Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

073  Can highly sensitive people become less sensitive? Many HSPs wonder this! And many experts say no. I have a slightly different take, one that will bring you hope, clarity, and motivation. In this episode I share what I know is possible to change and what isn’t when it comes to being sensitive–especially when it comes to emotional sensitivity. I break down for you the 5 most common approaches...

It may seem like it will be complex to make your marriage one you love, that there are just so many things you need to do .... And ….it WILL be complicated, if you try to patchwork lots of to-do’s together to improve things. But I’ve got good news for you: it can actually be simple to improve things by 100% – when you have laid out for you the simple foundational steps that lead to a great marriag...

071  Last week we talked about connecting your significant other's way, and the benefits it brings you. Lest you think you always need to bend to his ways (oh no you don’t), today we discuss connecting YOUR way, and my favorite 5 step process for doing so. If you love connecting through communication, as so many sensitive women do,  or you simply want more emotional intimacy in your life with...

070  As a sensitive woman, you likely love feeling connected to your significant other—and want to feel that way more often, yeah? Trouble is, especially if you are married to a man, he may not be as into connecting in the ways you most love. He’d rather spend less time having deep talks and such, and more time doing other things. Or he outright resists spending time with you in the ways that brin...

If you’re considering getting professional support now or in the future for your marriage–or for anything related to your mental emotional well-being and life goals– you will want to understand what kind of support is best for you and your unique situation and goals. I've seen too many women waste precious time, energy, money – and even lose hope in things changing in their marriages all toge...

068  Want some super actionable–and fun! – ways to bring more connection, trust, cooperation and a sense of synchrony into your relationship? (Of course you do, as a highly sensitive woman who loves feeling connected to the person you love! )Then you’ve got to listen in. In this episode, we dive into how moving together is a powerful doorway to feeling closer, and how you can incorporate this rese...

067  One of the biggest causes of discord, conflict, and the cycle of feeling less and less love and connection in a marriage is caused by what we call A ssuming Negative Intent. If you’ve ever had thoughts like: “My partner doesn’t care about me”, or "He’s just so irresponsible”, or “H e doesn't value our marriage ”, or “ Xyz  [parenting, time together, a nice home] must not be as impor...

066   This is for you if you feel disconnected, irritated, or resentful towards your partner, or you don’t like who you become sometimes in your communications with him, or you experience a lot more conflict than you’d like –or you just want to create some freshness and more intimacy with your significant other (and inside yourself!) Our feelings lead to so much of how we interact and are reacted...

065  Often feel a little (or a lot) irritated, annoyed, disdainful or indignant, frustrated, exasperated, resentful or disappointed with your partner?   Or just generally hardened against this person you ultimately really want to feel soft and open to? This is likely what I call “Should Pain.”  Although very normal to the human brain, “should pain” is one of biggest barriers to love in our marriag...

064  Without knowing where we want to go, how can we ever get there? We can’t, at least not without a ton of meandering and getting lost along the way. So having a clear vision of what you WANT in your marriage is always the very first step to creating it.  I want you, my friend-- and all sensitive women who are in a partnership (or want to be) to have what they feel is an amazing relationship, an...

063  If interactions between you and your significant other are laced with negativity, even slightly….or if you just want to bring more connection and love in your relationship, this episode is for you.  In it, I share one key thing (backed by decades of research) that you can do, or rule you can follow, to not just improve the culture in your marriage, but to maintain a strong loving relationship...

062  Today we dive into a 4 step formal process to release the urge to control your partner in the moment. Because the cost of trying to control our partner in a marriage is intimacy –and feeling a whole lot of icky emotions, whereas releasing control is a huge step towards gaining more intimacy and harmony with your honey. Yet, even if you intellectually know this, old habits die hard (and your h...

061  How can you have more genuine influence in your marriage and way more control over your experience of it?  Today, I shed light on this as we continue our series on our human urge to control in our relationships. In this episode, I offer you an important intermediary step you can take to be great at releasing control and ultimately creating MORE of the fulfillment, support, and authentic love...

