Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures

Kevin's amazing week culminates in the purchase of the vehicle of his dreams. An exploration of the dietary habits of the urban crow. Cholesterol. Cargo shorts. The etiquette of letting someone know you went fishing without them. Enjoy! 

Nature has many beautiful surprises... this is not one of them. Just when we thought we'd hit rock bottom, we find a shovel. This weeks topics include Hippos, working on the river, mini van alternatives and Hank's better than a rooftop tent idea. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Hank is flying solo this week! Kick back and enjoy some deep, not so intellectual, rousing, energetic thoughts on 25 cent Schaeffer Lights, 2 liter bottles of Sunshine Orange Blast Wine Coolers, Rooftop tents, the Taco Bell app, Mini Vans and Kevin's life as a Fragile Indoorsman.  Enjoy! Hambone! 

Coordinated squirrel attacks, laying around in an MRI machine, smothering steaks, fully loadin' baked taters and a rousing conversation about golf - a sure fire way ruin a perfectly nice day in the outdoors. Fore! Enjoy! 

I knew the title, the minute I heard these words uttered on this weeks episode. This week Alex and I are talking safety in the Grand Canyon, where to clean out a barrel, snake charming and much much more. Enjoy! -Hank

Finally, a Hank Patterson recommended books to read episode! But before we get to the literature, we'll be treated to stories of bears biting butts in outhouses, how to cook spaghetti on a stick and much much more. ENJOY! 

Here's an episode chock full of sophomoric humor that we should apologize for. Parachuting Beavers, Leeches on your nether regions and a dumpin' of snow all come together to form yet another super awesome episode. Enjoy! 

If you plan to get lost in the forest anytime soon, here's an episode full of ideas on how you can stay lost. This won't help you find your way home, but it'll help you enjoy the harrowing experience. Hambone! FlapJack! Compass! Enjoy! 

You hear about the rare wolverine in Yellowstone? You're about too. What are some good reasons to cheat at fly fishing? We'll let you know. How can you cheat? We'll let you know that too. Looking to listen to pure nonsense? We got your back. Hambone! Enjoy! 

How prepared are you to head for the hills in a moments notice? How ill prepared are your friends? Are you prepped for a week of camping, a day of fishing, a weekend of skiing, fifty years in a bunker? Learn more or less or absolutely nothing in this weeks episode. Enjoy! Hambone! 

Mousetraps, matching socks, ferrets, rats, forked tongues and a rousing conversation about the difference between pets and an animal prisoners....  Listen with your dog! Enjoy! 

Hello Everyone! Unfortunately we're not able to bring you a new episode this week. Hank is sick and unable to record. That said, he's home cuddling his favorite blanky, complaining a lot and drinking vitamin C infused beers. We're sure to be back next week! Hambone! 

Happy New Year and Happy New Beer everyone! Here's the kick off to season three. Raccoons in Christmas trees, $700 ski pants, resolutions to steer clear of and much much more. Hambone! Jammies! Enjoy! 

Season 2's finale is a not so extravagant Hank Patterson Holiday Extravaganza! If you're looking for a list of things not to purchase the outdoor human in your life or advice on what to pay for a dog, this is the episode for you. Thanks for a super successful season two! Happy Holidaze! Enjoy.

Here's a super awesome episode about Kangaroo Island, Pygmy Possums, imitation vanilla, a surprising fact about beavers and the multitude of things Hank's lost in the wilderness. Enjoy!

A man's puppy pulled from the jaws of an alligator, delicious snack crackers, a haystack tarp cover you won't want to miss and an assortment of products you might have forgotten existed. Enjoy! 

This week Hank & Kevin drone on and on about climbing mountains, missing hook sets, chrome water & tiny flies, how dirty is too dirty when it comes to your truck, losing your pride, a little ditty 'bout Rick and Monica and where to find the silver lining in you outdoor misadventures.  Enjoy! 

Before digging into the always controversial topic of "hot spotting" (aka "sharing info. on where you were fishing or hunting") Hank and Kevin chat about how to infuse a whole new flavor into your chicken and the importance of keeping your dog away from your gun. It's a whole lot of nonsense... We promise! Enjoy! 

Fear Factor delicacies, sugar junky monkey gangs, exotic pet petting zoos and the life cycle of the common fly fisher...  This one's a doozy. Enjoy! 

This week takes us on a random journey of topics including Hank cancelling his gym membership, another in a long list of why you shouldn't play golf, Shiela's pet deer and a dedication to all the sad sack, unsuccessful hunters and fishers and much much more. Enjoy!

Words of wisdom... Will likely not be uttered in this episode. Hank makes friends with a skunk, drowns his phone in the river, considers a lawn mowing career, reminds us all that "it ain't the gears fault" and advises us where you can find the most reliable outdoor gear for your next trip. Enjoy! 

Here's more information about the mating habits of the porcupine than you should ever need, along with a solid reason to never job in Utah, how to make an award winning cobbler and finally a deep, meaningful, transcendental, life affirming conversation about the finite nature of life and how it effects our outdoor adventures. Enjoy!

You won't want to miss parts of this one! Corporate golden parachutes, bears recycling, Grizzly Prints, Hank's week at a VRBO in Island Park, Idaho and finally some insight into the etiquette of inviting and being invited on a fishing trip. Hambone! FlapJack! 

So you want to be a mountain man...  Join Hank and Kevin for a conversation about Dan Haggerty's beard, the real Jeremiah Johnson, liver recipes, ornery mules, Mt. Man hygiene, The Revenant and other complete nonsense. 

Grab your clipboard and a ballpoint pen, Hank's got his Life Coach hat on and is ready to impart some sure fire career advice you won't find anywhere else. The rest of the show is spent discussing miracle python spawn, rabbit predators, a Montana campground escapee and the Twilight Zone. It's a hot mess of randomness. Enjoy!