From Harm to Healing

In this episode, Chris introduces the idea of “The Triadic Core” — sexuality, gender, and the physical body — as the most sensitive parts of the human psyche. We explore how sexual betrayal uniquely harms each area, why these wounds run so deep, and how understanding them can foster greater empathy for betrayed partners.

In this episode, Chris explores how subtle, repeated patterns of harm might gradually shape a betrayed partner’s emotional and psychological world. Using the “drops of water on a rock” metaphor, he explains how complex trauma impacts areas like trust, self-worth, and meaning — often without clear signs of abuse.

In this episode, Chris explores how partners impacted by deceptive sexuality often engage in safety-seeking behaviours and how these behaviours are often misunderstood, leading to pathologizing or the partners and victim blaming.

In this episode, Chris explores how the discovery of a secret sexual reality within a relationship can lead to acute trauma. Using the clinical framework of PTSD, he begins unpacking the psychological and physiological responses partners often experience—including triggers, re-experiencing, avoidance, mood changes, and nervous system arousal.

In this episode, Chris starts to explore the "T" in DST – the trauma caused by deceptive sexuality. In particular, he considers the importance of understanding both the acute impact of discovery and the long-term effects of deception and manipulation.

In this episode, Chris explores why the DST model identifies deceptive sexuality as an abusive system, by unpacking how patterns of deception and manipulation—used to hide a secret sexual reality—create covert control and a power imbalance in the relationship.

In this episode, Chris introduces the concept of "Integrity-Abuse Disorder" (IAD) — the second behavioural system identified in the DST model. Whilst "Compulsive Entitled Sexuality" (CES) explains the actions inside the secret sexual basement, IAD explores the deceptive behaviours used to keep it hidden.

In this episode, Chris explores the first part of the DST model’s two-part problem: the sexual or relational behaviours that take place inside the secret sexual basement. Chris introduces the concept of Compulsive-Entitled Sexuality (CES), a hybrid framework that broadens the traditional focus on sex addiction by including both compulsive behaviours and underlying entitlement.

In this first episode, therapist Chris Jones introduces the core concepts of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, breaking down the idea of a "deceptive, compartmentalized, sexual-relational reality" (DCSR) and explains the foundational metaphor of the "secret sexual basement."