Habits for Your Happily Ever After: Relationship Communication Advice

Have you ever hid your joy because, if you let the world see that you’re happy, no one will believe how hard you’re working as a parent? In your career?  You can hear everyone around you suffering from mom-guilt, and you just don’t buy in. Of course you’re overwhelmed at times, but you aren’t afraid to take time for your own self-care. You wish other women would do the same. Today’s guest is...

It’s hard to find a work-life balance as a new parent. How can you raise your child according to your values while also maintaining your sanity as a person? You’re juggling it all. And the cost is your sanity. But, there’s no ball you truly want to drop. There is no balance in this work-life balance. Everything is cattywampus.  I’m going to suggest that, if this sounds like you, maybe there i...

Everyone parents according to different values. What values influence the choice to be a stay-at-home mom? Of course you get bored playing with kids. How many times are you supposed to find it fascinating to make the dinosaur leap on the tower to knock it down? Stay-at-home parenting doesn’t mean play-at-home parenting. My guest today, Faye Tidd, was an elementary school teacher for 12 years befor...

A bad apology adds another layer of damage. Have you ever had your sweetheart “apologize” for how they hurt you, but instead of feeling better, you feel worse? If you struggle with apologies: either giving or receiving, today’s podcast episode is for you: We'll revisit the 4 step to a good apology You'll hear examples of lousy apologies to help you spot your own bad habits I’ll offer you a date ni...

When your job is emotionally taxing, how do you keep your relationship safe?  My podcast guest today, Mitch Brooks, is a firefighter and parametric who responds to S.W.A.T. calls. You can imagine that’s a pretty stressful job, but he didn’t think he was bringing that stress home until one day when he stepped on a half-melted ice cube and he completely lost it. Why it took his wife, Michelle,...

Passion fades when The Lover starves. Desire needs attention. This week we plan a date night for The Lover in your relationship    Most people focus on the activity for their date night. While activity matters far more for The Lover Role than either Partner or Friend, I’m still going to invite you to start with a dream. What do you want this date to do for your relationship? If you’...

Dreams. Heartache. Drama. Companionship. The Friend Role shapes your love–how will you nurture it with your date night? If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know that I believe there are three roles inside your singular relationship: Partner , Friend , and Lover . The Partner helps you ACHIEVE and you feel bonded as teammates. The Friend understands you and, thus, you feel like...

The wrong date night can cause more conflict, but an effective date night bonds you. So how do you know what to choose when you’re planning your date night? It’s important to create “dates” that nourish the complexity in your relationship.  If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know that I believe there are three roles inside your singular relationship: Partner , Friend , an...

How do you build a boundary in a romantic relationship? Today, we discuss the power of receiving love and how that increases the intimacy in your relationship. You'll hear how the second half of my book— 6 Steps to Better Marriage Communication —is all about bettering communication practices that help you to receive love. We’ll talk about steps 4, 5, and 6: beware conditions, affirm lovingly, and...

How do you change your relationship communication simply by changing the way you make requests of your partner? Today we discuss the power of giving good, clean communication and why that is transformational to the intimacy in your marriage: You’ll hear how fear and confusion are polluting your marriage communication, and how you can overcome that fear, and get clear about what you want. We’ll tal...

What do you need to feel like a whole person? Do you know what your partner needs in order to feel whole? Today I interview my nephew and niece, Nicky and Faye. They offer insights on this topic from experiences in their relationship: You’ll hear about the philosophy that keeps their marriage tender and supports their partnership You’ll get a mantra that will change your life And you’ll realize wh...

I invite you to consider how the habit of alcohol impacts your relationship, and, thus your life. Here’s the thing: alcohol is so glorified in our culture that, if you struggle, you’re likely to feel deep shame as a result. I wanted you to hear from my guest today, Steve Wilt, because he has always looked so successful. He never experienced that rock-bottom that so many people describe before they...

