Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

144  If you’ve ever been frustrated by slow or no change in your relationship–either on partner's end or your own, and you want to stop falling into those same old painful dynamics with your partner again and again, and instead SEE things actually getting better over time… … you’ve got to understand how change works . Because it really is a process, with 4 distinct stages. And before you even...

143   If you are like many other women,  deep down you probably LOVE your partner, but it can feel like you DON’T LIKE him very much sometimes, yeah? I’ve been there, too, and it doesn't feel great… because who wants to not like the person they’re planning to spend their whole life with? By now, it shouldn't come as a surprise that this can be even more common of an experience as an high...

142   Developing Self-Compassion is one of the key ingredients to building a truly thriving marriage as an HSP. It is embedded in everything I teach and will be forever, because it is just so essential.  So I invited Lori Cangilla, a psychologist and HSP specialist, to have a conversation about it with me, share stories and some laughs, and dive deeper into what self-compassion is all about in thi...

141  This episode should be required listening for anyone in an intimate relationship! With many years under my belt as a marriage coach, one of the biggest and most common problem-causer I’ve noticed again and again that causes disrespect, pain, and discord in marriages (and more so in HSP marriages) is the tendency to not know the difference between one’s own side of the court and one’s partner&...

140   We all want a life full of what is most important to us, full of “Wealth” of the emotional, relational, and also financial, kind–or what my guest, Mark Yegge, a “wealth architect” and money manager, calls “balanced abundance”. In other words, we want the wealth of feeling good, feeling secure, feeling healthy, feeling connected, loved, and fulfilled in this life. There is solid research that...

139  It's time for FREEDOM FROM HURT WEEK .  Learn more and join us here .  There are 2 categories of emotional pain in our relationships, and although neither of them is “wrong”, one of them tends to push us apart, making our marriages HARDER  (if we don't know how to work with it)… …and the other, if we let it, can actually fuel the love and connection we want in our relationships. You...

138   One of the underlying causes of my first marriage ending was because of what I call Care Distortion. It wrecked me, leading me to feel like my husband didn't care about me enough, and took a huge toll on how good my then hubby and I felt with each other.   Today, I tell you all about my story with it, and how it is very possibly affecting your relationship too, as it does so many highly...

If you are at all discouraged in your relationship, you must listen to this episode. (I’m calling it a bonus episode simply because I’m giving it to you today as it contains time-sensitive info and I’m going to be on a short podcast break –talk to you again in several weeks!) If: you feel like there’s not much chance for growth in your marriage, your spouse is resistant to working on your relation...

136   Today I bring you some scientific researched- backed HOPE for you and your marriage. If you are an HSP, this is essential knowledge about yourself and what’s possible for you.  Did you know that being an HSP makes it more likely for you to arrive at the happiness you want in your marriage, when you put certain conditions in place?  Because you have a special advantage as an HSP in this area....

135  Last chance to sign up for the free workshop below!  Even if you aren’t feeling happy now in your relationship, and all the joy and love of those early days of the relationship feels faded, there is hope for your marriage yet! In fact, you can have something even better: An even more genuine, more sustainable, deeper love and connection than ever with your spouse, where you know how to work w...

134  Don't miss the free workshop I announce inside (link below)!  If there were 1 research-backed thing that takes only 20 seconds that you could do to generate those warm hearted deep connected feelings between you and a significant other, grow the security and ease in your marriage, AND bring your nervous system into regulation ( i.e. make you feel grounded and peaceful) in the midst of a...

133  Being a highly sensitive person obviously means we are more sensitive than others. This has real ramifications in our love lives— both wonderful and challenging. Luckily, we can support our sensitive selves in ways that amplify the best parts of our sensitivity, and make the challenges of it so much easier.  This will involve caretaking your sensitive Mind Body Heart System. . . and, like it...

