Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

192  If there has been one major underlying concept that I have woven into nearly every episode of this podcast, it is the concept of emotional delegation (or its opposite, emotional agency). BUT I’ve never made a podcast episode solely dedicated to making sure you understand this concept. So today is the day!  I made this episode to clearly define emotional delegation for you, and help you see ho...

191 Vulnerability is the secret magic sauce that makes for the best, most connecting communication in your relationship– and today you are going to learn all about it! You’ll hear: What vulnerability actually is Why it is so magic in relationship specific examples of what communicating vulnerably looks like, along with when to lean into using it,  Why you may not be being vulnerable when you most...

189  (This episode goes hand in hand with episode 190) Being a highly sensitive person obviously means we are more sensitive than others. This has real ramifications in our love lives— both wonderful and challenging.    Listen in to this VERY revised (almost totally new) version of an older topic, where you will learn that, luckily, you can support your sensitive self in ways that amplify the best...

190 I made you a special short quiz to determine the level of dysregulation in your unique nervous system.  (This episode goes hand in hand with episode 189, so I highly recommend listening to it first, or after you take the quiz.) Why should you take it? Because as highly sensitive people (and really, as just regular human beings on this planet in these modern times), our nervous systems are ofte...

188  Developing healthy boundaries is an absolutely essential part of having a great intimate relationship, especially as highly sensitive people. They are a way to take care of yourself, each other, and the relationship.   I teach 3 types of boundaries, and today we are diving into the 2 psychological, or energetic types of boundaries: Protection boundaries, and containment boundaries. (Please li...

187    If you want a great–or even just good– marriage, you of course want to feel close and connected to your spouse. When you and your partner have that going for you, it’s one of the best feelings ever! But even if you're not feeling that way these days, there is a LOT you can do to receive and deepen the connection and closeness in your relationship (in almost all cases). It can take a li...

186  In this episode, you will learn about one very powerful, but simple, way to generate emotional connection and strengthen all realms of your relationship. Words and great verbal communication can really add to the closeness you feel in your relationship, but they are absolutely not the only way to deepen connection.  In fact, there is plenty of research that shows the power of physical touch t...

185  Every marriage needs a foundation of respect to thrive. Yet, in so many marriages, there’s a lack of respect. Studies show that men, especially, feel its lack, which tends to take a big toll on the sense of love and connection in that relationship.  Why is this so common? Well, for one, it does not always come naturally to be respectful. And, as women, we may sometimes shy away from giving ou...

 This episode is one of the -- if not THE- - #1 most essential episode of this podcast, if you want to have a loving, connected lasting marriage. SO important I'm updating and re-publishing it so you can listen again--or for the first time.  Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the...

183   This episode is for everyone in an intimate relationship —especially if reactivity is ever an issue, or if you ever find yourself in sticky, difficult, or heated interactions with your spouse– or you just want to communicate and relate even better! You will learn one of the most essential skills you can develop to make your relationship strong and loving: The Pause.  Being able to pause is i...

182 The ESSENCE of what it takes to have a good – even GREAT – marriage is not complex – it's actually very simple.  In this episode, I boil down EVERYTHING I teach my clients to do–and everything I have done to make my marriage the amazing loving thriving one it is– into the 3 things you must do to have the same. Just 3!  Because I want you to see how simple it really is.  That said, DOING t...

181   If you sometimes find yourself overwhelmed, triggered, emotionally overloaded, or reactive in conversation (or conflicts) with your spouse, this is a must listen episode. In it , I want to introduce you to a key thing to do (a tool I don’t want ANY HSP to live without), broken down into 4 simple steps,  so you can get back to navigating that charged moment or conflict with grace, sensitivity...

180 Most, if not all, couples argue. Even when their relationship is very healthy. So if you and your spouse find yourself mired in the occasional --or even more regular -- conflict, it doesn't mean it’s detrimental to your marriage, and it doesn't have to be painful… In fact, conflict can actually be an important part of growing a more deeply intimate, connected and supportive marriage....

179  Things are changing around here going forward. What will it mean for you? How can the podcast (now a vast library!) be even MORE helpful going forward? Listen to this short episode to hear what to expect and how the changes will affect you – and how you can make the most of the podcast and my support to make your marriage great going forward. I will give you a few very specific and practical...

178  If you're unhappy enough in your marriage to be questioning if you should stay or go, you probably feel uncertain, confused, afraid. You're too scared and unsure if it's the right thing to do to actually leave, but you also know you don't want to go on living like this with your spouse. What if your spouse CAN improve? What if you CAN connect in the deeper ways you want? W...

177  There are three major things I learned from my first marriage ending in divorce that have allowed me to create an amazing fulfilling marriage with my second husband. And they have to do with understanding my sensitivity so much better.  As I've worked with hundreds of other highly sensitive women, I've noticed the struggles I had in my first marriage echo so many of the struggles th...

176  When things are feeling less connected, loving and supportive in your relationship than you want them to as a highly sensitive person, there is an excellent chance a lot of it is coming from chronic dysregulation and emotional overload. In other words, stress.   As Hsps, it is hard to NOT feel overstimulated or stressed in our modern lives. I’ve recently shared a fair amount about how this le...

175  Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe it’s something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesn’t care. Like you don’t matter. Like you aren’t loved. Normal for everyone, for highly sensitive women and deep-feeling women, this is extra oh-so-common. It may very well be true that your partner could...

174   This is a slightly revised episode, updated and re-released because of its importance! Here’s to not tolerating mistreatment, and how to begin the process of influencing your partner to treat you best!  As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with our significant other.  And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatm...

173  Releasing this one early to help you reduce any Thanksgiving related stress!  We have a TON of sway over how we feel on a daily, hourly, and even minute by minute basis–-as well as on our ability to connect in the deepest, sweetest, most loving ways with our loved ones.  So very much of this comes down to which part of our nervous system is activated at the moment, and knowing how to activate...

172 If there was one thing I could shout out from the rooftops right now to help all intimate relationships –and really all of humankind and our very planet– what I share in this episode would be it. It is that important. Have you ever felt a sense of your spouse being “against” you, almost like they’re an enemy, a nemesis, a “bad guy” at moments, if not much of the time? If so, you are FAR from a...

As a sensitive or deep feeling person, your nervous system is more reactive. This matters. Because, importantly, your nervous system is the foundation of not just your emotional well-being , but also your relationships well-being— or it’s lack of well-being! A chronically overstimulated, stressed out nervous system (which, let's face it, most of us have in our modern world, especially as HSPs...

171 If you've ever felt AT ALL uncomfortable to express yourself in any way in your relationship, this episode is for you. Because, even if you want a loving affectionate marriage, a weird thing may happen that I’ve seen again and again with women I've worked with (and I’ve done it myself, too!) : You may edit your loving impulses , stop yourself from expressing in certain ways the love...

170  If you have any chance of having a great –or even just a decent– marriage, there will inevitably be times in your relationship that you need to take a look at your self and how you are approaching your relationship. To self-reflect and take ownership of the ways you are contributing to a less-than-great relationship. Even if you know how essential this is for making positive changes and havin...

169  This is the first in a re-boot of some of the most essential episodes of the podcast that I will be releasing occasionally. Whether you’re newer to the podcast, or if you’ve listened to every episode, this one is a must listen (or re-listen). Because often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backwards: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves....