From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

Self-consciousness! I have been seeing something about this recently. Google says: 'Undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions.' And the part of this definition which stands out to me is 'undue'. Not to make this end up like an English lesson but here is the meaning of 'undue' - unwarranted or inappropriate because excessive or disproportionate. So self-consciousness could be d...

Happiness! That's a topic which is often discussed isn't it? Where does it come from? How do we get more of it? What does it even mean? When you contemplate your own happiness ... what do you see? The Google definition of happiness is 'a state of well-being and contentment.' It can often look like we have to create this state. By doing things in the outside world  OR Doing things to ourselves. But...

Enough! When I consider the word 'enough' it feels like a chasm.  A hole which would be unfillable if we tried to fill it.  It's impossible to measure what is enough. Maybe in fact everything is.  Maybe everything is perfect just as it is.  We can sit in a place of seeing that perfection.  Or we can end up sitting in a place of seeing lack.  The former feels light and free.  A place of less on my...

Prescription! I spent a long time searching for the right one. Thinking that there must be an answer out there. That thing that would make me 'better'. It seemed like there were so many wise people. They were wiser than me. They knew how to fix me. It was never ending. Some things worked for a while. Then they didn't. Some things didn't work at all. I blamed myself not the tool. I saw myself as un...

Mistakes! It looks like we all make them but do we really? Here's a different take. In the moment when you do something it looks right! It is the best thing to do. In that moment there isn't anything else. That's the thinking which looks real. Later that can change. Oh dear! Turns out now, I don't like what I have done. A new perspective has emerged. New thinking looks real. Then the regret Then,...

You can't do that! Is that something you have heard before? Who said it first? A teacher A parent An older sibling That's not relevant as it happens Because they are not here now are they. But that voice in your head still is isn't it. The one which makes it look like they took away your confidence. They didn't though. It's still there. And you don't have to do too much to see it. You just have to...

Mental health! Are we really talking about it? It looks like we are. Wherever we look there are news articles, posts, memes, quotes. But just notice for a moment. Are we talking about mental health or mental illness. It's the latter I fear. We are looking deeply at mental illness. We are pointing people to mental illness. We are telling them what it looks like, how it feels, how to know they have...

Feelings! I spent ages trying to solve them! If my circumstances are x, I will feel y. If they stop doing a I will feel b. If I don't have c experience I will feel d. It was exhausting. But then I heard something new. There isn't a solution to a feeling. Just allow yourself to sit with that for a moment. Feelings do not have solutions. So everything we have based society on is a lie then! It certa...

Perception! Otherwise know as thought in the moment. It is creating our reality 100% of the time. There is a real world out there. There are real things happening inside me. But my experience of those comes to me through thought! And I begin to wonder; how much is real and how much is perception. And then I realise that I can never know that. But I can see the ease which comes from knowing that's...

Compassion! I think we need a little more of it right now. But here's a slightly different take on it. Compassion is part of self-care. Not self-compassion (although that is important too). Compassion for others is part of self-care. Let me explain! Have you noticed how you feel when you believe someone has wronged you. It's not nice is it? And it looks like it is coming from them. But it isn't. Y...

Relationships! There's a tricky topic if there ever was one! Recently I struggled to see how thought in the moment was creating my experience of someone I love. I thought, 'If they behave in x way, I will feel y.' You can imagine how that ended up. Not a huge row but some very silly bickering. You see, I hadn't seen this clearly ... Inside out works 100% of the time. It's a principle. It even work...

Accepting virtually nothing in my life led to my burnout! I resisted! I fought! I controlled! I was living in an outside in paradigm. I thought my feelings came from the outside. It was flipping exhausting! You see, there's a reason why acceptance is part of the teachings of many spiritual understandings. It tends to feel quite nice. Coming from a place of observation of life happening with no res...

Welcome to The Calmcast. The Antidote to Self-Development. With Clare Downham - The Queen of Calm. If you recognise yourself in any part of my story, you are in the right place. After becoming so stressed and anxious that I pushed myself to burnout, I had to leave my 20 year career in education Then I embarked on a mission to ‘fix’ myself. I tried every tool and technique, I accessed therapy and I...