Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

150  I put out a call to you listeners for questions, and today I am going to answer three of them! All three highly sensitive women’s questions are very relatable and have a somewhat similar theme: How to handle being bothered by things their spouse does or ways he is, so they can feel better AND work with their spouse effectively in these situations.  Specifically (but with a bit more detail). E...

149   After 32 years of marriage, and the help of many different marriage counselors,  Kathy was looking at apartments and thinking of a future without her husband. She just could hardly imagine being happy with him again. Nor did he seem interested in getting help for his side of the issue they had between them. But,  after just a week or two of starting her work with me, not only did she start t...

148  If you're a woman between the ages of 35 and 55, you are going to want to catch this episode–and bring your spouse! Because this is a big transitional time for women and couples of this age range. And, even though the hormonal shifts that happen during this time have a bad rep, they actually bring along with them a big opportunity to grow the love, supportiveness, connection in your marr...

If you are at all curious about or interested in what coaching can do for you and your relationship, or even what it IS, this bonus episode will help clarify that, and what my specific version of it, for highly sensitive people,  is all about. Since I have changed a few things over the years in what and how I offer marriage coaching, I wanted to update you about those changes as well as help answe...

147  Gina, a client who worked with me in Treasured, had been totally disconnected from her husband and lonely in her marriage for 20+ years. The connected intimacy we love as sensitive people? There wasn’t any of it. She wasn’t sure she could change things much after all those years, or how totally disconnected they were,  but she was clear she didn't want her life to feel that way forever,...

146  What can you realistically expect to feel in a good and healthy relationship? In this episode I spill the beans. Listen in to hear one potent bit of clarifying medicine to help you lean away from all the painful worry and doubt that comes up around your relationship, to relieve you from all the questioning you may be doing about whether this marriage can be improved or not, and help you lean...

145  If you sometimes (or often) can't quite feel love for your significant other, I totally get it. I have felt that, too, many a-time, and I know it DOESN'T feel so good . Because, of course you want to feel love for and connection to the person you spend your life with, right? So I want to share a personal story with you that will help. Dive into today's episode to hear about one...

144  If you’ve ever been frustrated by slow or no change in your relationship–either on partner's end or your own, and you want to stop falling into those same old painful dynamics with your partner again and again, and instead SEE things actually getting better over time… … you’ve got to understand how change works . Because it really is a process, with 4 distinct stages. And before you even...

143   If you are like many other women,  deep down you probably LOVE your partner, but it can feel like you DON’T LIKE him very much sometimes, yeah? I’ve been there, too, and it doesn't feel great… because who wants to not like the person they’re planning to spend their whole life with? By now, it shouldn't come as a surprise that this can be even more common of an experience as an high...

142   Developing Self-Compassion is one of the key ingredients to building a truly thriving marriage as an HSP. It is embedded in everything I teach and will be forever, because it is just so essential.  So I invited Lori Cangilla, a psychologist and HSP specialist, to have a conversation about it with me, share stories and some laughs, and dive deeper into what self-compassion is all about in thi...

141  This episode should be required listening for anyone in an intimate relationship! With many years under my belt as a marriage coach, one of the biggest and most common problem-causer I’ve noticed again and again that causes disrespect, pain, and discord in marriages (and more so in HSP marriages) is the tendency to not know the difference between one’s own side of the court and one’s partner&...

140   We all want a life full of what is most important to us, full of “Wealth” of the emotional, relational, and also financial, kind–or what my guest, Mark Yegge, a “wealth architect” and money manager, calls “balanced abundance”. In other words, we want the wealth of feeling good, feeling secure, feeling healthy, feeling connected, loved, and fulfilled in this life. There is solid research that...

139  It's time for FREEDOM FROM HURT WEEK .  Learn more and join us here .  There are 2 categories of emotional pain in our relationships, and although neither of them is “wrong”, one of them tends to push us apart, making our marriages HARDER  (if we don't know how to work with it)… …and the other, if we let it, can actually fuel the love and connection we want in our relationships. You...

