Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When Admiral Picard receives a super-secret message, he calls in some favors to reach its point of origin. But while Raffi and her handler struggle to stave off a terrorist attack, Jean-Luc Jakes a shuttle to con his way into his next adventure. Are all signs pointing to nubbin bugs? Is Adam Ragusea the chef on the Titan? How many mixtapes is too many mixtapes? It’s the episode that’s just asking...

When Captain Freeman gets an important assignment, the Cerritos crew has some time to kill on the holodeck. But when Mariner plays Moriarty chicken with Boimler, a taste of Rutherford’s blood turns their public-domain adversary into a real-blood enthusiast. Whose body count is higher than Vlad the Impaler? Why did Ben and Adam get kicked out of the Saban offices? Who put The Silence of the Lambs o...

When "White Balance" Pranica and Sandy Harrison are joined by Adam "Gabagool" Ragusea, the trio begin to analyze their favorite musical moments in Star Trek. But when Ragusea starts hitting our hosts with the Blaster Beam, Ben and Adam must do all that they can to resist its stimulation. Is the nexus more fun than the matrix? What exactly is a dramaturg? Did every extra from TOS go on to become a...

When it’s dry January on Paramount+, Ben & Adam dig out from an avalanche of questions sent in by the Friends of DeSoto. But when there’s a big year to reflect on and lots more NuTrek to come, physics may get butchered but speculation is a sure bet. What’s the most dangerous part of a loft bed? Which questions will be answered well versus answered a lot? What’s in the cards for Uxbridge-Shimoda in...

When the only way out of Prodigy’s Wolf 359 is to blow up the damn ship, the kids load up into an escape shuttle without their beloved advisor. But when Hologram Janeway’s last act connects Chakotay’s future with Vice Admiral Janeway’s present, she goes to court for Dal and wins a new mission for the crew. What’s removable on a Rowdy Roddy Piper action figure? Would 10 out of 10 protostar explosio...

When the Protostar is surrounded and Admiral Jellico wants an away team sent over, the baddies sub in and immobilize the kids in a relatively considerate way. But when a refugee from a future TGG episode lets Vice Admiral Janeway out of the brig, it’s moments too late to stop the living construct from infecting the fleet. Are there any rules to egg nog? Is the Protostar the Neon Deion of starships...

When it’s Freaky Friday for Vice Admiral Janeway and Dal, the communication between ships finally goes beyond Morse code. But when The Vindicator takes over as top baddie on the Dauntless, Commander Tysess can’t get it together to stop their mission. How do you explain a warp bubble to kids? Did Ben break The Living Construct? What’s actually being tested in the Kobayashi Maru? It’s the episode th...

When the Prodigy crew can’t beat their holo-simulation on All-Madden, they decide to tackle their blues by downing a few huge bowls of sadness. But when crooner tunes and a Glittersmooch indicate they never left the holodeck, they’re forced to Myst their way through a series of dorky escape rooms. Can a Drednok transform into a glass table? Do bartenders hate making tea? What is the proper chip si...

When the crew is stuck in the neutral zone, there’s plenty of time to swap sob stories while they wait for repairs on the Protostar. But when The Diviner gets caught up on the future, Janeway finally gets curious about the mysterious guest on her ship. Why are most triple pips an unfun hang? Is Rok-Tahk actually Rancor? Who’s got the most painful expression of a sold-into-slavery story? It’s the e...

When the crew stops for parts at a novelty scotch planet, Dal tries to fix his messy genetics with a dubious solution from a crackpot doctor. But when the kids and the Protostar are almost captured by Romulans, Vice Admiral Janeway risks a Neutral Zone infraction to get it done for Admiral Jellico. What would it take to drive Zero mad? How are emergency helmets stored on a space elevator? When are...

When the kids stash the Protostar under an avalanche, they hike across the ice to hitch a ride at the depot. But when the Dauntless away team finally connects the dots, an escape with Captain Okona puts both ships on the brink of war. Who covers hazmat duties on the USS Shovel? How does Zero operate their suit? What’s the first benefit of Murph’s metamorphosis? It’s the episode with a face for dis...

When the Protostar has to steer clear of Starfleet, the kids decide to answer a 100-year-old distress call instead of worrying about Murph. But when they beam down to the cosplay planet and meet the Enderprizians, a prophecy puts the crew center stage in a toxic situation. What makes a premium denim store distinct? How important are the facts when it comes to ancient teachings? Is there a way to m...

