Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When a giant green Frankenstein emerges from the ocean, he starts to take bites out of sailors like so many canapés. But after he makes his way towards mainland Japan, it's up to the crack team at the Frankenstein Institute of Technology to determine just what's going on. Is Russ Tamblyn the real monster? Will the war end with a Godzilla from the machine? Did 60's cinema have a volcano mandate? It...

When an ex-agent of Z.O.W.I.E. is called out of his retirement lifestyle to save the world from climate scientists, Derek Flint politely declines the mission until a poison dart almost takes out his former boss. But after Galaxy agents abduct his lady friends, faking his death gets him into their secret lair to rescue the polycule and destroy the volcano. Who isn’t getting shaved by multiple women...

When a Denavan Jakes his shuttle into the sun, the Enterprise quickly sends an away team down to the planet’s surface. But after the team discovers a rubber vomit parasite that is threatening to overtake the planet’s colony, the crew must find a solution that doesn’t nuke the baby with the bathwater. Does Spock have any hobbies? Is there anything more futuristic than a spray bottle? What’s the eas...

When Greatest Trek jumps into the past, Adam and Ben must follow by skipping their way into Carl’s Hole. But after this classic episode of Star Trek the Original Series reveals more than just time travel, your hosts must commit to the past in order to save the future. Is Spock now a hat guy? Can Kirk shut down some more jerks? Will we see our crew skip again? It’s the episode where we learn our fr...

When the galaxy winks out and a bearded time traveller appears, his religious quest for vengeance leads to confusing circumstances aboard the Entrepreneur. But after Kirk leads several missions down to the planet to investigate, hatching a plan to trap both Lazaruses for eternity is the sacrifice they’re both willing to make. Which host is more experienced in the diarrhetic arts? Where do the Oreg...

When the Klingons are on the rise it’s up to Kirk and team to thwart an upcoming invasion, but when the Organians are a little too chill, it’s time to burst into a beam of light and put some Qo’nos and Earth perspectives aside. Will this renaissance world survive? How breezy are those outfits? Will the Kling’ns be back? It’s the episode that introduces stage-one of a loafed evolution. Support the...

When the Entrepreneur is sent to rescue some miners on Janus VI, their ages are not what anyone expected. But after an important implement is stolen by a mysterious monster, it’s a race against time to avoid losing their lives. Is there such a thing as an old bold miner? Does a three minute response time satisfy anyone? Can you have a face not even a mother could love? It’s the episode that needs...

When the Entrepreneur visits a decimated colony on Omicron Ceti III, the away team is surprised to find a group of happy survivors thriving on a vegetarian diet. But after Spock gets sprayed by a flower and everyone refuses to leave paradise, Kirk has to start pissing people off to break the happiness spell. How did the Berthold rays over promise and under deliver? Which piece of equipment is very...

When a grumpy Ambassador forces the Entrepreneur to ignore a Code 710, an away team beams down and learns the crew has been designated casualties of war. But after Spock starts taking out security guards and Scotty threatens to blow up the planet’s buildings too, Kirk destroys a war computer to finally end the ancient conflict. Where does the generational trauma not stop? What’s worse than a livin...

When the Entrepreneur finds an Earth vessel from the mysterious 1990s, an away team beams aboard to wipe the frost off the sleeping crew’s glass. But after a Starfleet historian falls in love with Khan and helps him commandeer the ship, Captain Kirk retakes control and leaves the augments at Ceti Alpha V. When is a hot dog order heroic? Which original Uxbridge-Shimoda policy is still in place toda...

When scouting a mixed-genre planet, Sulu calls for emergency beam out and arrives back on the Entrepreneur looking very refractory. But after Kirk and Spock raid the costume closet and head down to check things out, they meet members of the resistance and break into the server room to confront Landru. Which weird subreddits have entered the algorithim? How many ways can Reger be pronounced? What d...

When Captain Kirk demands his day in court, the evidence isn’t on his side and neither is an old flame. But after Spock starts kicking the computer’s ass at chess, they move the proceedings to the Entrepreneur so that Kirk can save the ship from another sweaty rambler. Which lesson could NuTrek take from this episode? What was the other name option for Jamie? When is it ok to put eggs down the gar...

When the Entrepreneur tests out time-travel, Captain Kirk’s questionable use of the tractor beam results in past people getting beamed aboard. But after sharing way too much information and assessing their historical significance, Spock figures out how to slingshot everyone back to the future and return the past people to their time. What would make Ben and Adam conspicuous as time travelers? Who...

