Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail Many people in recovery don't even realize that they GET TO think their own thoughts, make their own decisions and focus on their own lives and not go by what others think, say or feel about them. Learning that we have the right to think, say, feel, believe and do whatever WE went can be a game changer for us in recovery. It was for me - I didn't even realize I was so pr...

Send us Fan Mail Boundaries help us enjoy our loved ones and our time, and they reduce stress and overwhelm. To have boundaries means to live intentionally. This episode will help you set boundaries to more authentically connect with others so you're not drained. Specific scripts are provided. Happy holidays! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail If your life is unmanageable, this episode gives examples of getting to a life that's manageable. Inspired by the new Mr. Rogers movie, this episode also talks about how things we may have been taught were "unmentionable" actually are mentionable. It also suggests asking for mercy instead of cursing things that frustrate us.  ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail If your thinking is clouded and chaotic, your boundaries are a mess, you want everyone else and the world around you to change, perhaps you need some clarity. This episode will help you understand how the 12 steps can bring clarity so you can life a live that is happy, joyous and free. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail If you need help to change the negative self talk in your head, this episode is for you. It's just affirmations - no intro, not outro, just affirmations. Listen once and make note of the affirmations that resonate best with you, or listen repeatedly to them all. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail One of the greatest gifts of recovery is freedom of choice - the freedom choose what we do and do not want to think, believe and do. Before recovery, I didn't even know I WASN'T making choices! I talk about that here, and about how recovery and my Higher Power have given me the gift of choice. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail I talk about how unrealistic expectations made my life unmanageable and was one of my worst defects of character, and how I learned to let them go. This not only helped me let go of resents from the past, but prevented resentments in the future. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail The body's natural response to threats, whether perceived or real, is to fight, flee or freeze. I share how recovery has helped me reprogram my internal response to threat, as well as some tools for how to manage stressful situations while they're happening. The more we reduce the number of stressful episodes we have, the easier it becomes to stay in peace and serenity....

Send us Fan Mail This episode will show you that there is another way to live inside your head besides assuming the worst is always going to happen. Living like that keeps us from experiencing our lives in the present moment of reality, in addition to making us anxious and upset. We do this because we (oddly) think it's going to make our lives better, but in fact, it makes our lives worse! Yo...

Send us Fan Mail Sometimes the very same behavior can be healthy or unhealthy, it depends on your motivation. In this episode, I share what I've learned about the difference between helping vs rescuing, healthy alone time vs isolation, privacy vs secrecy and dissociation vs having fun. Changing your motivation can help you change your unhealthy behaviors. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail If you're in a relationship or family system where you're not allowed to have your own identity or opinions, then you're likely enmeshed with those others and this episode will help you get un-enmeshed. I give examples of some of the ways that I began getting out of enmeshed relationships that might be helpful to you. Hint: start small and keep practicing! ★ Support...

Send us Fan Mail I describe some examples of coming to understand my part in things in an effort to help you understand your part in the chaos and drama of your life so you can stop doing those things! Learning my part in things has been the most important gift (by far) of my recovery because it enabled me to stop doing those things and reduced the chaos by about 85%! ★ Support this podcast on Pat...

Send us Fan Mail Recovery programs are programs of action, not of thinking or believing. This episode addresses why that is the case, and gives methods for how to behave your way into new thinking. You'll understand that what you DO is much more important than what you THINK. Check out the " Feelings, Not Fixing " bundle of curated content. This bundle is for people who struggle wit...

Send us Fan Mail Stinkin' thinkin' is when the thoughts we think over and over again are negative, which affects what we pay attention to in the world and our interactions with others. If you've had negative beliefs about yourself, and seem to always find evidence that those beliefs are true, then this episode will help you get over that. Just because you believe something doesn&apo...

Send us Fan Mail If you have a high tolerance for dysfunction you might be in denial about your own behavior. This can lead to you being dishonest with yourself and others. The story I share here shows how I was dishonest about my codependent behavior and how I compromised my own integrity for years before I realized it in recovery. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail Learn to stop giving too much information to others, especially when you're setting a boundary or negotiating. This reduces the chances that others can dispute what you're saying and makes it easier to act. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail The difference between isolating and healthy alone time is how it affects your energy. If you're fending off the world by isolating yourself, that's draining your energy. But if you're doing things that rejuvenate you and give you joy, that's healthy alone time. Switching what you're doing while alone  can change how you experience time alone, and can incr...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode I discuss humility as meaning you're no better and no worse than anyone else. That goes for people who think they're better than other people AND people who think they're worse than other people. The key to getting past this is to listen to others in the rooms of recovery so that you know that you're not "uniquely flawed," and to stop...

Send us Fan Mail Control is an issue for just about everyone in recovery, and this episode addresses how to back away from being so controlling. Using a Chinese proverb, Barb shares a new perspective on what it means to try to control others and how to let go of that. "It's better to put slippers on your feet than to carpet the world." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail This slogan helps remind us to keep the focus on the present, rather than living into "the wreckage of the future." In this episode, you will learn how to keep the focus on yourself in the here and now so as to not live into the wreckage of the future. Doing this will result in much less worry and anxiety. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail People who grow up in dysfunctional families are often riddled with guilt and shame, often in profound and debilitating ways. This episode will help you understand where it comes from and shows the method I used of profoundly decreasing the effects of such shame and guilt. I give examples of my experience with deep shame and how I've handled it, and how it's effects have...

Send us Fan Mail If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, chances are you're in denial about a lot of things, like perhaps you think of abusive and dysfunctional behaviors as normal. Or you don't remember large chunks of your childhood. Or you've never seen things as connected that are related to each other. In this episode I share my journey from denial to clarity through the 12 s...

Send us Fan Mail If you get drained and resentful about helping others, you want to hear this episode! In it you will learn to tell the difference between being helpful to others and rescuing others. The difference has to do with our motives, even if we can't see those motives. Listen in to get some clues about the motives behind your helpful behaviors. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail In this episode the differences between discovery and recovery are laid out, as are the differences between relief and recovery. Many people come into the rooms of 12 step recovery and "discover" what is wrong with them, thinking that is enough. Others come into the rooms and find some measure of relief and leave thinking they're done. Neither of these result in the...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Barb's coaching client "S" shares why she decided to hire Barb as a coach rather than someone else, what it's like to be coached by Barb and her most important takeaways from their coaching relationship. If you've been helped by this podcast, then a private coaching relationship with Barb just might be the thing for you! Listening to this w...