Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

If you’ve been listening to this podcast at all, it's because you’re an Highly Sensitive Person who wants to make things better, and stay great, in your relationship or marriage.  If so, it’s important that you understand the two modes we, as HSPs, need to move back and forth between in order to best grow, change, and shift things between us and our significant other (and keep things really h...

079  Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the love available, but we also miss out on the benefits it brings to our marriages, and to our own selves–of which there are SO many, especially for you as a highly sensitive person.  Now, you may want to feel more love, but you may also feel li...

078  This episode offers you encouragement and an important reminder that I know I used to need often, myself. This could be a great episode to listen to with your partner, if they are willing. Growing up in this world, it is hard to escape taking on certain basic ideas about marriage and love—ones, unfortunately,  that are not only wrong, but also actually prevent us from having the deeply loving...

You want to feel like your partner is your teammate in making this marriage better. But you may sometimes (or often) feel alone in doing that work, or it seems he avoids working on certain aspects of your marriage–even if you’ve asked him to. You're not quite sure what it takes to sway the tides and get him improving your marriage by your side. I have been here, too. But I learned how to chan...

076  Today I’m sharing with you the 3 phases we go through to get to a mature love that lasts in our marriage.  Often we don't understand or recognize the phase we’re in, that it is normal, and what we can do to move our relationship through the harder phase and into the place that is most deeply alive and loving–and so we miss out on ever getting there. Today, that all changes! In this episo...

075  You’ve been listening to this podcast (or other ones on relationships), reading books, learning about how to have the kind of marriage you want. You're trying out new approaches. But you aren't seeing as much change as you wish…and  you feel frustrated, or discouraged, or at the least, not as hopeful about things as you want to feel. Maybe you even feel like you want to quit botheri...

074  We all are born with 2 particular “biases” of our brains that make lasting love difficult…that is, until we understand them and learn to overcome them! These innate biases are simply ways our human brains (highly sensitive or not) naturally function that lead to perceiving the world–and our partner –in certain predictable ways.  If you ever feel resentful, disappointed in, frustrated with, or...

073  Can highly sensitive people become less sensitive? Many HSPs wonder this! And many experts say no. I have a slightly different take, one that will bring you hope, clarity, and motivation. In this episode I share what I know is possible to change and what isn’t when it comes to being sensitive–especially when it comes to emotional sensitivity. I break down for you the 5 most common approaches...

It may seem like it will be complex to make your marriage one you love, that there are just so many things you need to do .... And ….it WILL be complicated, if you try to patchwork lots of to-do’s together to improve things. But I’ve got good news for you: it can actually be simple to improve things by 100% – when you have laid out for you the simple foundational steps that lead to a great marriag...

071  Last week we talked about connecting your significant other's way, and the benefits it brings you. Lest you think you always need to bend to his ways (oh no you don’t), today we discuss connecting YOUR way, and my favorite 5 step process for doing so. If you love connecting through communication, as so many sensitive women do,  or you simply want more emotional intimacy in your life with...

070  As a sensitive woman, you likely love feeling connected to your significant other—and want to feel that way more often, yeah? Trouble is, especially if you are married to a man, he may not be as into connecting in the ways you most love. He’d rather spend less time having deep talks and such, and more time doing other things. Or he outright resists spending time with you in the ways that brin...

If you’re considering getting professional support now or in the future for your marriage–or for anything related to your mental emotional well-being and life goals– you will want to understand what kind of support is best for you and your unique situation and goals. I've seen too many women waste precious time, energy, money – and even lose hope in things changing in their marriages all toge...

068  Want some super actionable–and fun! – ways to bring more connection, trust, cooperation and a sense of synchrony into your relationship? (Of course you do, as a highly sensitive woman who loves feeling connected to the person you love! )Then you’ve got to listen in. In this episode, we dive into how moving together is a powerful doorway to feeling closer, and how you can incorporate this rese...

067  One of the biggest causes of discord, conflict, and the cycle of feeling less and less love and connection in a marriage is caused by what we call A ssuming Negative Intent. If you’ve ever had thoughts like: “My partner doesn’t care about me”, or "He’s just so irresponsible”, or “H e doesn't value our marriage ”, or “ Xyz  [parenting, time together, a nice home] must not be as impor...

066   This is for you if you feel disconnected, irritated, or resentful towards your partner, or you don’t like who you become sometimes in your communications with him, or you experience a lot more conflict than you’d like –or you just want to create some freshness and more intimacy with your significant other (and inside yourself!) Our feelings lead to so much of how we interact and are reacted...

065  Often feel a little (or a lot) irritated, annoyed, disdainful or indignant, frustrated, exasperated, resentful or disappointed with your partner?   Or just generally hardened against this person you ultimately really want to feel soft and open to? This is likely what I call “Should Pain.”  Although very normal to the human brain, “should pain” is one of biggest barriers to love in our marriag...

064  Without knowing where we want to go, how can we ever get there? We can’t, at least not without a ton of meandering and getting lost along the way. So having a clear vision of what you WANT in your marriage is always the very first step to creating it.  I want you, my friend-- and all sensitive women who are in a partnership (or want to be) to have what they feel is an amazing relationship, an...

063  If interactions between you and your significant other are laced with negativity, even slightly….or if you just want to bring more connection and love in your relationship, this episode is for you.  In it, I share one key thing (backed by decades of research) that you can do, or rule you can follow, to not just improve the culture in your marriage, but to maintain a strong loving relationship...

062  Today we dive into a 4 step formal process to release the urge to control your partner in the moment. Because the cost of trying to control our partner in a marriage is intimacy –and feeling a whole lot of icky emotions, whereas releasing control is a huge step towards gaining more intimacy and harmony with your honey. Yet, even if you intellectually know this, old habits die hard (and your h...

061  How can you have more genuine influence in your marriage and way more control over your experience of it?  Today, I shed light on this as we continue our series on our human urge to control in our relationships. In this episode, I offer you an important intermediary step you can take to be great at releasing control and ultimately creating MORE of the fulfillment, support, and authentic love...

In this fundamental episode (the 1st in a 3-part series), we dive into an essential-to-look-at issue--one most sensitive women will need to face and learn to work with if we want to feel more like our husband’s “lover” (someone for him to love and cherish and someone for him to feel loved and cherished by) rather than, well,  his “mother”. With a whole lot of compassion and honest sharing of my pe...

059   The way to make truly lasting positive changes in your marriage is by addressing the SOURCE of the things that a) keeps you from doing or saying things that lead to a loving relationship, or b) drives you to do things that lead to misunderstanding, hurt, and disconnection. By making root-deep positive cognitive and emotional shifts, you’ll naturally have way more interactions with your honey...

There are certain feelings that are like gold when it comes to having a marriage you love. Because feelings are like fuel: they take us places!  Some feelings lead to spats, disconnection and negative cycles with our partner (resentment for example).  Others lead to lots of positive interactions and the creation of a culture of more and more love and connection with our husband. Generosity is one...

Today I offer you a fun, very actionable thing you can do to re-set your system, gain some valuable perspective, and re-invigorate your sensitive self AND your marriage. My clients who have implemented this have loved it, and found it so nourishing-- and I myself make it a regular part of tending to my sensitive mind-body-heart system and love life! In this episode, I share the whys, hows and what...

056  If you ever take things personally, feel hurt by your partner’s words, or get defensive (hello fellow HSPs!)—or if your partner can be critical towards you— this is for you. You probably feel like you need to stand up for yourself.... Yeah? But let’s be honest. Most of us do so by getting defensive. I get it! Standing up for yourself by defending yourself feels like a way of not letting your...