In this fundamental episode (the 1st in a 3-part series), we dive into an essential-to-look-at issue--one most sensitive women will need to face and learn to work with if we want to feel more like our husband’s “lover” (someone for him to love and cherish and someone for him to feel loved and cherished by) rather than, well,  his “mother”. With a whole lot of compassion and honest sharing of my pe...

059   The way to make truly lasting positive changes in your marriage is by addressing the SOURCE of the things that a) keeps you from doing or saying things that lead to a loving relationship, or b) drives you to do things that lead to misunderstanding, hurt, and disconnection. By making root-deep positive cognitive and emotional shifts, you’ll naturally have way more interactions with your honey...

There are certain feelings that are like gold when it comes to having a marriage you love. Because feelings are like fuel: they take us places!  Some feelings lead to spats, disconnection and negative cycles with our partner (resentment for example).  Others lead to lots of positive interactions and the creation of a culture of more and more love and connection with our husband. Generosity is one...

Today I offer you a fun, very actionable thing you can do to re-set your system, gain some valuable perspective, and re-invigorate your sensitive self AND your marriage. My clients who have implemented this have loved it, and found it so nourishing-- and I myself make it a regular part of tending to my sensitive mind-body-heart system and love life! In this episode, I share the whys, hows and what...

056  If you ever take things personally, feel hurt by your partner’s words, or get defensive (hello fellow HSPs!)—or if your partner can be critical towards you— this is for you. You probably feel like you need to stand up for yourself.... Yeah? But let’s be honest. Most of us do so by getting defensive. I get it! Standing up for yourself by defending yourself feels like a way of not letting your...

055   If there's a sense of lack-of-luster in your relationship, or you find yourself feeling disinterest, irritation, or disconnection with your husband, or you wonder if your marriage will ever feel good, alive, and totally loving again, it is not necessarily because there is a huge problem between you. It is more likely because of some very harmless-seeming little things you might not even...

Our Love Is Fragile Syndrome is a silent “ syndrome” ( not a scientific term!) that lurks invisibly in the background of so many relationships and causes a lot of pain and disconnection --where there could instead be lots of love. If you tend to find yourself wondering if your love can last, or if your partner really loves you, if you tend to read a lack of love into your husband's actions, o...

053  As much as most of us would love to feel tons of love for the person we’ve chosen as our partner in life, it’s not always so easy to do. In fact, feeling loving feelings can seem very far off sometimes in our marriages. In this episode, we talk about one of the biggest reasons you may feel disappointed and frustrated about a variety of things your partner does (or does not do): a trick our br...

052   Often , for highly sensitive people,  trauma is or has been a part of our lives, and can have a negative impact on our relationships.  But trauma and autonomic nervous systems responses to stressful events do not have to dictate our lives and keep us locked into painful reactions and patterns, as, Karen C.L. Anderson (a master-certified life coach and author who helps women use the troubled...

051  Knowing how and when to set a “Relationship Boundary” is an essential part of blazing the trail to a more respectful, loving, high-integrity marriage for both you and your husband. Setting appropriate boundaries are, 1st, a way to take loving care and be respectful of yourself and the relationship, and 2nd, they teach your significant other to understand what’s okay by you and what isn’t, hel...

#050  We modern women expect more out of marriage and men than ever. We tend to want our husbands to be a more mature, evolved, supportive partner with whom we can regularly connect intimately on a deep physical and emotional level.  But, in many cases, our men don’t seem to be able to rise up and meet us in that place as much as we want.  Today, we dive in and look at why— and what you can do abo...

If you feel resentment or annoyance often, if you feel burdened by all that you have do for your marriage, or if you feel you get walked all over,  it’s quite possible you aren’t saying “NO” enough to your husband.  But the trouble is, you may also feel guilty or uncomfortable: saying no not doing what he wants you to do or doing what you prefer over what he prefers.  What if you could say no and...