Habits for Your Happily Ever After: Relationship Communication Advice

You make assumptions. You want your partner to change. What if I told you the reason you do these things is romantic? Today, we talk about two main elements I see that make it difficult to stay in your own business : Blending and judging. We talk about how the feeling of oneness you have with your sweetheart creates confusion and makes it hard to stay in your own business. We'll talk about why jud...

I'm launching a new relationship book club. SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER so you'll receive the link to sign up straight to your inbox. I love a good book club—and I especially love reading books about relationship. So I decided, why not invite all of you to join me? If you're interested in meeting with me to discuss relationship books, make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter. That’s where I’ll...

Are you often tempted to enter your spouse’s experience? This can look like judgment: “He should brush his teeth.” “She should find a new job.” Or blending: “He doesn’t tell me he loves me.” “She never appreciates me.” When you have these thoughts–or speak them aloud–you are in your partner’s business. And that doesn’t bring you closer, it pushes your partner away. Today, we talk about the single...

Do you ever say “yes” to something even, when exhausted or depleted? We’ve all experienced these moments–for some reason or another, you overcommit even when you don't have the capacity—and your whole day seems to spiral from there. What if instead, you responded based on how you were feeling? If you were honest with yourself and others about the energy you have? Today, I’m joined by a dear friend...

Has your sweetheart ever looked at you in a way that made you flush? You felt overwhelmed by the love. So much so, that you looked away? Deep love can carry deep pain with it: maybe because we fear we'll lose that love we value, or because we wonder if we're worthy. Today, my guest, Dr. Diana Hill, tells a story about a time her husband was trying to see her and it caused her pain. When we allow o...

Do you and your partner argue about money? This is a common topic of conflict because it is so closely tied to our values. When you and your partner have different ideas about how to spend--or save--your money, communication about your finances can quickly turn into an argument. In this episode, you’ll hear how a conversation about money can bring you closer to your partner when you improve your c...

“I’m hurting too” Has your partner said this to you and you didn’t hear it? Isn’t it amazing how blinding pain can be? And how self absorbing it is? This week, my guest from last week, Jen Price, returns with a story about the second time in her long marriage that pain threatened the connection she had with her husband: Jen talks about the identity crisis she endured when she dropped her youngest...

Sometimes you’re not capable of paying attention to how your actions impact your partner, especially when you’re in pain–physically or emotionally.  What can you lay to rest so that the impact of your pain doesn't hurt your relationships? Or how can you lessen the damage?  Today, we discuss the impact of chronic pain on your relationship. You’ll hear from my guest and yoga teacher, Jen P...

How do you know if you’re making the right decisions and choices as a parent? And how do you deal with decision fatigue in a way that is supportive—instead of destructive—to your relationship? Parenting is confusing. There’s a million decisions every day:  Where’s the magic spot between healthy food and the food my child will eat? How do I make sense of all the contradictions in the world of...

What is that gesture from your partner that makes you feel taken care of or pampered? Have you ever felt like that gesture was a radical departure from the rest of your disposition? NaTasha Richburg feels loved when her husband carries her luggage. This shocked me because my guest today is wildly independent. Yet this gesture on her husband’s part makes her feel feminine and cared for.  NaTas...

How do you cultivate the 3 different roles of Partner, Lover, and Friend in your singular relationship? Summer tends to fly by, and it’s easy to find yourself swept up in the busyness. Suddenly it's September, and you realize you haven’t truly connected with your sweetheart. When you intentionally find time for each other, even in small ways, your relationship will grow stronger. Today, I’m offeri...

Why did it seem so easy to make friends in kindergarten? And how do you make a new friend now that you’re an adult? In kindergarten it was easy. Certainly easier. First of all, children that age haven’t yet faced rejection, so they aren’t scared to simply speak their mind, “Want to be my friend?” Secondly, there were a whole bunch of kids and there was recess. There was a designated time to play w...

When your toddler loses it, it’s tempting for you to lose it too, right? If your kid grabs a toy away from their sibling, do you grab the toy away and say, “We don’t grab things!” We’ve all done it, right? Today I talk with Audra Rutnik who helps us understand behavior differently. She fixes behavior at the source: where information is processed. And she’ll help you identify the clues to your chil...

