Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

174   This is a slightly revised episode, updated and re-released because of its importance! Here’s to not tolerating mistreatment, and how to begin the process of influencing your partner to treat you best!  As modern women, we’ve been encouraged to not let ourselves be “doormats” in our relationship with our significant other.  And we want to be strong, to not tolerate criticism or unkind treatm...

173  Releasing this one early to help you reduce any Thanksgiving related stress!  We have a TON of sway over how we feel on a daily, hourly, and even minute by minute basis–-as well as on our ability to connect in the deepest, sweetest, most loving ways with our loved ones.  So very much of this comes down to which part of our nervous system is activated at the moment, and knowing how to activate...

172 If there was one thing I could shout out from the rooftops right now to help all intimate relationships –and really all of humankind and our very planet– what I share in this episode would be it. It is that important. Have you ever felt a sense of your spouse being “against” you, almost like they’re an enemy, a nemesis, a “bad guy” at moments, if not much of the time? If so, you are FAR from a...

As a sensitive or deep feeling person, your nervous system is more reactive. This matters. Because, importantly, your nervous system is the foundation of not just your emotional well-being , but also your relationships well-being— or it’s lack of well-being! A chronically overstimulated, stressed out nervous system (which, let's face it, most of us have in our modern world, especially as HSPs...

171 If you've ever felt AT ALL uncomfortable to express yourself in any way in your relationship, this episode is for you. Because, even if you want a loving affectionate marriage, a weird thing may happen that I’ve seen again and again with women I've worked with (and I’ve done it myself, too!) : You may edit your loving impulses , stop yourself from expressing in certain ways the love...

170  If you have any chance of having a great –or even just a decent– marriage, there will inevitably be times in your relationship that you need to take a look at your self and how you are approaching your relationship. To self-reflect and take ownership of the ways you are contributing to a less-than-great relationship. Even if you know how essential this is for making positive changes and havin...

169  This is the first in a re-boot of some of the most essential episodes of the podcast that I will be releasing occasionally. Whether you’re newer to the podcast, or if you’ve listened to every episode, this one is a must listen (or re-listen). Because often, as humans, we go about trying to improve our marriage backwards: we're more focused on changing our partner than changing ourselves....

The connection and closeness we so deeply want with our partner can dissipate for a variety of reasons, but often it comes from a slow hardening of our hearts towards our spouse in response to the arguments, the many moments of irritation, or the mistakes we feel they are making, and the disappointment we feel from it all. If that resonates at all (or you are simply tired of feeling disconnected w...

167  You want to look forward to your life with your significant other into the future. Imaging a bright future with each other is part of what keeps a relationship vibrant and alive in the present.  An important (and sometimes overlooked) piece of that is spending time dreaming into that future together with your spouse. Sharing and supportively working towards both your personal dreams and your...

Many women I talk to feel as though their husband doesn't contribute enough domestically, like with the household chores like dishes, laundry, etc, or with the kids.  If that is going on at all for you, you probably feel resentful about it, and a sense of burden at having to do the lion's share of the domestic load. Who wouldn’t?! This episode will change that, and help you get your part...

165   If you are tired, as so many women–and especially highly sensitive women—are these days, then it IS affecting your relationship – for the worse. When we are tired, depleted, or burnt out, we HSPs tend to feel especially burdened, irritable and even resentful. And unfortunately it is just so easy to get tired, depleted or burnt out in our modern lives with all the societal and real-life press...

164  All marriages have ups and downs. It's in large part how you handle the downs that determines the overall quality of your relationship, and whether it grows more deeply loving and stays that way, or it disintegrates. In this episode I candidly share how I recently applied my own coaching teachings to my own marriage during one of those harder times (when I was feeling like my husband was...

163  Understanding this one thing about relationships can truly make or break your marriage: What we practice grows stronger. And in our relationship, we are, consciously or unconsciously, always practicing.   We practice having arguments, or finding our way to a solution. We practice reactive communication, or choosing to communicate more consciously, we practice repulsion or we practice attracti...

162  Today you'll hear about one of the big things my husband and I do once a year that just lights up our marriage–it’s like a total connection, attraction, and intimacy rejuvenator for us. And it can be for you, too. Although usually the most important work you can do in your marriage is about small actions and changes made on a regular basis, I’ve found that there are some bigger things yo...

161  Today is a quick dip into an absolutely ESSENTIAL part of building and maintaining a great relationship with your significant other: consciously fostering fondness of them. (You’ll do it in just 5 minutes!) And yes, you CAN absolutely feel more warmth, admiration and love for them on purpose, and build in more of all the good stuff between you and your spouse. A solid body of research about w...

160  A common question I have heard from women I work with is, “ How can I hold my partner accountable ?” And the internet is full of people saying we need to hold our husbands accountable. But what even does that really mean when it comes to an intimate relationship? And how do you actually do it? That’s what you will learn here today. The truth is, “holding someone accountable” can be an importa...

159  Almost all of us instinctively approach our intimate relationships in mixed ways: ones that generate more loving intimacy and harmony, and ones that drive division and pain, which I call the Backfiring Tactics.  To have the marriage you want, it will take cultivating more of the first, and minimizing those Backfiring Tactics. This is always one of the very first things I help my clients do, a...

If you don't feel your partner loving you, or sometimes your partner’s supposed love isn’t matched by his actions, this episode is for you. Women often share with me that this is a common experience for them, and they are hurting because of it. And without some insight into what is really going on in these instances, their relationship just feels worse and worse over time. I don't want t...

157  There are many “micro” things you can do on a regular basis to keep your relationship strong (and so you don't need larger “interventions” that take a lot more time and energy in order to get things back on track).  And a very important one? Micro repairs. Today we dive into just how to make them, as well as how to make micro re-directs that will help stop a downhill-heading interaction...

156  An episode for both you and your spouse, especially if communication isn’t always the easiest thing between you or if one or both of you ever feel misunderstood or unheard.  If you want to give your marriage the best chance to be the fulfilling connected one you want–the NEW marriage we talked about last episode– and your partner the very best chance to be the loving, supportive one you want,...

155   Sometimes you hear something that changes everything, and puts you in a state of mind that leads to finally being able to bring a big dream to life. This must listen episode may very well be that for you. Because if you are like most of the women I talk to and work with, you want a new level of intimacy with your spouse: a real partnership that is tender, connected, deeply supportive and nur...

154   Other people in your life  ( friends, family members',  and even professional "authorities" in your life) are going to have opinions on your spouse and your relationship, and they may share them with you. If you don't know how to handle this well, you may end up making things even harder in your relationship. As highly sensitive people it can be all too easy to let our ot...

153   As women, we often go to our friends and other people in our lives when something isn't going as well as we want with our partner, or when an issue comes up. And it’s only natural to want to get support that way.  But, it is all too easy when we do that to fall into the toxic trap of griping, venting and male-bashing — even WITH the big sensitive conscientious hearts we tend to have as...

152   Not feeling as connected as you want to with your spouse? Feeling like you're not on the same page much these days, or you have sort of evolved AWAY from each other? I have been there and it doesn't feel good. But there is a way back that’s simple and straightforward.  In this episode, you’ll hear a great remedy to bring more connection into your marriage–in ways BOTH you and your...

151  Most of the highly sensitive women  I talk to mention wanting their relationship to feel "lighter"-- easier, more carefree, more warmhearted.  And that IS a place where a lot of joy  can be found in our intimate relationships--if we can access that lightness. . . The challenge is, as HSPs, we can tend to take things pretty seriously. Not a bad thing, by any means, but it can make it...