138   One of the underlying causes of my first marriage ending was because of what I call Care Distortion. It wrecked me, leading me to feel like my husband didn't care about me enough, and took a huge toll on how good my then hubby and I felt with each other.   Today, I tell you all about my story with it, and how it is very possibly affecting your relationship too, as it does so many highly...

If you are at all discouraged in your relationship, you must listen to this episode. (I’m calling it a bonus episode simply because I’m giving it to you today as it contains time-sensitive info and I’m going to be on a short podcast break –talk to you again in several weeks!) If: you feel like there’s not much chance for growth in your marriage, your spouse is resistant to working on your relation...

136   Today I bring you some scientific researched- backed HOPE for you and your marriage. If you are an HSP, this is essential knowledge about yourself and what’s possible for you.  Did you know that being an HSP makes it more likely for you to arrive at the happiness you want in your marriage, when you put certain conditions in place?  Because you have a special advantage as an HSP in this area....

135  Last chance to sign up for the free workshop below!  Even if you aren’t feeling happy now in your relationship, and all the joy and love of those early days of the relationship feels faded, there is hope for your marriage yet! In fact, you can have something even better: An even more genuine, more sustainable, deeper love and connection than ever with your spouse, where you know how to work w...

134  Don't miss the free workshop I announce inside (link below)!  If there were 1 research-backed thing that takes only 20 seconds that you could do to generate those warm hearted deep connected feelings between you and a significant other, grow the security and ease in your marriage, AND bring your nervous system into regulation ( i.e. make you feel grounded and peaceful) in the midst of a...

133  Being a highly sensitive person obviously means we are more sensitive than others. This has real ramifications in our love lives— both wonderful and challenging. Luckily, we can support our sensitive selves in ways that amplify the best parts of our sensitivity, and make the challenges of it so much easier.  This will involve caretaking your sensitive Mind Body Heart System. . . and, like it...

132   When your significant other has done something that anger or hurts you, you may want to share a complaint-–or what I call a grievance– with them, especially if it is eating away at your or you feeling it is coming between you as a couple. Sharing a grievance with your partner can be an important part of building a relationship that is full of loving sensitivity, collaboration, and care for e...

131  Today we are revisiting the topic of anger in our relationships, because it is so often a destructive force that leads to an unraveling of connection. But it doesn't have to be. If you often (or just sometimes) feel frustrated, resentful, aggravated or resentful towards your significant other, get this episode in your ears. Because your anger may be valid, especially if you don't fe...

130  The quality of our relationships are deeply impacted by various aspects of our Mind-Body-Heart Systems' well-being. Especially our emotional well-being, which is deeply affected by our physical health (specifically our nutritional, hormonal, and nervous system health).  In this episode, we will talk about all this with a special guest, Nutritionist Lise Masé.  Listen in to our conversati...

129  We almost all get triggered (upset, reactive, bothered, suddenly overcome with emotion) at times in our intimate relationship, especially as highly sensitive people. Although so common, it’s also a big contributing factor in marital unhappiness. To put an end to the yucky feelings and damaging effects that being triggered can have on your marriage, you’ve got to learn what’s going on when you...

128  If you ever feel criticized or hurt by something that happens between you and your partner, this is a must listen episode. (See the details on the NEW course below, too). Inevitably in your long term relationship there will be times you hear what feel like judgements of your actions or character, or criticisms, or complaints from your partner. When you feel hurt by these, not only is it painf...

127  This is a hearty episode that will help you put an end to upset, frustration, resentment, old hurts–and so many arguments and conflicts that you have in your relationship— if you dig in and follow the steps I lay out. If you find yourself feeling mad, resentful, frustrated, irritated or disappointed often in your marriage, a large part of it is likely due to your “Relationship Rulebook”. When...