Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

217   Ever feel like you can never quite relax in your marriage—even when nothing is really wrong? Maybe a part of you feels like you have to manage the relationship all the time… or you're constantly noticing your partner's mood, his tone, how quickly he texts back, whether he seems distant, or whether the two of you still feel "okay."  You aren't trying to overthink your...

216 (If you've been enjoying this podcast, and haven't yet left a review, please do so now! Thank you so much.)  Sometimes control in relationships doesn’t look like "classic" control. And yet it still takes a real toll on the relationship. So this IS an episode for you whether or not you think you may sometimes be controlling. In it I share a story about a conversation with a...

215  If you’ve put real effort into improving your relationship…Like,  tried communication tools, or mindset work, nervous system regulation, self-worth healing, or attachment work—or all of the above—and still find yourself feeling stuck in the same emotional patterns… this episode will likely land deeply. In the previous two episodes, we explored Emotional Agency and how your inner world shapes...

214 If you’ve ever felt unloved, unseen, or emotionally unmet in your relationship…even while knowing your partner probably does care about you… this episode is a must listen. In the last episode, we talked about emotional agency and the 3 core layers that shape emotional well-being for highly sensitive people. In this episode, we dive much deeper into one of those layers, which tends to be one of...

213  If you often feel triggered, hurt by, or really impacted by what’s happening in your relationship, this episode will help you understand why–and what to do to leave this painful pattern behind. We’re talking about Emotional Agency — the master skill that allows highly sensitive people to guide their emotional experience, instead of being run by it. Most highly sensitive people were never taug...

211 Today’s episode is a little different — a quick note from me about some behind the scenes happenings!  Right now, I’m in an important season: creating new material, new structure, and a clearer path for the kind of real, lasting change so many of you are longing for. Because real transformation happens with guidance, support, and practice over time, and I want to give you the very best of that...

212 If you’re a highly sensitive woman new to this podcast, welcome — and if you’ve been listening for years, I’m so glad you’re here, too. With over 210 episodes, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. That’s why I created this guided “Start Here” pathway — a curated order of episodes designed to help you feel calmer, more secure, and more hopeful in your relationship, and to give you t...

210 High sensitivity is not a weakness in relationships — it’s a powerful advantage. In this foundational episode, you’ll discover why highly sensitive people (HSPs) are uniquely wired for deep emotional intimacy, authentic connection, and meaningful closeness in marriage. (This is a completely remade episode revisiting an old topic) But many sensitive women are told they’re “too much” — too emoti...

209 (Great to share with your spouse) Why does defensiveness show up so quickly in your marriage—especially when you, as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) wife, are trying to express hurt or something you're unhappy about? And why does it often sound calm, logical, and completely reasonable —  and still feel like it erodes intimacy?  In this episode on subtle defensiveness spotting, we break d...

208  Ever feel easily irritated or annoyed with your partner and wonder what it means about your relationship? Ever thought, “ Why is everything that my partner’s doing bothering me lately ?”or “ Does this mean something is wrong with us ?” If so, I've been there too, and this episode is for you. In it, we explore why feeling irritated in your relationship doesn’t mean anything is wrong, how...

207 If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with your partner feeling more overwhelmed, more disconnected, or more upset than when you started — this episode is for you. In this conversation, we explore why so many well-intentioned attempts to “talk things through” actually escalate conflict instead of resolving it — especially for highly sensitive people. You’ll learn what’s really happeni...

206 If you’ve ever read a marriage book, heard some relationship advice that seemed logical, or sat in a therapy session and thought, "Why is this so much harder for me than it seems to be for everyone else?" —there is a biological reason for that. Today we dive into what that is, and why a lot of traditional marriage advice just doesn't work for us as highly sensitive people.  The...

205  Why does unhappiness and irritation so often sneak into even the most loving marriages? Usually, it’s through the silent killer of connection: non-acceptance. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the "Acceptance Switch"—that internal shift that moves us from judging our partner’s flaws to making peace with their full, messy, human selves.  I share the raw truth about my two marri...

