Heal Your Relationships

For the longest time, I held onto the notion that genuine connections required a substantial amount of time.  I convinced myself we needed to sit down for hours, sipping on a cup of coffee and simply being present for each other.  And since I didn't have that time available, I inadvertently placed it on the back burner. Back then, I crafted many excuses. "Once X, Y, and Z fall into place...

Growing up, I got a firsthand taste of the two contrasting flavors of boundaries. On one side, there were those who let boundaries be loosey-goosey, while on the flip side, I encountered folks who constructed walls so formidable it felt like you needed a passcode to get through. As we journey into emotional adulthood, a pivotal step is realizing when it's time to embrace the art of healthy boundar...

How do I get my needs met in a relationship?  This is a question that I hear time and time again from my clients. Sometimes they don't even know what their partners need, and they also need to learn how to get their own needs met.  One of the things I have figured out is that we often conflate and confuse boundaries with needs. And when we misdiagnose, the solutions we implement don't wo...

I used to think about self-compassion in a "one and done" approach. But I was so wrong. Only in recent years, I have discovered that there are many steps and nuances inside self-compassion.  As you practice it, you realize the parts where you need extra support, talk to someone or join a community of people who can help you.   So I'm glad we spend so much time discussing this import...

Mindful self-compassion is the container of all the emotional work that we do. It contains multitudes and holds sacred space within you to heal yourself and your relationships.  But sometimes, it doesn't come easy to us. It may be easy to be compassionate, in the general sense, with the world, the Earth, and the people in your life.  However, it may be challenging to be self-compassionat...

Self-trust is a topic that I have been grappling with in my own life. Then, I started noticing it everywhere, and many clients have asked me about it.  How do I trust myself? How do I trust other people? How do I let go of resentment?  So today, I want to offer a framework so we can discuss this topic.   Self-trust is one of three different layers of trust. The other two are tr...

You're juggling multiple priorities, deadlines are looming, and your emotions are running wild. It's easy to feel stuck in a whirlwind of chaos. You are overwhelmed.  But is this emotional or practical overwhelm?  They are different, and the tactics to deal with them are also different.  Emotional overwhelm occurs when you feel overloaded or unable to cope with the intensity of your...

Arguments and misunderstandings in relationships are inevitable. Their occurrence doesn't mean that the relationship is wrong or doomed or tainted or that you made a mistake by choosing this person, be it a romantic partner, friend, or colleague. They are inevitable. Even if the relationship was blessed by the heavens and meant to be. So let's get this out of the way.  You need to stop being...

During the summer, parenting can become even more challenging.  We, as adults, can't take the whole summer off. We still need to work and pay our bills. In addition, now we have to entertain our kids while they are not attending school.  Since buttons get pushed, and we may feel overwhelmed, we sign them up for this, that, and the other thing.   While some activities are wonder...

Knowing and protecting your loved ones' raw spots is valuable.  And what do I mean by that?   When you identify something that stresses your loved ones out or makes them uncomfortable, you will know how to show up to help them.  Maybe your spouse's raw spot is that they are slow to wake up in the morning. They don't think very clearly in the morning and like to take their time...

Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics because it took me forever to figure out how to do it right.  So I enjoy sharing with you the perspectives that have worked for me.  There're some questions that come over and over whenever I'm working with new clients.  How do I deal with someone who doesn't honor my boundaries? How do I set up boundaries in the first place since I'm...

Sexual health is still taboo in many circles. Even for physicians.  Many of us didn’t get enough sexual education when we were studying. Surprisingly, this also applies to OBGYNs.  This is the reason why today’s guest, Dr Sadaf Lodhi, decided to become a sexual coach. She noticed a massive gap in her knowledge and took the matter into her own hands.  Dr Sadaf Lodhi is a board-certif...

Life is short. Are you focusing on what matters most? Or do misunderstandings, hurts, and rumination consume your precious time and energy? In this bonus episode, I share why being intentional with your relationships is important and how you can learn practical ways to stop arguing for good. Tune in and register for the free 5-Day Marriage Communication Challenge that runs June 5th - June 9th, 202...

How to make big decisions? This theme has come up over and over in my sessions with clients.   People who struggle to make big decisions are immersed in confusion and hesitation.  Besides, they may be waiting for something to happen before making these big decisions.  And they also think that they are not brave enough and that some other people are wired to jump, but they simpl...

When Breath Becomes Air, the book written by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, moved and inspired me.  Many of you said you enjoy my takeaways about a particular book.  So today I want to share some lessons from this piercing work.  Recently, I read this book for the third time and got more from it this time than ever.  I think the reason is that I’m older and have had more experiences.&nbsp...

Parenting a sensitive child could be difficult. Especially when they come from sensitive parents who are thoughtful and want to acknowledge their emotions while, at the same time, establishing the appropriate boundaries.  Many of us, as healers, whether physicians or coaches, want to help our clients heal in a wholesome way.  This also applies to our children.  We may fumble with fi...

Our relationships could feel boring or distant. We may think that we no longer have much in common with the other person. We may not even know if we find the other person interesting or exciting.  Believe me, you are not the only human being in the world who has doubts about their relationships.  And I'm not only speaking about romantic connections. Every relationship has its seasons, al...

Sometimes what bothers us is not actually what bothers us. There is something underlying our angst, discomfort, emptiness. But what's at the bottom of these feelings?  It could be many things. And it's hard to pinpoint the reasons.  At the same time, there is a method that helps us identify all of these reasons.  In today's episode, I share this method. Undoubtedly, it will help you...

Writing down the situations when you feel triggered is an excellent exercise to get to know yourself more.  Besides jotting down these moments, you must write the feelings that come up in every instance.  Not the thoughts. Not the stories you tell about it. Just the FEELINGS.  Anger, disappointment, overwhelmed, confusion, fear, happiness, worry, rage. Whatever it is, write it down....

Rumination is not just thinking repeatedly about something. This is introspection.  Instead, rumination is persevering on distressing ideas. It is an intrusive and obsessive act rather than a deep reflection.  In fact, rumination is our go-to place when things are uncomfortable.  Someone may have said something upsetting to you. And then you repeat that conversation in your head.&nb...

Many people get stuck in the process of rebuilding trust in a relationship after experiencing disappointment or betrayal.  Most of them want to reconcile quickly and go to the past, to the relationship dynamic before the betrayal or the deception took place.  But let me tell you this - that time is not coming back. And it shouldn't. Because the relationship wasn't working for any of you...

A conflict bothers us, drains our energy, and makes us feel scattered and without focus.   We cannot enjoy any moment when we are worrying about an argument.  The reason behind this is that we are ruminating. We are not present.  At the same time, how we think about the problem also worsens the relationship. However, conflicts are not destructive .    Shocking, r...

Welcome to Episode 1 of the Emotional Mastery Show!  Today, I speak with Dr. Erica Bove about what emotional mastery is exactly, and how quickly life can change when you learn the tools that we (sadly) aren't taught in school. Erica first learned about the tools I have created in 2020, and since then, her whole life has changed in so many wonderful ways. She has become the master of her fate...

There are three conversations within every conversation.  But what does this mean?  We can identify three different conversations whenever we have any interaction, even the most mundane ones.  In the first place, a whole world is happening inside of you.  When talking, you bring up your past experiences, identity, values, belief systems, and feelings.   At the same ti...

Two toxic emotions are painful for everyone.  Children and adults alike.  But unfortunately, some parents trigger these emotions in their own kids.  Despite being well-meant, intelligent, and loving parents, they still cause emotional havoc in their children.  As I have said, they are painful for everyone. But especially for children because they are dependent on adults, and th...