Happy Hour: The Definitive 7th Heaven Walkthrough

Send us Fan Mail This week on the podcast, we discuss the infamous paint huffing episode. Simon is a snitch, Matt is in a sandwich delivering Groundhog's day, Ruthie makes a beautiful sculpture, and Mary continues to be a bad bitch. Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp

Send us Fan Mail This week we discuss an episode about: teen girls excluding, elementary girls excluding, Simon moping over Captain Crunch, Mary moping over exclusion, and Matt being the worst at dating Shauna. Also, the complete non sequitur of a Japanese internment camp reparation money plot. We drank: Austin Eastciders Blood Orange Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy Check us out on Discord: https...

Send us Fan Mail This week on the cast, part two of Mary's transgressions as she faces the consequences of her gym trashing. Simon and Ruthie visit three different houses of worship and learn essentially nothing, Matt continues to be a bummer, and we find out Lucy is in fact running all of Glen Oak High. This week Greg drank some Trader Joes Red Ale beer. Check us out on Discord: https://disc...

Send us Fan Mail This week on the cast: controversy begins as Mary's basketball season is cancelled due to poor grades, Matt comes up with every excuse under the sun for why he needs to come home and help his family, and Simon gets in big trouble for something that does not matter in the least. Lucy is in this episode too, but we don't understand why. We Drank: Right Proper - Senate Beer...

Send us Fan Mail We're back with improved sound, thanks for waiting! This week we discuss an episode about how all women are crazy, namely a very pregnant Aunt Julie. Also, Simon almost gets picked up by a 25 year old at the pool hall, Ruthie has another secret animal plot, and Lucy learns about the perils of heteronormative dating tropes. This week we drank the Right Proper variety pack Chec...

Send us Fan Mail NOTE: Still working through sound issues, a new computer has not fixed the issue and it is intermittent, we believe it may be the mics themselves. Thanks for your patience! This week on the show - Matt reevaluates his life path after talking to "Zen Master" hospital patient Adam, Mary feels left out from hectic bathroom renovations, Eric almost doesn't get his annua...

Send us Fan Mail This week - more feminism! We sure learned a lot about the Taliban. Plus Simon is too good at cooking . . . and that's a problem, Ruthie is a beast on the grid iron, and some misogynist Christian men are too much, even for Eric.  This week we drank Pacifico from the bottle, because it was what I could reach on the shelf. Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp

Send us Fan Mail We dive into the second episode of season 4, which is a lot of nothing until Eric reveals cosmic details about his near death experience. Also, Simon tries to be man of the house in Matt's absence (annoying Simon is back!), Lucy decides she's quite content on the high school's "B List", and John continues to be a good friend to Matt even though he doesn&ap...

Send us Fan Mail Hello loyal listeners and welcome to Season 4, finally! The tone has changed, the hair has changed, the Colonel has changed - it's a whole new world. However some things are immutable - like classic 7th Heaven bedroom exchanges, Annie being unreasonable, and Eric being stressed about his job. This week Greg drank Teddy's Strawberry and Cream soda. Check us out on Discord...

Send us Fan Mail Season 3 finally comes to an end as we finish up Part II of the finale. The longest day ever reveals that Matt loves Shauna, Simon loves french kissing, Ruthie loves occult ritual, and Aunt Julie can't decide if she loves Dr. Hastings. Jordan is still here giving out bits of wisdom, unfortunately, and Annie still hasn't gotten laid. Onward to Season 4! This week Greg dra...

Send us Fan Mail We dive into Part 1 of the Season 3 finale! No one has planned a single element of Heather's impending wedding, although it is only 48 hours away. Matt is asked to play usher, something his girlfriend hates, while Ruthie vengefully curses the affair using her time-bending abilities. Mary is secretly "playing basketball" with Jordan, as Simon manages a tricky situati...

Send us Fan Mail In this special snow day broadcast, we tackle a bizarro episode featuring elderly dogs and dog spirit metaphysics, Simon's special French restaurant date, buddy cop time with Matt and Sgt Michaels, and more Michael Towner shenanigans. This week we drank Reyka Icelandic Vodka with South Korea's own "WaterUp Melon" soda. Check us out on Discord: https://discord.g...

