From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

Every relationship has a power dynamic, whether it be equal or an uneven split. Focusing on empathy, generosity, and mutual respect are the keys to balanced relationships. In this episode we welcome Bonnie Young, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss power dynamics in relationships. Through Bonnie's research and clinical practice, she shares her findings on the importance of power s...

When we think of dishonesty in relationships, we often immediately think of the  big, life-changing moments such as betrayal. But even very small instances of dishonesty, seemingly harmless, can accumulate and eventually harm the relationship. In this episode we discuss how not being completely truthful about our needs and wants can lead to a lack of connection and misunderstanding. When we a...

How many of you have the exact life that you mapped out when you were younger? The perfect spouse, perfect children, perfect life, where everyone does exactly what you want them to? It’s pretty fair to say that how life plays out is vastly different than what we picture in our heads, especially considering that the people in our lives get to choose for themselves how they will live their lives. In...

In this episode, we welcome Lisa Stoddard Reeves to discuss the complex aspects of forgiveness in relationships, particularly within Christian contexts. Lisa highlights the potential harms of oversimplifying forgiveness, especially in cases of significant betrayals. She examines the different dimensions and types of forgiveness — including extending grace, trust, and reconciliation, as well as div...

What do you think of when you think of a polygraph test? Do you think of a gimmick you’ve seen on TV, or do you think of a reliable truth-telling device? In this episode we welcome Jared Rockwood, a polygraph examiner with extensive experience and training, to discuss the role of polygraph tests in rebuilding trust after betrayal. Jared explains the process, effectiveness, and ethical consideratio...

Do you ever wonder if it’s necessary to praise someone for a basic action you feel they should automatically be doing? In this episode we have a nuanced discussion about the dynamics between being supportive and appreciative within a relationship, especially when partners start contributing to the relationship after a period of not doing so. We examine the differences between healthy partnership c...

Trauma responses can alter how we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world. In this episode we focus on managing betrayal trauma and its impact on our self-perception of goodness. While this can be affected through other traumas, betrayal uniquely affects our core identity and sense of safety. Join us as we discuss the importance of boundaries, understanding and managing strong emotions lik...

Relationships of every kind make up the fabric of our lives. In this episode we invite Heather Linchenko to join us, author and expert on healthy relationships. Heather discusses her book 'I Meant Well…and Other Words That Kill Relationships,' which offers advice on improving relationships. She shares insights from her experiences working with Stephen R. Covey and Douglas T. Snarr and talks about...

There are always complex challenges and dynamics in managing one's own recovery after betrayal or broken trust, and it is often tempting to become overly invested in a partner’s recovery journey as well.  Perhaps you've heard the recovery metaphor of 'sweeping your side of the street,' and how partners can sometimes fall into patterns of over-controlling each other's healing processes. We rec...

If you could go back in time, what would you share with your younger self about their body, sexuality, relationships, and sexual connection? In this episode, we welcome Bonnie Young, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and founder of Azure Counseling. Bonnie discusses her book 'Sex Educated: Letters from a Latter-day Saint Therapist to Her Younger Self,' which tackles topics of body, sexuali...

When you are on the sidelines watching a friend go through the trauma of betrayal, it can be difficult not to choose sides or to know when to help and when to step back. In this episode we explore the importance of assessing your role in their support system, setting clear boundaries, and managing personal resources while offering support to an individual or couple. The overall aim is to provide c...

Typically our podcast and practice focuses on repairing relationships. But within that work is the very real question of “should I stay or should I go?” In this episode we invited Amie Woolsey to discuss the challenging topic of deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship following serious betrayals such as infidelity, abuse, or neglect. The conversation highlights the complexities and emo...

The safety needs for a betrayed partner immediately following betrayal can often feel extreme initially, but are crucial for the nervous system’s stability and recovery. Join us as we discuss how the betrayed partner's safety can be ensured by eliminating triggers and threats, and the importance of the betraying partner's responsiveness to these needs. Through creating safety in the initial stages...

In this heartfelt interview, Ashlee Boyson shares her powerful story of overcoming devastating betrayal and loss. Starting from the time she became distant from her husband following the birth of their fifth child, Ashlee describes the overwhelming anxiety and turmoil she faced, culminating in discovering her husband's infidelity and his tragic murder. Throughout her journey, Ashlee grappled with...

In this episode I share a question from a listener coping with life after divorce. Men tend to have less social support than women, often due to couple and family friendships being more driven by the women. This can leave men feeling isolated and lonely after divorce if those friendships ended when the marriage dissolved. Join me as I discuss the emotional, spiritual, and relational recovery neede...

There is a metaphor used in the Boy Scouts called the “blood circle”. To summarize, it encourages young boys to create an area around you where you are less likely to cut someone with your pocket knife. In this episode we are using this metaphor as it relates to unintentionally hurting others, specifically in the context of rebuilding trust in relationships. Join us as we discuss the importance of...

How do you deal with coercion and emotional immaturity from other people? Do you defend yourself, disengage, or meet the other person at their level and try to play their game? In this episode we discuss the importance of disengaging from unhealthy interactions, not engaging in defense, and focusing on our own actions and reactions. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery : Download Relay a...

I was recently invited to be a guest on the “Therapy Brothers” podcast. In this thought-provoking episode, Brannon Patrick and I delve into the complex and crucial topic of rebuilding trust in relationships affected by betrayal. We explore the foundational role of honesty in the healing process, discuss the challenges and misconceptions about trust recovery, and share personal insights and profess...

Sobriety, safety, support, and stability are crucial in the aftermath of addiction and betrayal, and can be found in both inpatient and outpatient treatment scenarios. Join me as I outline the importance of personalized considerations, support systems, and cost implications in making the decision between inpatient and outpatient treatment for addiction and mental health issues. The Power of Commun...

Discovering you have been betrayed is an extreme life-altering moment. Knowing what to do or where to turn next can feel insurmountable. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the betrayed partner. Join me as I outline encouraging messages and steps to help you through the disclosure process and moving forward. The Power of Community in Pornography Recovery : Download Relay and try...

The road after a betrayal and disclosure can be long and arduous. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the recovering partner who is inevitably facing extreme discomfort and uncertainty. Stepping into disclosure is an intense, demanding experience, but the aftermath is the time to really do the work as an individual and to support your partner in their new reality. The Power of C...

The need to be accepted, combined with the fear of abandonment and rejection can lead us into becoming what other people want us to be while hiding who we truly are. This can drive us to deceit, manipulation, lies, and betrayal. In this episode I have invited Dr. Robert Glover to discuss his book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. Join us as we discuss the need for emotional honesty and authenticity in orde...

This week we are re-visiting an episode that aired one year ago, but is an important topic that is continually relevant as we navigate the ups and downs of life. Life is full of situations that are out of our control. Once we have recovered from the initial shock of what has happened, how do we proceed? Do we continue to live as if we are powerless? Or do we make choices that we can control to hea...

It's common for betrayed partners to wonder if they'll ever be themselves again. Enduring sleepless nights, constant stress, and regular emotional breakdowns can cause doubt that there can be a future worth looking forward to. This month we are going to focus on how betrayed partners can build resilience in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited therapist and betrayal expert, Kaylee Dunn, to dis...

Narcissism has gained momentum in everyday conversation. While many individuals exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic tendencies, true Narcissistic Personality Disorder needs much more attention and diagnosing than a mere accusation. In this episode we welcome Tony Overbay to discuss the difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism. Join us as we break down both and the importance of u...