Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail Throughout my recovery journey, I have gotten into the habit of writing down personal revelations or impactful quotes that I come across to document my experiences and insights. Many of these made a profound impact on my perception of things, so I wanted to share some of them with you today. This week’s episode 284 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about control, fear, faith,...

Send us Fan Mail I recently came across the phrase, “Stop extending the life of your problems.” This resonated with me because before I got into recovery, I hadn’t realized I was massively extending the life of my problems for DECADES on end by ruminating on the past and catastrophizing about the future. This, I have come to realize, is a very common trait for those of us in ACA (Adult Children of...

Send us Fan Mail It’s no secret that boundaries are the key to reclaiming your power, honoring your needs, and living life on your terms. And me showing up week after week on the podcast to lay the foundation for boundary setting is one thing, but hearing the real-life stories of those of us who are taking action and setting boundaries in our lives is inspiring on a whole new level! This week’s ep...

Send us Fan Mail Recognizing and overcoming codependence can be a profound and life-changing journey, but undoing the deeply engrained layers of this behavior is not easy. I found this out the hard way after hitting what I call my “codependence bottom” after inviting my homeless friend to stay with me, leading to feeling trapped in my own home, and coming to the conclusion that I was codependent....

Send us Fan Mail For those who have a loved one who is an alcoholic, you understand the uphill battle of finding the right words that will finally get through to them. But the reality is, we are just as powerless over alcohol as the alcoholic is and there is nothing we can do or say that will magically change their addiction. Laurel found this out the hard way and joins me on the podcast today as...

Send us Fan Mail Content Warning: This episode has brief mentions of the sexual abuse of a child.  One of the things covered in The Solution, a foundational document in ACA is that we will free ourselves from the shame and blame carried over from the past. Shame is just about one of the worst feelings in the world so to avoid it, we can get into the habit of displacing this feeling by blaming othe...

Send us Fan Mail In ACA we say that shame is the legacy of adult children and it is passed down from generation to generation. That’s why we feel shame for things that “normal” people don’t. This week’s episode 278 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about breaking free from generational shame and humiliation! In this episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing how, despite the sayin...

Send us Fan Mail Whether you’re in recovery or not, you may have heard the saying, “If you’re hysterical, it’s historical.” This phrase refers to the times in our lives when we may have an emotional reaction that felt completely out of proportion to the situation at hand and gives some insight into some unresolved trauma from our past. This week’s episode 277 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us in ACA have had to pretend our entire lives in order to feel safe or get our needs met. We acted as though our family was one way knowing full well that was not the case behind closed doors. So let me be clear: acting “as if” is not the same as pretending. It’s a way of acting in a way that changes the long-standing patterns of behavior that keep you from moving forward...

Send us Fan Mail I have shared bits and pieces of my reparenting journey throughout my podcast episodes but I have never publicly sat down to share it all in one setting. That is… until I appeared on an episode of the Adult Child podcast with Andrea Ashley. After hearing the little bit of my story that I shared in her community which is affectionately called The Shitshow , Andrea Ashley invited me...

Send us Fan Mail If you really want to have a well-lived life, you want to focus on what you want , not so much on what you don't want. Just like the archer must focus on the target rather than the trophy, we also must focus on the task ahead rather than the result, which may not even come to pass. This week’s episode 274 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast focuses on what you want by aiming f...

Send us Fan Mail I was recently on a call with a newcomer in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) and we were walking through The ACA Solution , a foundational document in the ACA program. This document is one of the many resources we have in this 12-step program that we use to reparent ourselves, heal, and recover from our trauma. Reading this document as a whole is incre...

Send us Fan Mail In this digital world we’re living in, we’ve become so accustomed to a constant stream of notifications and content that it can feel overwhelming. But the good news is, like everything else, we can set boundaries around our digital exposure, protect our time and peace, and become more productive in the process. This week’s episode 272 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about ho...

Send us Fan Mail I notice a lot of people questioning what “normal” looks like. But it doesn’t matter what normal is for other people. What matters is what works for YOU and what fuels your energy instead of drains it. This week’s episode 271 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to embrace what fuels you in recovery! Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  Some of the talking p...

Send us Fan Mail For those of us who are co-dependent, people-pleasers, rescuers, fixers, savers, etc. it can feel extremely difficult to ask for help. But the truth is, we can’t do everything alone. Ken Dunn realized this quickly when he stepped out of his comfort zone and sought healing through meditation, adventure, and ACA. This week’s episode 270 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about be...

Send us Fan Mail If you feel like your whole life is one big dumpster fire, you may also believe it is because of circumstances out of your control. While this may be partially true, there are plenty of things that are still within your control that you have the power to change and that is what I hope to share with you today. On this week’s episode 269 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m shari...

Send us Fan Mail When you have a lifelong, ingrained pattern of people-pleasing behavior, it can be extremely difficult to undo, especially when it is a behavior we believe is keeping us safe. But I am living proof that it can be undone and it all starts with awareness. This week’s episode 268 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to find freedom from people-pleasing habits! Support the...

Send us Fan Mail I didn’t understand until I got into recovery that all of my attempts to connect with other people were in fact, me chasing them. I didn’t realize that in both my romantic relationships and friendships I was putting way more work into maintaining the relationship than they were. True connection means each person has a balanced commitment and emotional investment in the relationshi...

Send us Fan Mail Learning that I had a victim mentality and coming out of it was - hands down - the biggest mindset shift from my recovery. For that reason, this has been a huge topic of conversation on the podcast and something I will continue talking about as things come up to help others do the same. This week’s episode 266 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about how to stop victimizing you...

Send us Fan Mail Most of us have never been taught to manage our feelings, making this one of the most difficult parts of recovery. When we have been accustomed to pushing our feelings aside, we lose the ability to recognize our feelings or generate our own feelings, and therefore, never get to a place of feeling things on purpose. This week’s episode 265 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is abou...

Send us Fan Mail I had an experience recently that I now refer to as “the pit of doom.” In reflection, I realized that the tools I have gained from recovery have allowed me to recover from this experience in a matter of weeks, whereas, before recovery, this would have weighed on me for years . This week’s episode 264 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast is about the 10 self-care strategies I used to...

Send us Fan Mail Living with roommates can be challenging, especially when people aren’t pulling their weight with housework. For those of us with a history of people-pleasing and co-dependency, it can be even more difficult to undo the behaviors we have allowed for so long and set boundaries around our peace. On episode 263 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I help Melanie, another coaching clie...

Send us Fan Mail Since last week’s coaching call was so successful, I wanted to continue the podcast coaching series with another client, Erika. She joins me today hoping to find serenity through a difficult breakup while co-parenting their child and still living under the same roof.  On episode 262 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I help Erika find serenity through self-care and managing her e...

Send us Fan Mail I am doing something different on the podcast this week by hosting a live coaching call with a client to show what working with a boundaries coach might look like. On episode 261 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I am joined by Nancy as we navigate the difficult situations she is dealing with in the workplace. Support the show by becoming a Patreon member !  Some of the things N...

Send us Fan Mail Content Warning: This episode contains mentions of suicide and suicide attempts.  The trauma we experience as children stays with us and can manifest into mindset blocks, negative self-worth, and coping mechanisms that turn into addiction. Today’s guest Wendy Foster shares how, through recovery, she was able to overcome her addiction, take her power back, and help others do the sa...