Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When the Entrepreneur finds a rare space crack, sending a musical theatre number in makes it come unzipped. But when the junk that spills out puts everyone in a singing mood, dishonored Klingons raise the stakes for the grand finale. What’s the most dangerous conversation with a partner? Why does La’an keep her braid so tight? Can transporters take care of family planning too? It’s the episode tha...

When the Entrepreneur is assigned an Uber mission that involves shuttling a Klingon ambassador with a lengthy curriculum mori, M’Benga forgets about waffles and starts leaning into his dark side. But when Chapel starts experiencing similar horrors, no one can be sure if the line dividing morality and criminality is strongly defined. Is Adam on the side of the AMPTP? Is the Kelcie Mae the ugliest F...

When Boimler gets a portal suck that lands him in the past, he’s worried he might be responsible for an authentically creepy Spock. But when Mariner joins the party and they solve the horonium puzzle, convincing the portal pirates requires everyone’s best diplomacy. How do Orions utilize their refractory period? In what way is Starfleet like Orthodox Judaism? Are surprise parties a crime? It’s the...

When “organizational difficulties” plague Starfleet’s new gas station, the Enterprise and the Farragut arrive to stir up fluids at the stellar nursery. But when Lieutenant Ramon starts having a bit of a moment, Uhura’s own Frank makes her think she’s next in line. What’s the only way to get things done around the house? Who is the Cosmo Kramer of Strange New Worlds? Is there anything Jim Kirk’s er...

When a perfectly avoidable shuttlecraft accident causes Spock to be reassembled as human-only, he and the crew have the privilege of experiencing the whole spectrum of his myriam adolescent emotions. But when his judgy future in-laws insist on performing some pre-wedding rituals, Chapel persuades her ride-or-dies to Jake a shuttle in order to convince a stoned AI voice assistant to hand over its a...

When Captain Pike revisits Rigel VII to clean up an old mess, the away team lose their memory and wake up in The Cage. But while the crew of the Enterprise work through their own Conundrum, Pike’s trip to the castle reconnects everyone with their past. Is there an ideal timing for death as a podcaster? What are the physics of Captain Batel’s dimple? How many pips are possible in one promotion? It’...

When La’an bloops onto an alternate Enterprise, she gets handed a temporal mission without much of a briefing. But when Captain Kirk gets grabby with her time-travel gadget, they both bloop back to stop a secret agent from arresting humanity’s development. What do you need to make a leather jacket look good? Did Star Trek miss a rare Vermont product placement opportunity? Is it still cheating in a...

When Pike finds a defense attorney inside a toxic nebula, it’s more aspera than astra when Una doesn’t accept the plea deal. But when Starfleet’s principles end up on trial, the whole truth comes out and justice gets a start. How can you tell when Pike’s not in work mode? Which book should really be wearing a uniform? What’s the best way to make an argument in sex court? It’s the episode that will...

When Captain Pike takes a few days off during the premiere, a very Niles Crane version of Spock is left in charge of the Entrepreneur. But when a distress call from La’an turns Season 2 into Star Trek III, Dr. M’Benga and Nurse Chapel realize they never left the war. Should there be a rank threshold for sabotage? Who has the best view in Starfleet? What’s the sine qua non of science fiction comedy...

When Spring Break ends in the old west, Cullen Bohannon goes looking for rewenge on the railroad. But when fraud and malfeasance in railroad hiring practices are the norm, the people of the mid-1860s will have to decide whether to let the past be the past. Have security measures been added to the modern confessional? What would get you run out of town in this era? How do you get in good with a new...

When Judy is quite taken by a visiting solicitor’s amulet, the price for trying it on is Frances Bay cosplay. But when Donald’s quick thinking gets Judy back in her body, an arbitrary passage of time turns their dream world into a nightmare. Why does Pasadena love milk so much? What establishment is missing from the modern train station? Should there be more rules involved in body swapping? It’s t...

When Babs Olusanmokun takes his turn on Law & Order, he’s more chest paste than sicksbay in his approach to treating AIDS. But when SVU detectives straighten out the cabbie’s story, it leads them to a quack who’s left a trail of tiny coffins. How will the franchise outdo itself this fall? Does Jack Lufton make it onto the raw-deal board? Who’s working overtime during this investigation? It’s the e...