Why does your marriage need a check-in at all, let alone an annual review? I’m a firm believer that the tiny, invisible details matter more than the grand gestures. I also believe there is huge power in taking the eagle view and looking at the total landscape of your relationship. That's what we'll do in this episode with an annual marriage check-in: We’ll use the ever-present marriage vow, “For b...

Is your energy running low after the excitement of the holidays? This episode is the final part in my series about rest and self-care: Two weeks ago I talked about the power of noticing as self-care Last week we explored the ideas of capacity and nourishment This week, you’ll learn the 3 types of rest you need to offer yourself a truly FULL tank of gas and navigate life’s bumps as well as surge fo...

Sometimes the things you LOVE to do also exhaust you. Today’s episode will tell you about why I love dogs. Dogs bring me so much joy, AND the dogs we had early in our marriage also pushed me beyond my capacity until I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I’m pulling another episode out of the archives to further our look at REST. Rest is one of the most important ingredients if you want to...

Why is "noticing" one of the most powerful self-care tools? If you are one of my regular clients you will often hear me say, “Good to notice.” When you can notice—without judgment, and with lots of curiosity—you’re able to digest your behavior and thus your life. You get to ask yourself, “Am I living according to my values?” Stress comes to us when we aren’t living according to our values. And anx...

How does your conflict style impact your relationship? In this episode we talk about why the STYLE of your conflict matters more than the subject matter of your conflict. When you can remain kind in the midst of a heated conflict, your relationship feels safer with every conflict you learn to negotiate. December can be such a busy month, right? I recommend taking inventory of your life to see what...

How do traditions deepen the intimacy you feel with your partner? And when is it time to let go of a tradition? Today we discuss the power of traditions to build connection in your relationship. You'll hear: A story about cinnamon rolls and why they make me feel like I’m living into my values.  3 questions to prompt you and your partner to discover what you value in traditions as well as a sh...

Today I talk with Dr. Lynda Ulrich , who founded the Goodness Exchange to spread more positive news and bypass all the negative noise. In this episode, you’ll hear: The 4 steps to more joy and less fear that come straight from Dr. Lynda's book: Happiness is an Option: Thriving Instead of Surviving in the Era of the Internet. How the "lover" aspect of Dr. Lynda's relationship was ignited when she f...

Every relationship has a dynamic. With a lot of my private coaching clients, we talk about cluelessness and codependence, so I decided to create a short series. Two weeks ago, I recorded an episode that looked at cluelessness. Last week we talked about codependence . Today, we’ll talk about the negative dynamic that results when you have a combination of cluelessness and codependence in your relat...

Are you in a codependent relationship? With a lot of my private coaching clients, we talk about cluelessness and codependence, so I decided to create a short series. Last week we looked at cluelessness. This week, we talk about codependence. You’ll get a habit to practice as well as a script to help you communicate more effectively with your partner. Next week, we’ll talk about the negative dynami...

With a lot of my private coaching clients, we talk about cluelessness and codependence, so I decided to create a short series. This podcast episode looks at cluelessness. You’ll get a habit to practice as well as a script to help you communicate more effectively with your sweetheart. Next week, we'll go over codependence. In two weeks, we’ll talk about the negative dynamic that results when you ha...

Money is a source of bonding and a source of conflict in every relationship I’ve studied. I think this is because money represents things. Money shows us what we value. Money clarifies those values. When you share values, you tend to spend and save similarly. But money can also be a source of conflict. When you encounter differences in how to spend money, it’s a signal that you are valuing differe...

What happens when love includes more than you bargained for? My son (who you already heard from in episode #50 ) fell in love with a woman who already had a son. He had hesitations early in the relationship because falling in love with his then-girlfriend meant being part of an instant family. Did he want that? Habit for Your Happily Ever After Unpack one of the suitcases in your sweetheart’s life...

How do you balance sacrifice and self-expression in your relationship? In this shorter episode, we hear from a previous guest: Jean Hodges. Jean was my theatre teacher in high school and an all-around-life mentor. Here she talks about 2 attitudes she faced in her married life of almost 6 decades. I wanted to share this with you because the juxtaposition in these two ideas rang so deeply with my ow...