HARKpodcast

It's Jam from the present here. I've now gotten the tooth removed, so I'mma keep this short. The songs we listened to for this tooth-themed episode were "All I Want For Christmas is My Upper Plate" by Homer and Jethro and "Santa's False Teeth" by Saint Etienne. Also, it turns out teeth AREN'T bones, but they ARE skeleton. You learn something new every day. The ranking music is "My Shiny Teeth and...

Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, and basketballers are basketballing. Listen, Ian knows what NBA event aligns with the release of this episode, but he's in the other room and I'm on my own here. I'm gonna say the finals? Anyway, we celebrate with two bouncy Christmas tunes: "Christmas Slam Dunk" by Hot Dad and "Baby Wants a Basketball for Christmas" by The Living Sisters. Enjoy the part w...

What makes someone goth? Is it wearing lots of black eyeliner? Or is it spending a lot of time thinking about what a good ghost you'd be? Hopefully it's both, because we're recognizing World Goth Day by listening to two versions of eyeliner-loving Finnish band Hanoi Rocks's "Dead By X-Mas". First we tackle the 1980s original, and then hear the '00s update by Sohodolls. A content note: self-harm an...

In honour of World Migratory Bird Day, we're listening to two songs about birds! And also, Christmas! "The Gift" by Garth Brooks definitely has a bird in it, but beyond that, offers more questions than answers. "Christmas is For the Birds" by Conway Twitty and, uh, "His Little Friends", has a decent amount of answers, and a decent amount of birds, but a distressingly low amount of Conway Twitty. T...

As May approaches, we're celebrating... May, I guess? May. Christmas songs that mention May? Yes. And no, not "May your days be merry and bright". We're talking MONTH OF MAY ONLY. First up (appropriately enough) is "First of May" by The Bee Gees. Then we hear the endearingly baffling "When Was Jesus Born?" by Lil Gee (no relation). The ranking music in this episode is "First of May" by Jonathan Co...

It's that time of year again! And for this rare holiday equinox which sees Easter, Passover, and 4/20 overlapping, we endeavor to cover some weed-tacular winter holiday songs with more of a religious connection than in previous years. We find great joy in the sincere silliness of "Little Dealer Boy" performed by Willie Nelson and Stephen Colbert. Then, unfortunately, we really fucked up by listeni...

Blobby blobby blobby blobby! Blobby blobby? ...Blobby. Blobby blobby blobby! ...Nah, just kidding. But we did listen to "Christmas in Blobbyland" by Mr. Blobby and friends, followed by "Cheeky Christmas" by the Cheeky Girls. See ya at Nandos, I guess! The ranking music in this episode is "Brodyquest" by Neil Cicerega. Thank you to Liam for these requests!

Let's get existential up in here!!! In this episode, we discuss two bummer songs beautifully delivered: "Christmas Eve Can Kill You" by the Everly Brothers, followed by "Christmas Will Break Your Heart" by LCD Soundsystem. The ranking music in this episode is "Daft Punk Is Playing At My House" by LCD Soundsystem.

International Women's Day is right around the corner, and in this episode, women are taking the mic! Uh, a few women, anyway. Performing a pretty specific sub-category of songs. And they are all from the same one country. Regardless!! First, by request, we listen to "Merry Christmas Everybody", a cover of Slade's Christmas hit performed by Sohodolls. We pair it with another woman vocalist covering...

Valentine's Day is almost here, and we're celebrating! Uh, sort of? Most importantly, the songs are good. They're decent. Give them a chance. In fact, "Christmas Baby" by Infinity Song is practically begging to be given a chance, for better or worse. If second chances (or lack thereof) are more your thing, try our next selection, "We Should Be Together" by Rosie Thomas and Sufjan Stevens. This is...

As Groundhog Day approaches, we recognize the cultural association of the holiday with the concept of repetition and take some repeat requester's requests! The two songs suggested by longtime listener Liam present us with two distinct flavours -- though both are very much of the year 2020, and both come to us from Scottish artists. "Humans Are Not Worth Saving" by Michael M is a catchy little pop-...

I don't want to mislead you. We don't actually have any Dragonball Z related holiday hip-hop songs to cover. Sorry. To be clear: we're very, very open to theming an annual celebration around them if you find any! For now, all we have is "Grinch" by Jae Wes, followed by "Grinch Rap (Santa Diss)" by Ess. The ranking music in this episode is, of course, "Grinch 2000" by Jim Carrey and Busta Rhymes.

