Fruitbowl: An Oral History of Queer Sex

This episode features stories from the frontlines of hookup culture when things really go off the rails. They may even make you hesitate to ever hookup with anyone ever again but I sincerely hope that isn’t the takeaway. Random hookups are just one example of the adventurous nature of queer people and our willingness to take chances and go outside of our comfort zone. And, hey, more often than not...

One of my favorite Fruitbowl questions I ask every interviewee is “What’s your best move?” Most people think they’re best move is being intuitive and connecting with their partners - which is important for sure - but for this episode I’ve decided to feature answers that are about one specific sex act. These responses might surprise you or shock you. Or maybe you’ll learn a new move that you’ll be...

We all know the script: You meet someone. You date. You eventually say “I love you.” Pretty soon, you’re on the relationship escalator: moving in together, getting married and living the life that everyone dreams of. For generations, this script also assumed monogamy. But this episode is not about those kinds of relationships. This episode features stories about how we discover our own preferences...

Kink is, by nature, taboo. That’s part of its appeal. Paradoxically, kinksters are often better at articulating what they want from sex because their sexual interests fall outside the boundaries of the most common sexual encounters.  Kinksters are known for blazing trails when it comes to innovative ways to talk about sex and give consent. Consent is built into the process of negotiating together...

It’s tempting for queer people to want to conceal our kinks in an effort to be more acceptable to straight society. Acting like vanilla heteros is just one way to live in peace during this era of government-sanctioned hostility towards queer people. But bible thumping conservatives don’t really differentiate between kinky and non-kinky queer people. So we may as well let our freak flags fly. In th...

Religion has a terrible track record when it comes to queer members and issues: condemnation, rejection and often, in the case of the Catholic church, exploitation and excommunication. While not all religions are anti-LGBT, most everyone I interviewed for Fruitbowl had negative experiences with their faith, especially in their coming of age years when we didn’t have the agency to decide for oursel...

To be trans in America right now is to live day to day knowing that your very existence is considered a provocation, a threat. But for the next hour and 13 minutes, I invite you to leave all the chaos and vitriol of our current political climate behind and listen to these trans and non-binary interviewees share some of my favorite Fruitbowl stories about identity, community, sex and intimacy. Not...

Love is complicated and for queer people, it's even more so.  Queer love rarely resembles traditional romantic stories. And while our representation is getting better, the lack of realistic queer adult love stories can make sorting through those complicated emotions and feelings a struggle. Many of this episode’s stories describe a certain kind of gratitude for the experience of first love, oftent...

College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult horm...

This episode is the first of a three part series about first love. Specifically, the messy, inconvenient, heartbreaking chaos that first love often inspires for people in high school as well as all the sweetness, optimism and exciting feelings of discovery both about ourselves and that special someone. Mix in the big feelings of emerging sexuality and you can understand why so many of these interv...

Enjoy this bonus episode of the podcast series Nuances: Our Asian Stories.  Hosted by Lazou, Nuance's latest season is titled Queering Premodern Asia and each episode explores different aspects of sexual diversity in premodern Asia with commentary and personal stories from guest scholars and artists.  Lazou reached out recently and, because our podcasts have a lot of themes in common, we decided t...

You graduated high school. You packed up all your things and you’re moving into a dorm room or your first apartment. Finally, you have the chance to define life on your own terms. For many queer people, leaving our family and getting our own place is the chance to finally seek out the experiences we’ve always wanted but weren’t allowed to have when every move, every decision we made was scrutinize...

These days, thanks to technology, it’s easier than ever to hook up; but no app can provide the rush you feel when you lock eyes with someone in person and you know, without any verbal communication, that there is a mutual interest. In this episode, our interviewees share first-time stories of cruising as well as other anecdotes about the art of cruising and what we’ve lost now that it has become l...

Let’s end Pride 2024 with a bang! For this episode, Dave is taking a break from his series on First Times and he’s selected a few of his favorite moments when interviewees shared profound thoughts about queerness, community, identity and, of course, there are a lot of things to say about sex. So put your rubbers on because tea will be spilled, mics will be dropped and truth bombs will be detonated...

There’s a tendency to devalue first times that come as a result of the internet. There’s no meet-cutes; no love at first sight. The getting-to-know-you window happens on your device. Most of them are one-offs we will never see ever again. But, like it or not, this is the way most of us find first time partners now though there are signs that dating apps are losing users and people are starting to...

As I was building this second high school hookup episode, I realized that many of the stories have striking similarities. People who grew up thousands of miles apart, often in different decades, had similar coming of age experiences. So I decided to create an entire episode featuring story pairs that are like fun-house reflections of each other; further proof that, even though queer adolescence is...

For queer people, our sexuality is not something that just switches on one day. It reveals itself over time - usually during adolescence - and the experience is often internal and private. Our first explorations into physical intimacy with other people often serve as a kind of test to see if we like it and help us start to define the role that sex will play in our lives as adults. High school is “...

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Who was your first crush? That first intense infatuation with someone special? A famous actor? A singer? An Athlete? Or was it someone you knew like another student at your school, a hot neighbor or a teacher who gave you extra attention? Whoever it was, first crushes are often the first indication that we have queer tendencies. This can be validating b...

Help support independent queer media. Get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with more than 30 extra minutes of stories by joining Fruitbowl’s Patreon community. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Note: the descriptions of this episode were altered to avoid censorship by the major podcast platforms. America’s puritanical roots a...

Patreon members get exclusive access to an UNCUT version of this episode with 20 extra minutes of stories. Learn more at fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Many of us grew up in families and communities that never once acknowledged the existence of queer people: no exposure to queer authors, filmmakers, artists. Pornography is often the first media we see that...

Listen on Apple Podcasts  Listen on Spotify. Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty. For this first episode we’re going back to the beginning of our coming of age when we had no clue what sex was or what it even meant. Maybe we heard about it from our parents, our friends or maybe we even went to a library. Many of us got the wrong information or maybe it just didn’t make sense but whatever we...

Femininity and queerness go hand in hand; that’s the conventional wisdom, anyway. So it follows that our mom’s should be supportive, non-judgmental, embracing of our idiosyncrasies and accepting of children who don’t conform to conventional expectations of gender. But it doesn’t always work out that way. In this episode, Dave introduces a collection of stories about moms who teach us, disappoint u...

There are as many cliches about fatherhood as there are about queer people. Dads are little league coaches, the leaders of prayers, the final word in family debates, trusted voices of wisdom who guide their children through adolescence and prepare them for adulthood. Join Dave as he introduces a chorus of queers who describe their complex relationships with their fathers and what their patriarchs...

Welcome to Season 5 and a new episode format! Instead of just one person’s story, Season 5 episodes will present a variety of different stories and anecdotes from the Fruitbowl archive centered around a common theme. In this inaugural episode we focus on stories about families and hometowns. Adam describes being bullied and what happened when he eventually allowed himself to enjoy masturbation. Or...

Breona is a professional sex therapist and author who lives not far from her hometown of Mt. Vernon, WA: home to the annual tulip festival. Growing up, Breona didn’t have many resources to answer her questions about sex. An early investigation to online porn was discovered by her parents and inspired her mother to have The Talk with her, but questions remained about being “in love” and responding...