When Kirk beams down for a house party on Cestus III, what he finds instead is an aerial bombardment and one very angry outpost survivor. But when the Enterprise gives chase and the Metrons sense violent intent, a broadcast death match is the only suggestion for conflict resolution. Are Spock and McCoy capable of effectively insulting each other? What kind of utensil can you bring to a dinner part...

When the Entrepreneur is crossing a space desert on the way to Beta VI, the crew detect an unmapped planet and no one seems interested in stopping by. But after Sulu and Kirk disappear from the bridge, an away team beams down to find their chaos agent poised for an unfair fight. What’s the best lead-in for a Dr. McCoy impression? Who hasn’t seen Sinners? How many things can a sharpie dick mean? It...

When Nus Braka starts forming an anti-federation of pirates, he finds the Athena outside of his Omega47 mine sphere and kidnaps Ms. Mir and Captain Ake for an impromptu trial. But after Ms. Mir gets to act as judge, jury, and executioner, Caleb arrives to explain just how important the Academy is to him. Which is the most decadent sandwich? What’s permanently written on a whiteboard somewhere? Whe...

When school’s out and the cadets get dropped off at Betazed, Starfleet goes into lockdown and Caleb finally opens two years of messages from his mom. But after stealing a shuttle with the help of SAM, his tearful reunion on Ukek gets cut short by The Venari Ral. What are all Ben Affleck films about? Which Star Trek character is sadder in retrospect? Who does all the train stuff? It’s the episode t...

When the cadets are struggling with their trauma and Lieutenant Tilly arrives to help them through some drama, SAM glitches out and has to make an emergency trip to Kasq. But after Tarima joins the cadets and slowly learns the lesson of Our Town , SAM gets a second chance at life with the help of Dr. Mark. Why does the USS Athena have enormous windows? Which play did Caleb pick for class? What do...

When the cadets leave campus for All-Worlds Day break, Darem gets ritually abducted and Jay-Den makes an extremely risky decision to follow him through a random portal. But after Caleb stays aboard the Athena and Genesis gets them both in trouble over nothing, Jay-Den gives a reception speech so targeted that it pushes the happy couple to the point of abdication. How does a Klingon wear a speedo?...

When the Academy and the War College are spirited away on a field trip to visit the USS Miyazaki, everything seems like fun and games until rabid bat men crash the party. But when Captain Ake is short on options for saving the students, Admiral Openly-Judges-You-For-Not-Having-In-Unit-Laundry suggests they should set Nus on the loose. What grade level does a ship's computer read at? How do you bes...

When SAM is under pressure from the makers on Kasq, getting into a new class about the unexplainable puts her on the trail of another important emissary. But after exploring the life and legacy of the Sisko, SAM learns she no longer has to defend her choices to succeed. Who didn’t get screeners? Which stunt was shot like a ConAir explosion? What is the propellor hat of confections? It’s the episod...

When a Klingon transport is destroyed and the diaspora becomes the topic of debate at the Academy, Jay-Den Kraag faces his fear of public speaking to make a case for Klingon autonomy. But after Captain Ake reunites with a warlord from her past and Admiral Vance lets him win his charity in battle, Jay-Den begins to recognize the new brother he has in Caleb Mir. Who probably started shaving in the f...

When the War College students start pranking the Starfleet cadets, the adults in charge only add fuel to their fire. But after Darem fumbles as team captain and Caleb and Tarima get closer, the cadets end the prank war with only a little bit of lab-grown eye trauma. What do we not universally want to know? When is a backwards basketball shot required? Which movie will not be mined for drops? It’s...

When the Betazed president alphas Admiral Keeps-Sending-You-Dave-Ramsey-and-Tony-Robbins-Videos during negotiations to potentially rejoin the Federation, it becomes clear he may not be there to negotiate in earnest. But after the president’s daughter takes a liking to a Caleb, he may be able to save the negotiations as long as he doesn’t goo everywhere first. Which dead actor is living on? How was...

When a failure of Starfleet justice makes a sad little slickback out of Caleb, his escape kicks off a 15-year crime spree and all he wants is to find his mom. But after Captain Ake gets reinstated as the chancellor of Starfleet Academy, Caleb’s transmission to mommy reignites an old beef with Nus Braka. Who’s the only person in Hollywood with a thriving career? Where are dirty clothes stored on th...