Send us Fan Mail We are rounding the corner on the end of Season 3, but first another wacky one. Rudy the custodian is talking to god, which brings up some interesting questions about the mechanics of divine will and fate that the show never even attempts to address. While Eric is distracted with Rudy, Annie sneaks off to the pool hall to down way too many Diet Cokes with her girlfriends. Ruthie i...

Send us Fan Mail Oh boy, we ring in the New Year with this very special anti-MeToo episode. The President of Matt's university is embroiled in a scandal (sleeping with a student) that has the Camdens taking sides. There is only one side, strangely. Also, hijinks ensue when Mrs. Hinkle helps Simon and Ruthie collect from their delinquent newspaper route subscriber. It's not one you will w...

Send us Fan Mail On the cast this week, another Season 3 episode of complete time wasting as the babies continue to be annoying, yet are visited by a barrage of house guests. Some of them want a divorce and chaos ensues. Also, Matt tries to join the army to get out from under Eric's  control, Simon worries his luck is dwindling, and Mary and Lucy almost get themselves killed over some lying b...

Send us Fan Mail Note: Don't be alarmed, we will be switching back to a bi-weekly format from this point. Thanks to all our dedicated listeners! This week, we are back from Thanksgiving festivities to discuss a real Season 3 stand-out. The theme is "paranoia" as Eric worries he is being replaced at work, Lucy assumes Jimmy Moon is headed down a path of hard weed-selling, and Simon t...

Send us Fan Mail In short, do not watch this unless you love the sounds of constant screaming. If you do, just skip to the Mary and Matt parts. On to the next one. This week Greg was double fisting a Strawberry Milkshake and Coors Banquet. Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp

Send us Fan Mail This week on the cast: Annie finally gives birth and it is terribly anticlimactic. Mary is not the woman we thought she was. Simon hits puberty like a brick wall and is becoming a grown man. The Matt needle-phobia plot repeats. It's real bad. This week we drank: Guinness from a nitro can (not a real pint). Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp

Send us Fan Mail Now this is some classic 7th Heaven nonsense. The Camden twins are on the way so everyone has jobs, except Lucy who is mysteriously away at a camp of one. Ruthie picks a fight with a whole family of neighbors, while Morgan, Matt, Eric, and John meet with the world's worst restaurant, and a gaggle of irritating church ladies take over the house. Plus old ladies robotripping. T...

Send us Fan Mail This week we mostly enjoy another filler episode. The theme is forgiveness, or redemption, or something else probably. Matt stalks Heather, Simon almost ruins his friendship with Nigel, Mary's craving male attention, and Rod's mom sadly passes away. Despite being an ok episode, not much to say again. This week Greg drank a wild cherry Pepsi. Check us out on Discord: http...

Send us Fan Mail This week, it's time for a terrible filler episode. The theme is, crying to get what you want, being really annoying to your grown sister, leukemia, and why sometimes women are turned on and sometimes aren't. Idk, we didn't have much to say about this mess - see you next time. We pre-gamed this episode with some Silver Branch pilsner. Check us out on Discord: https:...

Send us Fan Mail It's Christmas already in Glen Oak, and Eric has plans to voluntell the Camdens what to do: Mary is off to the soup kitchen, Matt plays mall Santa, and Lucy runs auditions for the live nativity scene. All of this goes essentially nowhere, as Eric and Annie get caught up in peddling their favorite objects to buy more stuff for each other. Also some cute guy named Carlos shows...

Send us Fan Mail This week on the cast, it's a "plot" about the birds and the bees featuring the world's most nonsensical college course and Lucy's extremely unhealthy attitudes towards men. Plus, Simon learns some hard lessons about the perils of  babysitting the ever-devious Ruthie. This week we drank: mediocre variety pack beers. Check us out on Discord: https://discord...

Send us Fan Mail Addiction is the topic of this week's episode, mostly uppers! Simon drinks a single cup of coffee and is ruined for life, Ruthie's bit is barely related to the plot again, Matt gets some library pills, and Diane nearly dies from the same. This week Greg drank some blue berry lemonade :) Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp

Send us Fan Mail Wow, what a doozy this one is. Gun violence in schools, Lucy's secret BDSM fantasies, Mary dating a pinball machine assaulter, and Ruthie being as annoying as always. Also something extremely dramatic and unexpected we won't spoil for you here! This week we drank Rothhaus and Chang beer. Check us out on Discord: https://discord.gg/5JVVYpPPcp