Heal Your Relationships

Modern life often has us juggling balls, frantically rushing from one activity to another, until we collapse into bed, exhausted, only to wake up and do it all again. No wonder we struggle with emptiness and disconnection! One way that we have found to infuse our family life with a sense of purpose, belonging, meaning, and connection, is to create a family creed. Listen in as I share the 7 values...

Dream together if you want your relationship to thrive and not only to survive. This advice applies to EVERY type of relationship. Not only romantic ones.  So with this introduction, I welcome you to my first relationTIP .  On this occasion, the relationTIP is to dream together.  We generally talk about handling conflict or getting more connected in our relationships. Still, we need...

For many years in my own life, I didn't enjoy Valentine's Day .  During my first ten years in America, I struggled in my relationships. I experienced many problems that I now know were very common. Still, no one told me that back in the day, not even when I was training to be a Psychiatrist.  However, I have LOVED Valentine's Day for the last ten years. And the reason behind this is that...

There is a lot of discourse about toxic relationships and why we stay in them.  And I have seen the same pattern many times. This pattern comes and goes in waves.  In a specific season, I have friends who struggle in their relationships.  Most times, the people involved in these relationships are good people with good intentions.  But they don't have the necessary tools or pers...

In This Episode: Today I want to talk about change .  Usually, we start the beginning of every year with a lot of gusto about what we need to be better at and all the habits that we need to change.  And then, by mid-January, things start to fizzle out.  For a long time, I thought this happened because of a lack of prioritization or discipline.  But the truth is that we have a l...

Some days are smooth and easy.  You wake up, and the weather seems to be working on your behalf.  You don't know why or how, but things seem OK.  And there are other days when all the lights are red, everyone seems to be in a bad mood, and things are just… crabby .   We are going to have both kinds of days. A LOT of both types of days during our lifetime.  So I want t...

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between therapy and coaching ? It can be hard to understand what each one entails, especially when you are wondering which one might be right for you. Some therapists say that coaching is unhelpful, even dangerous , and there are coaches who say that therapists are stuck in the dark ages. The truth is, there is no clear right or wrong, despite what pro...

How do you react when someone cuts you up in traffic? It’s annoying, right?! What about when they ignore you or roll their eyes at something you said? How do you respond when somebody hurts your feelings or rejects your ideas? The way you respond when you get poked or triggered is called your “F” type. And knowing your “F” type is a kind of awareness that can be life-changing . In this episode, I’...

I firmly believe you cannot heal on your own.  Believe me, I tried . For many years. We need community and people around us . This is just one of 6 phases that I believe are truly essential if we want to heal from our past. Almost everybody I have witnessed going through a journey of healing – including myself – experiences these 6 phases, and with them, is able to start showing up differentl...

So many of us think that permanent healing is not available to us. We think that we are stuck feeling how we feel forever , and there is nothing we can do about it. But my friends, this is not true. Permanent healing is possible for you. But to access it, you need to stop sticking Band-Aids on to temporarily fix the problem, and start focusing on the deeper work. Sticking Band-Aids on the problem...

We generally talk about hope as something that is positive, lovely, and healing. But hope is only a good thing if it is encouraging you to take personal responsibility and action in your life. So what about when it doesn’t? What about when hope is actually toxic? Relying on hope alone is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world. It’s a copout. And the sooner you understand this, the...

Have you ever had a conversation with somebody that left you instantly moved? Maybe it gave you a new way of seeing things or explained why somebody behaves in a certain way. Maybe it gave you a different perspective that you would never have otherwise considered. We have so many conversations throughout our lives, but only a select few truly stay with us. Only a select few have the power to chang...

White lies. We’re surrounded by them and people telling them. Our loved ones do it, our workplaces do it, our kids do it, and we do it. We think they’re harmless. But are they really? White lies can often feel like the easier, and sometimes more kind, ethical option. Trust me – I know. I used to be the queen of white lies. But then I realized they were a problem. In this episode, hear some of the...

Most of us have been exposed to the upside of unconditional support. It feels fuzzy, lovely, and warm; it’s ideal . But as much as I’m a huge fan of creating safety in relationships, I am NOT a fan of unconditional support. What?! Why would I believe in emotional safety, but not unconditional support? There was a time in my life when I had unconditional support , but it actually hindered my growth...

Did you know that the language you use affects your entire experience and perception of life ? Well, my loved ones, it does. Whether it’s the self-talk you have running in the background of your mind or the things you say to other people, the words you use can have a profound effect on your journey. So ask yourself, is the language you are using serving you and your relationships? It has been prov...

I have been on a healing journey for quite a while now, and it is still ongoing. I have a unique way of approaching relational healing and it has come through a lot of trial and error. Honestly? I’d say it’s been a lot more error than trial. I love Psychiatry, but it did not teach me all the tools I needed for my healing journey. I had to find those for myself. It took me a long time to find the r...

In traditional therapy, you complain about something to your therapist. She/he supports and validates you and then you both brainstorm for a way to fix the issue. Right? Right. The problem is, another annoying thing happens next week, and then again next month....it's a never-ending cycle. I also use complaints in my work with clients. BUT....we use them to powerfully and FULLY heal, so you never...

Welcome to episode #1 of “Your Brain on Trauma” Podcast! We begin by asking, How do you know if the past is still clouding your thinking? After all, maybe you’ve done therapy or coaching about past issues. How do we know if it’s complete, or if there are more layers to uncover, and heal? IMHO, there are 3 telltale signs. Tune in to see if you recognize any of them in your own l...

Life is a series of transformations and becomings. As you become more of who you are, you let go of the parts that are not in alignment with this newer, expanded version of you. So what does that have to do with this week’s podcast? Well, I have a big, juicy, beautiful announcement to make. The podcast is undergoing an upgrade! You heard that right. The podcast is going to experience a directional...

In This Episode: We’ve all experienced feeling frustrated, hurt, irritated, or angry by something that occurs in our day-to-day lives. Maybe it’s someone cutting in front of you in traffic. Maybe it’s your boss rolling their eyes at your suggestion, or your child having ANOTHER tantrum. Whatever it is that triggers you, it is important to deal with those moments in an effective way. So how do we s...

A message that was always passed down to me was that money is hard to come by. You have to work yourself to the bone and sacrifice EVERYTHING else in your life – including your closest relationships – in order to succeed. This limiting belief affected me for a long time. But then I learned how to shift it, and everything changed. Last week we talked about limiting beliefs, what they are, where the...

In This Episode: Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you want something else, but for some reason just can’t stop doing what you’ve always done and getting the same old results you’ve always had?   You’re not alone, and there is a reason for it: your limiting beliefs could be holding you back. Whether you’re struggling with a goal you’ve set at work, stuck in a job you don’t want to be in...

In This Episode: For so long, I didn’t know that those things called triggers existed. I was so fused with thoughts and emotions that I would just react to things, without ever giving them a second thought.     It felt like one minute I was happily riding an elephant without a care in the world and then – BAM – just like that, the elephant was overriding me and throwing me off.   Bu...

So, you gave yourself the pep talk about calmly reacting to difficult people and difficult situations and it worked. PSYCHE. It only lasted a couple of days! No matter the communication tactics, pep talks, or your deep desire, you find yourself overreacting and not being able to control your emotions.  Well, today, I’m going to let you in on a little secret… …you probably need to heal your “I...

What do you really want in your life? What would you say if I told you that your answer to this question may not be coming from your true, authentic self, but from a socialized pseudo-self? Just because you feel a strong pull towards something, doesn’t mean that it is in alignment with your values and your highest self. In this episode, I’m diving deeper into the concept of the pseudo-self vs the...