Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When a teen genius spends too much time in his basement making home videos, his ideas about holes are purely theoretical. But once he convinces himself to take the first slide, his experiment becomes a slippery slope of interdimensional tropes. What ever happened to all the aspirational teen spaces from the 80s and 90s? How did DoppelQuinn get so much done in 15 minutes? Can we get the art departm...

When Lieutenant Brogan gets shuffled over to Demeter City, it’s all hot dogs and police misconduct while on patrol with Officer Haldane. But when they get an important babysitting assignment for an unusual eyewitness puppet, the DCPD demonstrates its need for additional training. Where do 8-year-old Ben and 8-year-old Adam part ways? What’s the blue button on the hot dog dispenser for? Who earned...

When a very large space station is rotten with ambassadors, the mousse budget is astronomical and the surfaces are very smooth. But when Commander Sinclair defies orders to keep the peace, Londo is the only one who doesn’t believe his nephew’s hostage video. Why isn’t there more science fiction tv? What’s the steel-to-person ratio of Babylon 5? How does a Star Trek podcast stay cool as hell? It’s...

When Admiral Paris cons Brody out of the Caribbean and back onto his own ship, there are fewer majestic shots than you’d expect from Star Trek in the sea. But when a disgraced former captain joins George the Dog in a plot for revenge, only a talking dolphin can save the ship from rebel attack. Who is the Argyle of SeaQuest? What does Darwin keep in his dopp kit? Is there a dress code on the Delta...

When Jesse Thorn joins Ben and Adam to relive a conversation with P-Stew, the intro runs almost as long as the interview itself. But when foundational SNL sketches differ, the resulting questions go from glib to sincere and Jesse offers up remote pod viewing directly into his adolescence. If NPR is Godzilla, what is PRI? Where do public radio and Star Trek align? What’s the weirdest thing about ha...

When Ben and Adam need to Q their A’s, Adam Ragusea stops by the pod to lend a hand. But when the trio wants Bonita Applebum and instead they get Apples and Bananas, it looks like things may be off to a rocky start. Where has Kevin been hiding all these years? Is it crenellation or castellation? Does Instacart deliver to the D quad? It’s the episode that asks “What did you think of that?” You can...

When Ben and Adam got to see an early preview of the DS9 retrospective in 2019, they sat down to record a bonus episode about everything it brought to light. But with Voyager’s own documentary on the way soon, how will it compare without a Shat or an Ira to center himself in the story. Who was responsible for a prison experiment at the live screening? Why is this production so kind to Rick Berman?...

When a very important Star Trek person wanders into Ben’s cargo bay, he leaves the handmade gun at home to avoid another encounter with security. But with a 50% hit rate on the backstage rider, “Bowmore 15 or similar” results in something “perfectly drinkable”. How did Waltke Senior inform Rok-Tahk’s mouth? Is Kevin Uxbridge being discussed inside of Big Rodd’s pocket? Does Nickelodeon slime have...

When a really good crew takes a redshirt on an away mission, he turns out to be more of a cowboy than they expected. But when they agree to a really big score, they might meet their match with a crew playing for the other team. What's the URL for Craig's List but for heists? What do you call guys that aren't Wayne Knight, but kind of are? Is the Sizemore Special a smart thing to order for breakfas...

When yet another awards show rolls through The Beverly Hilton Ballroom, Greatest Trek’s biggest stars gather to honor an entire year of NuTrek. But when none of the winners show up to receive their awards, it becomes clear why some presenters were also nominees in their category. Who doesn’t even watch Star Trek? Where can you buy Patrick Stewart’s book? Which beloved series will be unceremoniousl...

When Adam and Ben resume their trip through Very Short Treks, they find the booger jokes and philosophy class exactly to their tastes. But when Tendi offends the olds with more figures of speech, Riker breaks into a song that blows the whole genre up. How might a mini fridge affect a party? What is Ensign HAZMAT actually there for? Who is always a safe choice for Edward Larkin? It’s the episode th...

When Ben and Adam set a course for Very Short Treks, they don’t know where they’re going but it’s familiar once they arrive. But when Captain Pete Holmes can’t say anything right and Spock’s comedy logic bombs, we’re left to pick up the many exploding pieces. What’s the problem with brassieres? How do you play marriage on hard mode? Which technology paved the way for carpeted starships? It’s the e...

When Nick Locarno tries to relive his glory days with a Nova Fleet recruitment drive, his assumptions about Mariner are proven spectacularly wrong. But when Tendi’s big gamble puts her in debt to her sister, Mariner’s mutiny turns Locarno’s legacy into something meaningful. What is the misophonia community very willing to do? Are bioweapons allowed in barter by combat? Which Passaro is NuTrek tryi...

