Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures

Hold on tight, Hank's about to launch into a rant about airline travel, the importance of being kind and the difference betwixt going on a vacation and going on an adventure.  Hambone! Snap It! Enjoy.

This week Kevin and Hank continue their quest to teach you absolutely nothing about absolutely nothing while talking about practically nothing. That nothing includes dirt road etiquette, hair dye advertising and a search party story fit for a feature film. Hambone! Enjoy! 

Aspiring to live in a van down by the river? Here are a few things to consider when designing your conversion van according to a couple half wits (Hank & Kevin) who know absolutely nothing about it. As always, this one promises very little educational value! We promise. Hambone! FlapJacks! Enjoy. 

This week Hank is joined by his buddy Jake to talk all about a sneezing issue, the many excuses for not catching fish and superstitions. Hambone! Enjoy.

With Hank out fishing and likely not catching and Kevin home sick with a blanket and a shot glass of Nyquil, we've decided to take the week off and share one of our favorite episodes from way back in good ol'. 2020.  If you enjoyed it before, you're sure to enjoy it again.  Fire up the essential oils, here we go!  

The intelligence of the common trout, the intelligence of the common fly fisher, living in hobbit holes, the benefits and drawbacks of walnuts and much more nonsense make up this weeks episode. Pop a beverage and enjoy! 

The name says it all! Here's an episode all about bat guano, ghost hunters, terrible restaurants, the Indiana serial pooper and the origins of cooking. Enjoy! 

Here's an episode all about cows attacking beach combers, sun bathing at dairy farms, the health benefits of not doing a Triathalon, befriending chimpanzees and all the things you forgot to remember to take camping.... Enjoy! 

Hank's back from Alaska, sleep deprived and ready to drone on and on about the beauty of being off the grid and out of your comfort zone. But before all that, a little bit of information and likely misinformation about the history of Alaska becoming a state. Don't take notes, it's likely all wrong. Hambone! Enjoy! 

It all begins with some super sweet whistling. You're welcome. From there we're onto motivational meme's, the Olympics, swimming and a whole new way to up your fireside cooking game! Hank in there everyone! Enjoy! 

This week, Hank and Kevin are talking sharks, smoking toad venom, the importance of skipping school and shoulder season. Enjoy! 

Hank's on his high horse this week sharing his profound thoughts on being a good neighbor, testing meth on trout, lazy alligators and much much more. Thankfully, Kevin's around to keep Hank from going too far off the rails. Enjoy! Be Kind To Others! Hambone! 

Looking to learn some valuable lessons about the the great outdoors? Keep on scrolling! No learnin' here. Looking to laugh at complete outdoor nonsense? Hit the play button! This week we're talkin' gators, Kevin and the kids pond fishing, a sure way to shut down a water slide reality TV show and much much more. Enjoy! 

The best time of year not to jog, beer belly t-shirts, cooling off in Lake Tahoe, grillin', catching fish, bailing on a bear hunt and more. Enjoy! 

The fragile indoorsman returns for an episode all about bringing a dog to breakfast, bears and wolves taking over the world and the most likely animal to kill you in your home state. Enjoy! 

Among other nonsense and hilarity, this week Hank is talking about harvesting lobsters, keeping an eye out for humpback whales, people watching at the mall, a great place to get inside in West Yellowstone, Newsies the musical and running into a parade on the river. Enjoy! 

The episode title says it all! Here's a not so deep dive into the worth of whale vomit, when to purchase used outdoor gear, rattle snake anatomy and my sisters shrewd Grand Canyon observations.  ENJOY!   

Here's an episode that's not even an episode.... An episode about not having an episode and more. An episode that explores when not to look for a bargains, mosquito soap drawbacks and the difference between a novel, novella and short story.  Listen twice in case you miss the many profound metaphors. Enjoy!

Previously on Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures, a bunch of randomness. On this weeks episode learn nearly nothing about electric mountain bikes, nothing but the bagel spice, sriracha bbq sauce, how not to catch a mirror carp and more! Enjoy! 

Wild boar gangs in Italy, calculated Beaver attacks in Canada, hippie cicadas high on shrooms... The great outdoors are crazy and this episode is right there with 'em! Enjoy!

Another step into the weirdness of the great outdoors and the creatures who live there. Sasquatch murder, Mosquitoes saving the rain forest and the etiquette of tipping your guide.  Hambone! Flapjack! Enjoy.

Hank has Alex back on the show this week to discuss a subject she knows very well...  How to pull off the perfect tent heist. Along with tent thievery, they'll be chatting about things not to do with barbecue tongs, rattle snake long tongin' and the best cereal for camping. Enjoy!  

Baby news. Colonoscopy updates. An in depth discussion on the purpose of mosquitoes. Corn fields. Pythons. Wind for the win! Here's an hour of hilarity you do not want to miss! Hambone! Enjoy.

Among other nonsense, Hank & Kevin discuss the benefits of owning a good bear suit, Hank's upcoming colonoscopy, preparing for rain, snow, hot, cold and how wind ruins everything. If you got plans to get outdoors anytime soon, you won't want to miss this or any other episode! Hambone! Get Your Colonoscopy! Enjoy. 

Here's a nearly full hour of nearly five minutes of useful outdoor advice for anyone heading out camping for the very first time! Grab a pen and a post it note and get ready to take three or four notes. Skunks. Urinating on fires. Turning over in a sleeping bag. Sharp jagged rocks. The likelihood of being surrounded by a wolf pack. And MUCH MORE on this weeks episode. ENJOY!