It's our first annual, definitely real and permanent, mark-it-on-your-calendar-for-January-2026 feature: Danuary, a celebration of singer-songwriter Dan Wilson! You might know him (and love him) from his band Semisonic (FYI, all of Feeling Strangely Fine slaps, not just "Closing Time", and you should revisit it), but did you know he's written lots of songs for other artists? Learn this and more in...

Our 2024 milestone episode is here! Aiming to hit the highest of holiday highs, Ian tries to select something dear to Jam's heart, but may have miscalculated. Looking for the worst of the worst, Jam does a bad music cram-session and comes up with something properly bad  but also slightly inscrutable. The ranking music in this episode is "Together At Christmas" performed by Kermit the Frog and the...

It's almost Saint Nicholas Day, which means it's almost our anniversary, which means it's almost Krampusnacht! We're celebrating with two songs about Krampus. More specifically, we're celebrating with two songs about being a horny little freak for Krampus. Sometimes that's just how episode themes shake out, you know? First up is the campy parody "Krampus Daddy" by Jinkx Monsoon, followed by the ch...

With just a few short weeks until the winter holidays hit, Jam and Ian forgo Christmas music to instead ponder some questions posed by the most existential of winter symbols: snowpeople. Instead of reminding us of the inevibility of death, these snow-person songs ask us to ponder why we project our own cultural hegemonic order onto three balls of snow with some sticks in them. That's the theme! Cu...

It's time to celebrate what is surely the most important and impactful event happening this week: Jam's birthday! That means it's BIRTHDAY BOI'S CHOICE time, and they have chosen two songs from our favourite difficult-to-search British electro-pop charity-Christmas-single-producing duo, Christmas Aguilera! Our discussion of "Santa's Car" accidentally turns into a bit of a book report comparing and...

It's Halloween and we're taking some EXTRA SPOOKY* requests! Two tracks off of the Psychobilly Christmas compilation album - "Halloween on X-Mas" by The Coffin Caddies and "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by The White Coffin Terror - attempt to inject some frights into the festive, but do they succeed? And isn't there anyone who can tell Ian what psychobilly is all about?? *Spookiness results may vary...

Sometimes, when you do a year-round holiday music review podcast for nine years, you pitch a ridiculous idea and you kinda just gotta trust the process. We're celebrating the fact that "Oct" sounds a little bit like "croc" with two crocodile-themed song selections! "Merry Christmas Baby (Please Don't Die)" by Crocodiles and Dum Dum Girls wraps a gloomy sentiment in a cheerful (if somewhat hushed)...

Listen, at the time of this recording, Sabrina Carpenter's album WAS at the top of the charts. She's still near the top! Top-ish! WE REMAIN RELEVANT In this episode, we discuss Sabrina Carpenter's 2022 Christmas track (and soon-to-be basis of a Netflix special, apparently) "A Nonsense Christmas", followed by the circa-2015 "Christmas the Whole Year Round". Join us as we celebrate Carpenter's music...

It's back to school season and we're back to taking listener requests! That's not really the theme of the episode, but it is true. This week we cover two listener requests for two versions of the same song! First up, we listen to "Nothing But a Child" as performed by Robin and Linda Williams for the Prairie Home Christmas compilation album or audiobook or live broadcast or whatever the case may ac...

Hey, listen. As I'm writing this, Ian and Jam are both very jetlagged. They don't remember why they thought covering these songs would be fun. It was a nightmare. August Got Run Over By a Reindeer is a nightmare in general. But hopefully, that's fun for you, the listener. In honour of the Election Year (and because we gotta cover these versions of GGROBAR eventually), we listened to "Obama Got Run...

Savor with us, won't you, the delectable second year of August Got Run Over By a Reindeer? The second year is the brief stage of a made-up tradition in which we could, if we had better judgment, back out: haha, that sure was a funny joke we made last year, an annual month of Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer related songs! By the third year, we'll be in too deep; listener expectations will force...

It's been almost a year, and the time has come. In August of 2023, Ian was incorrect about something. More incorrect than we usually are about things on this podcast. And so, we attempt to set things right by giving ska its due. Our ska education starts with Al and the Vibrators' "Merry Christmas", followed by Toots and the Maytals' "Christmas Feeling Ska". The ranking music in this episode is "Po...

Ian's birthday has us pondering important questions, including: What does the early 00s sound like? Are British people more excited out of their gourds about Christmas than North Americans? And, perhaps most importantly, am I The Guy Who Sucks? We also listen to two versions of "I Wish It Was Christmas Today", one performed by Julian Casablancas and one performed by Cheap Trick! The ranking clip i...