Ever wonder HOW I wrote a book titled “6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication?” Short answer: I failed. A LOT. Today, I bring you an interview I did on the podcast, Emerging Form , with Christie Aschwanden and Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer .  You’ll get an introduction to the podcast and the two amazing hosts, and you’ll get to hear me talk about my book from a different perspective. How to FAI...

Where does happiness come from? My father is responsible for teaching me how to be happy. He didn’t wait for happiness to find him. He was a happiness magician.  Is there a place in your life where you are regularly afraid, sad, or lonely? Today, I want to show you how to invite happiness into that place. I’m sharing my father’s lessons so you can find your own happiness handles as you swing...

You want sparkling summer memories. What’s the key ingredient to a summer filled with lasting family memories? Everyone needs to be having fun. Everyone. And that includes you. Today, we’re talking about how to make your summer memorable. We’ll talk about inexpensive ways to have fun with your kids, and why YOUR happiness is very important when it comes to establishing family traditions. Habit for...

You were feeling fine—until you saw your friend's vacation photos. When you compare, you don’t just lose confidence—you lose connection, too. We’ve all done it. We’ve all looked at social media and seen the vacation someone else is taking and we think, “I want her life. She’s got it figured out.” It's the easiest thing in the world to do. It’s also a joy-stealer and a resentment-builder. Today, we...

Do you ever feel lonely in your romantic relationship? Like you're more roommates than lovers? What's the impact of small bits of affection on your relationship? And what happens when the tenderness disappears? Have you ever been afraid your partner doesn't love you anymore because the tender touches have disappeared? We'll discuss why this happens and what you can do to bring the tenderness back....

What does it feel like inside of you when your partner says a genuine “Thank you?” Today, we discuss why it can be tricky and vulnerable to let the words, “Thank you,” settle all the way into your heart.  I’ll offer you a habit and a discussion prompt to help open your heart to truly receive the gratitude that is everywhere just waiting to land in your lap And you’ll learn how appreciating yo...

Have you ever considered how a simple "thank you" could transform your relationship? I've been watching people's relationships since my parents divorced when I was five years old. During those decades of observation, I’ve observed a handful of habits that work over and over. Today's episode focuses on one of those habits. It's all about the magic of thank you.  I'm bringing this episode back...

What would change in your relationship if you gave yourself permission to say YES to what you desire? As you listen today, ask yourself, “What does my sweetheart NOT KNOW about me? What am I holding back because I’m afraid? If I allowed myself to simply say YES and give myself permission to ask my sweetheart for my truest desires, what would my sweetheart know about me that they don’t know today?”...

When you "win" an argument, your relationship loses. We all do it. We all want to be "right" and we want to prove our partner "wrong." I loved this discussion. It's filled with all the rotten things we're tempted to say to our partner, and why all those jabs get in the way of what we really want: intimacy and a feeling of safety. Learn how to use nonviolent communication and protect your relations...

How do you and your partner share the ick that comes with living life? If you loved me…you’d eat my sh*t sandwich. We got this map from our parents who were willing to change our diaper, clean up our messes, and cook all our meals. But this expectation—that true love=eating life’s sh*t sandwiches—will surely kill your romance. Today, we discuss sh*t sandwiches and how they can pollute your relatio...

You have needs. Your partner has needs. Your relationship has needs. How do you balance it all? Today, we discuss the power of a habit so tiny it becomes invisible. We’ll talk about why you don’t need to put “brush your teeth” onto your daily to-do list Then we’ll contrast that with the multiple priorities you juggle causing you to feel overwhelmed Finally, I’ll help you identify a relationship ha...

I’m celebrating my 100th podcast episode! This is a huge milestone in the world of podcasting. Less than 5% of podcasts reach their 100th episode. I hope you’ll celebrate with me. In this episode, we’ll revisit several habits from guests I’ve had on in the past 2 years, so you’ll have a handful of hacks to help you create your happily ever after. You’ll hear: A habit to help you remember to give y...