HARKpodcast

Since we'll be away from the podcast until July 22, we've got some songs specifically to hold you over until then! For the rest of the month, we hope that "Christmas in June" by AJR will satisfy your holiday music appetite - hopefully more than its protagonist satisfied his partner, hey-oh!! And then to help you get through next month, we get more heartfelt (and also gay) (and also Grinch) with "C...

Despite our best efforts, the World Cup is happening again, and it's happening here. Though we were able to put it off for 400+ episodes, it's finally time for us to do some winter holiday songs about the so-called beautiful game. Ian, in particular, has a lot of say. First up, we hear "Three Lions (It's Coming Home for Christmas)" by Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds, a 2022 holiday versio...

It's almost Pride Month and we're getting ready with some queer (or at least queer-adjacent) holiday songs! By request, we're listening to Girl in Red's "Two Queens in a King Sized Bed", a Christmas song featuring sapphic love and potential body horror, followed by "Happy Hanukkah (Will We Still Be Friends)" by Philip Labes, a Hanukkah song featuring theatre kids and a brief digression into Clinto...

Since we're away this week, we pre-recorded this episode! Appropriately, the theme of the requested songs is travel, and in particular, travel gone wrong at the holidays. Or maybe just being stuck in a place during Christmas? But not like a place-place, like, a liminal place. Airports, ships at sea, that kind of thing. Which is to say: exactly and exclusively like those two things. "Christmas at t...

In honour of International Workers' Day on May 1st, we're listening to two songs about the plight of those who have to work on Christmas Day. First up is an epic song about an achingly mundane world. Specifically, Seattle in the 1990s: it's "Sometimes You Have to Work on Christmas (Sometimes)" by Harvey Danger. Then we earn some overtime with Modern Modem's retail-centric "Working on Christmas". T...

It's April, all. And I know you depend on us, annually, to deliver only the best winter holiday songs about marijuana. Well, good news: we have not let you down. So grab some cookies, sit back, relax, and partake with us in "Cookie Doe" by Sly Til I Die featuring Woe and "Smoked Out Santa" by Big Freedia. The ranking music in this episode is "Make It Jingle" by Big Freedia.

Just in time for Easter, we're covering two Christmas songs that are, uh, maybe kind of appropriate? The first song is about death, but also kind of about everlasting life: "I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus This Year" by Brenda Ontko Boulton. The second song is about... well, birth on one level, and condoms on a much more literal level. It's "Condoms for Christmas" by Milo Bobbins and the Budget...

As the vernal equinox approaches in our hemisphere, we are saying goodbye to winter with two snow-themed songs! First, by listener request, we hear "50 Words for Snow" by Kate Bush -- a real arthouse-film of a song, complete with a beloved celebrity there to impart gravitas. We pair it with "Snobows" by Stan Beard and the Swinging Strings, which we are disappointed to report is NOT about the elbow...

Inspired by the approaching time change, we spring forward into two songs about winter sunlight and, specifically, Seasonal Affective Disorder. We expect a spooky twist from Lemon Demon's "SAD", but it mostly does what's written on the tin. There's also a literal story of SAD in Sunturns' "First Winter", but with layers of meaning and metaphor that give it the vibrancy of a sunrise. The ranking mu...

ERROR: WE RECORDED AFTER 8PM CAUTION: Only listen to year-round holiday podcasts from people you trust. Ian and Jam listened to two versions of a song called "S.A.N.T.A. Dot Com". Do you wish to proceed? DETAILS: The ranking music in this episode is "I'm Gonna E-Mail Santa" by Billy Gilman.

It's almost Family Day here in British Columbia, and to celebrate, we've got a tenuously connected episode theme! By request, we listen to "Christmas Must Be Tonight" as performed by SCALA and Kolacny Brothers, a song about the son of a carpenter. Then we pair it with "Let's Make a Baby King" by Wynnona Judd, a song about that same guy and also his mom and also his cousin, and also maybe the conce...

Of course we wouldn't let January pass us by without celebrating our second-most-cursed annual tradition, Grinch Rap Granuary! But, unfortunately, this is the last one. For real this time. We're scraping the bottom of the Grinch Rap barrel with "Like The Grinch" by Gucci Mane, so hopefully "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" by Pentatonix will be the stake in the heart that this thing requires. RIP Gr...

