Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

048   Sometimes we find ourselves in a dynamic we do not like with our partner: we may feel disrespected, looked down upon, controlled. This may be even more common for us HSPs than non-sensitives. Is there hope to change this dynamic? Can you ever feel like your partner respects you, values your opinion, and sees you as an equal?  Can you stop him from controlling you? Yes, you can. Without contr...

As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with men.  And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatment, and to stand up for the respect we deserve.  All of which is so important to have a healthy loving marriage, especially as a sensitive person. But sometimes we do this in a way that actually makes us feel even more walked...

The fact of the matter is there’s a lack of empathy, understanding, attentiveness, care and compassion--in other words, SENSITIVITY!-- in our world and intimate relationships.  And so many women right now are hungry for more of this sensitivity in their marriages. I want this for them deeply, too. It's high time to usher into our marriages, and ultimately into our world, the love and sensitiv...

We live in a world where so much focus and energy is directed into our career or work and being productive. This doesn't work well for highly sensitive people, nor does it support having a great marriage or an overall fulfilling life.  It does not have to be this way. If we want a life we actually enjoy living, we HSPs need to make the shift from life supporting our WORK to work being in serv...

044 If you've ever felt unhappy in your marriage, if you ever look back on the early days or your relationship --or even your single days-- with a longing for those happier times, or if you ever feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself in this marriage, this episode is for you. Where does our happiness really come from in our marriages? Whose job is it to bring pleasure and enjoyment to you?...

043  As Highly Sensitive People, traveling or even day adventures can pose some extra challenges, (i.e, be hard )--especially when traveling with a non-HSP partner. But, seeing new places, visiting loved ones, and having a change of scenery are not only things many of us would like to do, but things that actually benefit u s and our marriage if navigated in a way that honors our sensitivity. So ho...

042  You've asked him to be more romantic. He isn't doing it. Now what? There’s not a whole lot more frustrating in a relationship than asking your partner for something (especially something vulnerable like more romance) and have him not agree --or agree and then not follow through!! It can leave you feeling helpless to get your desires for intimacy and connection met. It can even be a...

Reactivity, tension, and emotional and physical pain can be so normal in our busy day-to-day lives. Yet they totally undermine our ability to enjoy our lives, connect with our loved ones in the deeper ways we want, and reach our goals. So how do we move back to a calmer, clearer, and more connected place (and stay there more often) -- without taking hours out of our days, or making a giant overhau...

040  Falling in love is easy, effortless. Staying in love isn’t. Today we talk about staying in love (or falling back in love), and how it's about being intentional in the tiniest moments. You don’t have to wait to learn something fancy, or to have a giant change of heart to feel better with your partner. You can make an instant little shift right now that will move you in a more loving, more...

039  The biggest barriers to love come from within our own brains. Today we are talking about a very common one: The wired-in instinct to want to be right. To see ourselves and our way as right, and others ways as wrong.  Why is this being right thing so tenacious and tempting? Listen in to find out and start to let it go... Because, though totally normal, this instinct is counterproductive to cre...

  Sex and physical intimacy. They are the prime things that distinguish marriage from a roommate situation. But, many women, especially us highly sensitive women, often find that we just don't’ feel like being sexual with our partner at the end of a long day--or ever! If that’s a common experience for you, and you feel like it’s putting a damper on the connection and fulfillment you or your h...

As a human being, especially a highly sensitive person, you’re going to have lots of feelings, many of which will be “negative” ones. Especially when it comes to the things we care most about, such as our marriages and relationships. Does this mean you have to suffer through them, grin and bear it, or resign yourself to having an unhappy life and relationship? Of course not. You can, of course, th...

As highly sensitive people, we feel deeply. So when something happens with our partner that we don’t like, and negative emotions are stirred up, it can lead to reacting strongly. . .  . . .often in ways that lead to more strife and conflict (think: withdrawing, running out of the room, snapping, criticizing, yelling, crying, ranting, going on and on trying to figure things out and feeling unable t...

035  We all have a biological imperative to feel worthy, to feel good enough. This need drives us in all aspects of our life. It is part of what pulls us towards love.  But it is also in love that our sense of not being quite good enough, not being worthy, is most highlighted.  Having a strong sense of self-worth is a big part of having a marriage that feels like the safest most loving zone possib...

034   What if you consistently felt like you were important, cared for, valued and like you deeply matter to your partner, and to all the people you care about? Like, all the time...no matter what happened? How would that change your marriage….your life? In a nutshell, it would free you up to have so much more fun, lightness, connection, love, and passion in your marriage, and simple enjoyment of...

033 Love flourishes when we feel safe. A sense of emotional safety is foundational to having a great - or even decent-- marriage. When both partners feel safe with each other, the real heights of love and connection are available.  From that zone of love and safety in a marriage, communication is easy, conflict gets resolved quickly, and playful, passionate, tender ways of interacting just natural...

032   Many highly sensitive women feel so uncomfortable when their partners get upset, angry, triggered. Often, they get upset themselves!  Or else, they may tiptoe around in order to avoid emotional upheaval, feeling like they need to stop doing certain things (like asking for time to themselves), or start doing certain things...or they hold back on bringing up important topics because their husb...

031   Today we are talking about Communication and Authenticity Inhibition (which is one of the biggest things that stops many HSPs from actually having the relationship we want) and their cause: Negative Emotion Aversion. We dive into how this all gets in the way of healthy effective communication (like asking for what we want), makes it hard to be honest and authentic in our relationships, adds...

030   Being willing to ask for what you want from your husband, whether it’s help with chores, or time to connect with him, is simply an essential part of feeling supported in your relationship.  Many women, though, have resistance to asking for what they want, or simply go about it in ways that aren’t very successful, and then end up feeling discouraged, resentful, and unsupported in their marria...

029  If you’re a sensitive woman who loves connection and wants to feel closer to your partner, this episode is for you. There is so much connection available to us in our intimate relationships. And yet so many of us aren’t experiencing it --often, tragically, to the point that many women question if their relationship is worth continuing. But it’s most often not that connection is unavailable in...

028  To get what we want in our marriages, many of us HSPs unconsciously fall into using some tactics that...backfire. In this episode, I share what those are and dive deep into 2 of my personal old go-to’s: blame and criticism.  They were at the heart of my first marriage's demise. From my end. I want to help you to avoid that experience.  Blame and criticism can be sneaky, and insert themse...

027   Very often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backward: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves. But focusing on him isn’t where you pack the most punch for actual change! There is a more effective, easier, and more rewarding approach to improving your marriage, where you actually have powerful influence to have the loving, connected, suppo...

026    What allows us big success in one area, and not in another? The answer has to do with not just what WE THINK matters most to us, but what we prioritize with our actions.  When we truly value something, we put it at the forefront of our lives. Getting clear on this is key to success in our lives and marriages.  Sometimes, through no fault of our own, we unconsciously undervalue the things th...

#025  I am celebrating this 25th episode of the podcast with a very special guest: My hubby!  We get really open and honest and share what is great and not so great in our marriage-- so you can learn from us and make your marriage more loving and amazing. We dive right in and discuss: What it’s like for my husband to be married to an HSP-- the challenges and the joys. What an HSP brings to the rel...

024   What makes you lovable? Can you make yourself more lovable? Is it your fault if your husband isn’t finding you irresistibly lovable? Do you have to EARN his love? Or are you totally lovable right now?  Maybe it's not so cut and dry. Come find out in this episode. If you ever: have trouble saying no,  or worry about your partner getting upset,  or get defensive,  or take things personall...