!! Recapping our master manifesting skills, WM Sausage Fest, hot golfers and Savannah Guthrie's mommy. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honestlysmartless Chelsea&ap...

Udders or mattress actress? Silent throuple retreat, learning what "scooping" is, and Paris Hilton is going to save the world. Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok: @honest...

What is Bubbles up to? Chelsea's booty gains, Lindsay can't get Botox to save her life, and which side of the Beckham drama are you on? Send us a text Support the show Like, subscribe, and share with that one friend who needs a reason to laugh. Find us @honestlysmartless on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Connect with Honestly Smartless honestlysmartless.com IG: @honestlysmartless TikTok...