When the Protostar is suddenly in proximity of a sleepy Borg cube, the crew’s first thought is to go inside to get some help with the diabolical weapon they’ve found under the floor. But when no one listens to Hologram Janeway, Zero’s guilt debt leads the kids into an incredibly naive plan. Who could really grow it on the vinculum? Which drone needs to be an action figure? How do Boomers wear thei...

When the Protostar reaches a remote outpost, meeting a real-life Starfleet raises more questions than answers for the crew. But when Vice Admiral Janeway picks up some strange readings on Tars Lamora, her pursuit of Chakotay leads her into bad guy territory. Shouldn’t all starships have a just-in-case tank? Which app do you use for no-strings whale action? Is there an eviler way to cook a sausage?...

When Captain Freeman challenges Admiral Buenamigo to a mission race, the fate of the entire Cali-class is on the line. But when Mariner tunes in to FNN, her career as a tomb raider is cut short. Is Star Trek full of sex candles? Why aren’t there more contest episodes? Have the pronunciation waters ever been muddier? It’s the episode that didn’t check for nubbins! Music by Adam Ragusea Follow Great...

When Mariner wants to gush about life on the Cerritos to a visiting reporter, everyone mistrusts her intentions and tries to shut her out of the story. But when Captain Freeman assumes the worst about her daughter’s unauthorized interview, her epic overreaction forces Mariner to choose between Starbase 80 and striking out on her own. Is nepotism still legal in some states? How are we supposed to f...

When Boilmer pens a sequel to the original Crisis Point, it winds up skewing a little more The Final Frontier than The Wrath of Khan . But when Tendi cosplays as captain, it’s Romulan boob windows all over space. Is this the best the E has ever looked? What’s the point of towel warmers? Is Knick Knack going to be a thing moving forward? It’s the episode that promises 75% less interruptions! Music...

When Peanut Hamper’s story continues with a crash landing on a backwater planet, she’s more C-3PO than Paul Sheldon to the owl people who find her. But when Rawda takes the wayward space box under his wing, the ancient secret he shares ends up changing the course of the planet. Does Tom Hanks not know how to land a plane? Has new goat-milking technology affected the Areore population? What did wok...

When the Cerritos stops at DS9 for some post-war diplomacy, Quark has his own reasons for not wanting to do business with the Karemma. But when great social discomfort forces several characters to face their past, squirrelly Ferengi accounting is there to mitigate the drama. What comes after the Armus phase? How do Bajoran children tolerate the Sunday sacrament? Is Boimler the De Niro of Lower Dec...

When Mariner gets an ultimatum along with her job fair assignment, it’s Boimler who ends up flipping tables at the Starfleet recruitment booth. But when Rutherford faces off with a younger version of himself, a glimpse of his past raises questions about a cover up. How much detail is needed for a bit? Why is Federov taking so many showers? What type of person actually joins Starfleet? It’s the epi...

When the Cerritos engineers get assigned relaxation on The Dove, Captain Freeman is the one who ends up needing intensive treatment. But when it’s Beta vs Delta in a hero’s journey through the ship, a classic double cross leaves the ensigns pitted out. What's the company policy on spa days? How does a mud tub drain? What comes after the cinnamon love tunnel? It’s the episode that might be trolling...

When an away mission sends the ensigns to clean up a science outpost’s mess, their pissing contest with the Carlsbad crew leads to some orb-related carelessness. But when the psychic mines start revealing the ensigns’ fantasies, they learn a lot about each other and their reputation among the Cali-class ships. WHO THE FUCK is Captain Murakami? Is there an acceptable shortcut to galactic exploratio...

When a role reversal means Mariner is left to fix an orbital lift for the Delanians, the engineering team visits the planet's surface to learn just how accommodating their hosts can be. But when Mariner discovers that Rutherford and Billups committed the ultimate faux pas by not cropping their tops, she prematurely jumps into action. Will Boimler boldly go where no Boimler has gone before? Is guac...

When Mariner goes rogue instead of trusting the Starfleet system, her mission hits the wall like so many of the Freeman’s houseplants. But when things look truly hopeless, reaching into the shockingly lifelike orifices of the verugament is the only way for the ensigns to save face. Will there be any tech bros left in San Francisco by the 2380s? Does anyone actually win in an offensiveness-measurin...

When it’s time for a Season 2 rewatch, Ben and Adam come away with some very important questions for Mike McMahan. But revisiting the Lower Decks universe makes the potential for the show’s future even more intoxicating. Was Odo’s bucket a Finnish sauna? Is there a correct dosage of Easter eggs? What’s the best way to do a season rewatch? It’s the episode that’s pretty heavily gummed! Support the...