132   When your significant other has done something that anger or hurts you, you may want to share a complaint-–or what I call a grievance– with them, especially if it is eating away at your or you feeling it is coming between you as a couple. Sharing a grievance with your partner can be an important part of building a relationship that is full of loving sensitivity, collaboration, and care for e...

131  Today we are revisiting the topic of anger in our relationships, because it is so often a destructive force that leads to an unraveling of connection. But it doesn't have to be. If you often (or just sometimes) feel frustrated, resentful, aggravated or resentful towards your significant other, get this episode in your ears. Because your anger may be valid, especially if you don't fe...

130  The quality of our relationships are deeply impacted by various aspects of our Mind-Body-Heart Systems' well-being. Especially our emotional well-being, which is deeply affected by our physical health (specifically our nutritional, hormonal, and nervous system health).  In this episode, we will talk about all this with a special guest, Nutritionist Lise Masé.  Listen in to our conversati...

129  We almost all get triggered (upset, reactive, bothered, suddenly overcome with emotion) at times in our intimate relationship, especially as highly sensitive people. Although so common, it’s also a big contributing factor in marital unhappiness. To put an end to the yucky feelings and damaging effects that being triggered can have on your marriage, you’ve got to learn what’s going on when you...

128  If you ever feel criticized or hurt by something that happens between you and your partner, this is a must listen episode. (See the details on the NEW course below, too). Inevitably in your long term relationship there will be times you hear what feel like judgements of your actions or character, or criticisms, or complaints from your partner. When you feel hurt by these, not only is it painf...

127  This is a hearty episode that will help you put an end to upset, frustration, resentment, old hurts–and so many arguments and conflicts that you have in your relationship— if you dig in and follow the steps I lay out. If you find yourself feeling mad, resentful, frustrated, irritated or disappointed often in your marriage, a large part of it is likely due to your “Relationship Rulebook”. When...

126  Is your significant other defensive? If so, you know how hard it can be on your communication as a couple, working through things that need to be addressed, and feeling connected. As I know from personal experience, it can really feel like a divisive wedge between you. And if you are anything like most of the highly sensitive women I work with, you’d love for that defensiveness to just disapp...

A special episode featuring 2 male guests, Casey Desharnais, a Men’s Depth Coach, and my husband Will– just a regular guy– for both you and your (willing) partner to listen to. To be the most successful partner and have a very connected and loving relationship, it requires the skill of being honest with oneself–of looking at what's going on inside yourself that may be leading to less-than-ski...

124  Feeling connected to your significant other is key to your marriage fulfillment as a highly sensitive woman, right? But with the very busy modern lives so many of have–with careers and homes to tend to, kids to care for, a social life to keep alive– we are likely to feel disconnection creeping in… And when we feel disconnected, we can start to feel resentful, and go about trying to feel more...

123  Feeling heard by your partner matters to most highly sensitive women in a big way–when it comes to the smaller daily interactions, or those bigger important conversations. We also tend to love it when our partner opens up to us and shares what's going on for them. In other words, we tend to really love having a culture of great listening and open sharing in our marriages. But it’s easy t...

122  If you feel stuck and in the same old patterns of pain, recurring situations or emotional reactions that never seem to improve your relationship–or you are just ready for faster positive change- this episode is for you. One of the hardest things for so many people is stopping patterns of interaction that hurt their relationship (like reacting super strongly, or being snippy with your partner)...

121 Our natural empathy as  HSPs can be a beautiful gift or big challenge in our relationships. I’ve heard from many a client that they feel their empathy is overwhelming and drags them down. I have seen how it can also lead to resentment and hard times in relationships. If you've ever had that experience,  the good news is your natural empathy can actually be used to build greater intimacy i...

#120 Today, we are re-visiting a foundational topic–one that many other marriage professionals do not address, but is essential to understand as an HSP–because it is the very SOURCE of so much that goes awry in our marriages--and the source of what makes them amazing, too. As humans we all come into this world having inherited a “set of equipment” that can make things really hard in love –if we do...