204  Developing your sensitivity, instead of overcoming it, may be one of the best things you can do for your marriage. We HSPs often think of ourselves as “too sensitive”, but actually, our sensitivity is the very thing that can make our marriages richer and better than any others on earth! I often talk about how ”working with” your sensitivity is quite key to your happiness in love– and your who...

203  "That couple is just so in love…so much more than we are!" "How come we can’t communicate like that?"  "What's wrong with our relationship that my husband doesn't look at me like that?"   Ever sounded like that in your head? Ever compared your relationship, or your spouse, to other couples or spouses…and then felt even more unhappy about your relationsh...

202 Want to make sure you aren't settling for unfair treatment, letting your partner's hurtful behavior fly, passively just “taking” your partners rudeness, or being a doormat? Want to stand up for yourself and proactively make sure you get the BEST treatment from your spouse, not just the scraps? Ever wondered if what I share on this podcast lets your spouse get away with too much? This...

One of the common behavior patterns we HSPs can be prone to is people pleasing – or partner pleasing! Interestingly, on the surface people pleasing seems lovely, it can wreak real emotional havoc and really hurt our intimate relationship over time.  Today my special guest, Todd Smith, a highly sensitive person and host of the podcast,  Stress Management for Highly Sensitive People, and I are going...

200  I have developed a habit of forgiveness over the years in my marriage. And today I want to tell you about it and why it has saved my marriage–and my own heart– over and over.   Forgiveness is so easily misunderstood. I share about how I was confused about it, too, and how, in the past, this led to stopping myself from forgiving things my husband has done that felt hurtful to me. But, luckily,...

199  Resentment, grievance, and blame: these are not easy things to move past in our intimate relationships, especially, when it feels like your partner has piled on many little – or big – hurts, transgressions, and wrongdoings over the course of your relationship. Resent and blame come very naturally to us as humans, so if you feel them, you are oh-so-normal. AND, they are keeping you locked out...

198   To make your relationship better, it's absolutely essential to BELIEVE it is possible to do so . That's why I love sharing about the changes my clients see when they work with me: it helps you believe you can also make your relationship better, too!  But it's even more helpful and inspiring to hear directly from these women themselves. So here's Caroline! Get ready to fee...

197 One of the reasons so many marriages and relationships are not as good as they could be, or are really quite painful, is that we tend to approach our relationships in instinctual ways.  Since instinct often comes not from our inner wisdom (that intuition’s role), but from our inner protective patterning and our cultural conditioning, following our instinct in our relationship can often slowly...

196 Hope comes in various flavors. Some of them promote better relationships, and some drag them down. Hope can leave us helpless to change things, OR make us powerful agents of change in our marriages (and other areas of our lives, of course). Today you will hear about the 2 kinds of hope that don’t help, and the 1 kind of hope that makes ALL the difference in your marriage–and in being able to m...

195 This may be one of the most important episodes you will hear to make your marriage the one you want it to be.  Especially if, like so many women, you wonder “Why should I be the one to do the work on our relationship?” Or you feel burdened or resentful that you seem to be alone in working on your marriage. Or if it just seems unfair that a lot of relationship advice is directed at women, when...

194 Today we are shining light on an almost funny thing that goes on deep under the surface in us women, which  can really cause rifts, pain, and unnecessary suffering in our marriages to men:  What I am calling Reverse Sexism in relationships.  What is that, you may wonder? Tune in to find out. You will hear many examples of it, both how it has shown up in me personally, and my clients, too. You’...

You shape your emotional experiences SO deeply. Even if you can’t see it now, even if it feels like your partner is the main shaper of how you feel in your relationship, even if it seems like you are often emotionally at the effect of the world.  YOU, in fact, are the #1 source of your own emotions. This is the best news EVER. Because it means you have so much more power over how you feel in your...