When a Moroccan-themed bar in Upland, California needs help, John Taffer beams in a doctor who prefers his drinks a certain way. But after the owners exchange roles, they learn that operating a bar is as tough as their falafel. Do people prefer a soft pita or a good looking pita? Can a bar be a bar without barstools? Are Moroccan spices flammable? It's the episode that stresses the importance of t...

When Sam gets drawn in by Captain Janeway’s game tape, their relationship stirs up political strife amongst the staff at Cheers. But when Diane can’t do anything to wim against Janet, even quitting her job turns into a standoff with Sam. What does the right seat choice at the bar get you? Who makes the muppets look like shit? How is latter-day Frasier a demonstrably better person? It’s the episode...

When a family curse follows Hayes all the way to Kentucky, his son’s need for approval sends them spelunking in search of an ancient relic. But when John’s mind starts playing tricks on him in and out of the cave, his quest to destroy the relic turns into the ultimate sacrifice of the story. How was Shatner paid for this film? What’s the deal with that shitty RV? Why didn’t Indiana Jones have a fa...

When it’s Spring Break for Big Rodd, Ben & Adam start exploring the resumes of some favorite Star Trek creatives. But when Terry Matalas’ time-travel show turns out to be set in a Red Dawn reboot universe, it raises questions about the SyFy network’s gore quotient and who was responsible for casting. How much meat should there be on a post-apocalyptic arm bone? Where is Pennsylvania Memorial Hospi...

When a haunted cube shows up inside Jupiter, a dustbuster club beams down to rescue Jack from the Borg Queen’s plans. But when Picard plugs himself in and the D gets ready to fire, a dozen denouements start prescribing the next era of Trek. What do they keep in Bay 13? Do all public speaking drones get similar hardware? Who had the best character arc in season 3? It’s the episode that can gofobo i...

When the crew finally learns what’s behind Jack’s red door, he Teen Wolfs his way off the Titan to go handle his problems himself. But when new assimilation technology turns young Starfleets into drones, only the olds will be able to save Frontier Day. Was it the right choice for this season to bury the green lede? Whose therapist has a door that locks from the outside? What important advice did J...

When Vadic starts terrorizing the Titan and Jack can’t Teen Wolf his way out of their dilemma, a tragic ultimatum draws him up to the bridge looking for any information about this season’s main story. But while Riker and Troi hash things out on the Shrike, a synthetic resurrection puts the whole band back together again to face what’s next. Which phaser setting makes clean up a breeze? Does Star T...

When Jean-Luc and Beverly start contemplating genocide, Vadic catches up with the Titan to try to take Jack by force. But when Lore locks out Geordi and Vadic slips out of Picard’s trap, her tragic backstory raises new questions about Jack’s unique physiology. What’s the sneakiest thing about watermelon as a flavor? Where could this season have used a dark Wheaton punch up? Who do we really want t...

When the band is mostly back together again, they’ll need all their Starfleet ingenuity to get an away team inside the vault at Daystrom Station. But when the security system glitches because it recognizes Riker, learning what else was stolen means leaving someone behind. What happens to a body when it’s exposed to too much Nexonic energy? How many more Daystrom exhibits are there? Do ancient myth...

When a person from Picard’s past shows up to interrogate him about Jack, they have to rip off some emotional scabs to get back to a place of trust. But when Jack starts acting more like Jason Bourne than The Manchurian Candidate, the team uncovers clues about the evolution of the Changeling plot. When is having low expectations the best approach? How is an acting Captain’s log like a shoe? What’s...

When Riker concedes to the inevitability of the Titan being crushed by the gravity well of a nebula, he suggests that Picard use his final hours to fire up the holodeck and get to know the son that didn’t want to know him.  But when Dr. Crusher recognizes contraction patterns in the light bangers they’ve been experiencing, the crew will have to hold their breath as they're birthed out of a space w...

When Captain Shaw falls on a girder and throws Riker the Captain’s keys, season 3 tries to conjure a Crimson Tide moment between hiding from Vadic or fighting the Shrike. But when the A and B stories both discover a new enemy hiding under the surface, sabotage on the Titan sends it sinking toward crush depth. What’s the mind-reading deal between Riker and Troi? Who is in the running for Starfleet’...

When Season 3’s big baddie catches up with the Titan, her demand for Jack Crusher comes with a terrifying ultimatum. But when Riker gets exasperated by Picard avoiding the question, he pulls Beverly out of a coma to find out who Jack’s father is. How did the Crushers acquire the Mariposa? Which character is less likable than the villains? What will this season’s Bajoran Tablet be? It’s the episode...