As the twelve days of Christmas come to a close once again, we're celebrating Epiphany with two songs about three men. By listener request, we check out "We Three Slow Kings" by Electric Santa, a song that may or may not be a joke, and "If I Were a Wise Man" by Flannel Graph, an undoubtedly sincere song with a familiar Sufjan-esque flavor. The ranking music in this episode is "Pocketful of Sunshin...

In this milestone episode, Jam and Ian add the 799th (???) and 800th (!!!) songs to HARK's massive, unruly list. Jam aims for the top of the list with a near-classic and the hosts talk about Jesus for a while, with just a liiiittle heresy (as a treat).  Then Ian uses his bottom pick to launch an exploratory mission into a new kind of bad song and raise some philosophical questions about the future...

Hanukkah is fast approaching! And to celebrate, we have two songs... well, OK. We have one song about Hanukkah, and one song about Not Christmas. "Chanukah in West Virginia" by Scott Simons wraps a somewhat sad sentiment in a cheerful package (for better or worse), while "Chinese Food on Christmas" by Brandon Walker is a thoroughly silly celebration of not celebrating. The ranking music in this ep...

You may be wondering why this episode is going up on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday. Well, first of all, it's technically still Wednesday in our time zone, and this episode is all about going local! And second... we are adjacent to the ball. In this episode, we're encouraging you to shop local, support Wikipedia, and listen along with us to two holiday-sweater-themed songs: "Ugly Xmas Sweater P...

It's Jam's birthday! To find out the first song they selected, go to Paragraph 2 (P2). To skip ahead to the ranking music, go to P5. P2: It was "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" by Fall Out Boy! For their second selection, they give Ian two options -- past or future. If you think he should choose "future", go to P3. If you prefer "past", go to P4. P3: Ian chose the same thing! And the song was, unfortunat...

It's that time again! Gut that pumpkin and fill it with eggnog, because we're listening to EVEN MORE Christmas/Halloween crossover songs. Not only have we not run out of these, we've still got a few that are, you know, not terrible! We start with "Spooky Halloween Chrismtas" by Giftshop and have to re-learn what psychobilly is, then get into a more familiar groove with "Halloween on Christmas" by...

After a short delay, we're back! And just in time, too. Because it's... the time of year... well, you get it. We are, after ten years of doing this dang show, finally covering "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams! And if you prefer the noodley 00s-era indie kinda bullshit we love to cover over the mid-century classics, you'll love "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" b...

We may never run out of holiday music, but sometimes we do run low on holidays that are funny to talk about. So in this episode, we're celebrating (by a loose definition of celebration) two holidays (by a loose definition of holiday) that fall on October 3rd, Mean Girls Day and National Boyfriend Day. First up, unpacking "Rocking Around the Pole" performed by the cast of the Mean Girls musical (Er...

Nah, just kidding, we're not starting another annual month-long theme. Can you imagine? I mean, sure, yes, we can imagine. But we've apparently run out of ska-punk Hanukkah songs already. Until someone proves us wrong on that (email requests to harkpodcast at gmail!!), we're making do with some ska/punk winter holiday songs that felt appropriate for the approaching Rosh Hashanah. We start off with...

Buckle up everyone, it's the final AGROBAR episode of 2025, and the guy that they put at the wheel for this one most definitely does not have a license. That's right, we're doing two Jesus-adjacent versions of GGROBAR! "Grandma Got Won Over by a Stranger" by ApologetiX might give you whiplash with its mix of goofy parody-of-a-parody sound and its needlessly dark subject matter. And listen all y'al...

Unforunately, our annual tradition is back! We once again listened to two "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"-related songs, this time exploring Dr. Elmo's own sequels, "Grandma's Spending Christmas With the Superstars" and "Grandpa's Going to Sue the Pants Off of Santa". We notice some issues, and pitch a ton of punch-ups. You're welcome! I feel compelled to include a content note that we talk a...

It's Ian's birthday, and he is over it! He has passed along his birthday-boy-song-picking duties to our backlog of listener requests. At least we got to listen to an "all time weirdo" track in "Happy Holiday/It's the Holiday Season" performed by Andy Williams, as well as identifying one of our pop culture blindspots in "Wintering" by The 1975. The ranking music in this episode is "December, foreve...

Before we can fully embrace the season, Ian and Jam need to turn in some overdue assignments. We finally listened to a few long-languishing requests, and this episode is our essay comparing and contrasting them! "Our Last Christmas" by Thor and "I'm Spending Christmas Alone" by Future Wife both seem like melancholy ruminations on paper, but there's more to interpret than at first glance. Grab your...