When Mariner’s recklessness becomes the main issue for her crewmates, the Betas keep her occupied with a mission of distraction. But while Captain Freeman struggles to complete the real mission, a new Klingon friend helps Mariner understand her bad behavior. What makes a public park truly scary? Why aren’t there more gateways? Did Girl Scout Cookies Corporation get something wrong? It’s the episod...

When the Lower Deckers get trapped in yet another Star Trek cave, they recount past cave missions for inspiration about how to escape. But when a carnivorous moss starts looking to connect, Tendi’s story about friendship passes the Vendorians’ test. Which two characters are secretly married? When does Grottonous Season start? Who buys the drinks at a pants-optional affair? It’s the episode with a...

When the megalomaniacal heavy hitters show back up on Lower Decks, the Bynars take a shot that reveals more about the tilt ship. But when Rutherford can’t convince Badgey to go good with a hug, pulling straight from the Spock playbook splits his creation into its only three parts. Whatever happened to Houdini? Why do we need to dismantle the internet? What comes out of Agimus’ cloaca? It’s the epi...

When it’s time for the Grand Nagus to sign on the Federation‘s dotted line, Captain Freeman’s shrewd negotiating skills end up closing the deal. But when the Lieutenant J.G.s struggle with Rick Steves duty on Ferenginar, Ransom’s mentorship brings them through a few more uncomfortable lessons. What mean sheaf? Which types of crack should be treated seriously? How do furries handle clean up? It’s t...

When the Cerritos picks up some undercover Betazoid woo girls for an Uber mission, the celebration in the mess hall starts getting pretty intense. But as T’Lyn searches for the true cause of everyone’s psychosis, Boimler gets put through the security team’s program. What’s the brand promise of the Royal Sonesta? Is there a bar for being able to stand on a bar? Do cats get ice cream headaches too?...

When Tendi is professionally pressured into an away mission to attend her sister’s wedding, Mariner and T’Lyn join her for a knife-and-phermone-filled girl’s trip tour of Orion. But when Brutherford’s twin Twaining proves to not be universally diplomatic, Little Boney might need more than a watery hug in the morning to recover. What are the rules of murder bug drinking game? Would Kahn do orange p...

When the Cerritos gets a mission to install an overdue software update, Captain Freeman’s reboot puts everyone on the ring world at risk. But when boss Boimler becomes a control freak about his first away mission as commander, the rest of the Betas start Home Alone-ing Lt. Dirkhead. How many plot holes are in the isolinear chip junction room? Where do you go when you’re Inner Lighted? Why wouldn’t...

When Mariner is on a mission to get herself demoted, Ransom’s stellar management shows her a pathological pattern of self sabotage. But while the new Lieutenant J.G.s settle into their promotions, Rutherford gets into a minor-improvements-measuring contest with the new guy in engineering. What is the screen of the mouth for a baby? Who was pedantic van kid?  Should the B and C stories casually cro...

When the Cerritos gets a super secret mission, Voyager’s deepest cuts end up both ruining and saving the day. But with the tiniest key bump of a promotion on the line, the ensigns pull together to get Voyager safely back to Earth. Are standards too low among Star Trek fans? What type of erasure is Lower Decks guilty of? If a Borg Cube was an earth animal, which would it be? It’s the episode warmed...

When Ben and Adam find themselves in the off season, they invite back composer extraordinaire and reluctant YouTube sensation, Adam Ragusea, to chat about Trek. But when the jazz gummies hit and the podcast fluid keeps flowing, the conversation may not stay on target. What's the right way to make fun of Disco? Can Ragusea convince the guys to rotate through TNG again? What's more difficult, a self...

When the team heads to Vegas for an increasingly unlicensed convention, FODs show up in force to make it the best STLV yet. But when the Rio itself gets downright scary, even an excellent staff can’t save hotel points from being deducted. Which type of summer camp includes bingo? What was the beverage of choice for STLV ’23? Should Prodigy explore its darker themes? It’s the episode as bewildering...

When Captain Batel’s priority one mission goes sideways, the Entrepreneur finds a disaster orbiting Parnassus Beta. But with everyone hiding in a Johnny Rockets and no way to beam out, a daring rescue mission brings Captain Pike face to face with his demons. What does an ideal America look like to Michael Bay? Which things should Star Trek use sparingly? How does Doctor M’Benga cut his waffles? It...