Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

Send us Fan Mail The Serenity Prayer is one of the most popular prayers in the world, but I think the opening is backwards. I learned acceptance and THEN got serenity. I give an example of what I mean by that using traffic. I also talk about how the Serenity Prayer is essentially about learning where our boundaries should be. Pilot group coaching program, "6 Weeks to Better Boundaries with Ba...

Send us Fan Mail Being comfortable in my own skin and not being mired in fear are two very important reasons why sex is sooooo much better in recovery than it was before recovery! Being able to be vulnerable with your partner and communicate directly also helps. Listen in to hear ways you might be able to improve your sex life from being in recovery! The two links I mention are here: FREE webinar...

Send us Fan Mail " It's easier to put slippers on your feet than to carpet the world " is a Chinese proverb. The carpet metaphor is used in this episode to illustrate the issue of control. I talk about how we can learn to stop trying to control others (carpet the world) and work on controlling ourselves (put slippers on our feet). This an example of what the Serenity Prayer refers t...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode I talk about moving away from the black-and-white thinking that if we're flawed, that means we're not awesome. It's perfectly normal to be flawed, and it's ok to let others see your flaws. When you accept your own flaws, you'll become more accepting of other people's flaws too! If you want monthly inspiration in your inbox, sign up for...

Send us Fan Mail You don't have to believe the thoughts running through your head! This pertains to thoughts about yourself (like "I'm not enough") as well as  thoughts about others and the world. If you're not choosing your thoughts * on purpose ,* especially if they're negative - think again! You don't have to believe a thought just because it's in your he...

Send us Fan Mail When someone doesn't show up when expected, we might be tempted to think, " something happened !" This usually has a negative connotation, like they were in an accident. However, when we think, " something came up " it's neutral and not likely to send is into a tailspin of negativity and anxiety. You can purposely choose this "thought work"...

Send us Fan Mail You don't have to do things you don't want to over the holidays! This includes attending events, exchanging gifts, spending money or having uncomfortable conversations. You'll learn a variety of tips for setting boundaries for the holidays, including some specific scripts so use and scenarios in which to use them. I also recommend checking out this website for the C...

Send us Fan Mail Many of us come into recovery believing we're "terminally unique" or that we're "uniquely flawed." What we learn is that we're NOT terminally unique, and that there are many are many others like us. You are not alone, there are many others like you, and you DO belong. Here's the link to my FREE webinar " How to Enjoy the Boundaries by S...

Send us Fan Mail The ability to believe in new possibilities is at the heart of our ability to change. Gaining a new perspective on our lives and our problems opens us up to new possibilities. The way we think about things is often the source of our difficulties, rather than the situations themselves.  If you'd like to change things in your life, this episode will give you ideas for how to ge...

Send us Fan Mail Sometimes we don't realize we even had an expectation until it wasn't met. Whether that's true for you, or you KNOW you had an expectation about something, you'll learn how to "unhook" from those expectations even after the situation is over! This will melt your resentment about not having your expectation met. Please follow me on Instagram @HigherPow...

Send us Fan Mail This episode covers several ways to reduce your emotional pain. It covers how to take advantage of the power of your "thinking brain" to help you clean up your negative thinking; practicing self care and connecting with others.    Please follow me on Instagram @HigherPowerCoaching , and check out my podcast website fragmentedtowhole.com .  Be sure to leave a rating of my...

Send us Fan Mail If you are truly committed to changing your ways, this episode is for you! The process of changing our lives is what 12 step recovery is all about. In this episode, you'll learn a way of becoming "entirely ready" (not just "somewhat ready") to change your life. I'll walk you through a process to think through what you've been doing that's be...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I clear up the distinction between what's private and what's secret. Private matters have to do with  setting healthy boundaries. Secrets have to do with hiding our shame. I use the example of personal finances to illustrate the difference between privacy and secrecy. This distinction is hard for people with unhealthy boundaries to understand. So if the...

Send us Fan Mail The natural consequences of negative behavior are typically negative. However, many people buffer, block or filter the consequences of other's behavior by enabling them. Enabling is when we fix, solve, or make the consequences for someone's behavior go away. This episode will give you an understanding what natural consequences are, how they work and how to allow them.  Y...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode I teach you the step by step process I used to stop beating myself up. It starts with realizing that s****y things you say to yourself, then realizing, "This is not working! Beating myself up is not improving my life!" Once you get that, then you stop saying negative things to yourself, and you replace them with positive things. Don't buy it? Listen...

Send us Fan Mail If you'd like to stop making your decisions based on fear, this episode will help. I talk about how using the tools of recovery, and especially "acting as if" helps with this. I also explain what's happening with the conscious and subconscious mind in this process to give you a better understanding of why "acting as if" is so beneficial. Please follow...

Send us Fan Mail Most people who come to recovery have chaotic lives and  need all the help we can get to manage our lives. Using smart phone apps can be incredibly helpful in staying in touch with others in recovery, listening to recovery meetings, managing time and finances, etc. I talk about the top apps I use and how I use them to stay happy, joyous and free. This is the second of a 2 part ser...

Send us Fan Mail Most people who come to recovery have chaotic lives and  need all the help we can get to manage our lives. Using smart phone apps can be incredibly helpful in staying in touch with others in recovery, listening to recovery meetings, managing time and finances, etc. I talk about the top apps I use and how I use them to stay happy, joyous and free. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon...

Send us Fan Mail When we enable other people's addiction and dysfunction, we're allowing them to NOT face the consequences of their behavior. We serve as a buffer for their difficult behavior so they don't have to feel those effects. We're not helping them! To stop we have to learn to keep the focus on ourselves and allow them to feel the consequences of their behavior. ★ Suppo...

Send us Fan Mail If you've lied, and withheld information, and kept things from people your whole life like I did, you know what a prison that can be. If you're currently still unable to tell the truth and be open, also know that prison. Becoming able to tell the truth and about what we really want, think and feel is freeing. We are no longer burdened with the fear of being found out. An...

Send us Fan Mail If you suffer from feeling that you're not enough or don't have enough, this episode may help. Comparing yourself to others is potentially endless - you can always find someone who has it better than you. That means it's almost always a losing battle. This is especially so when we compare our inner life to someone else's outer life. We simply don't know wh...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode you'll learn just how the 12 steps allow us to clean up the wreckage of the past, heal lifelong wounds, and transform. We become happy, joyous and free and are no longer seeking to take from the world, but to give.  ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Send us Fan Mail If you have difficulty making decisions, this episode should be helpful. You'll learn strategies such as minimizing the number of decisions you need to make. You'll also learn how focusing on your decision-making process rather than the outcome of your decisions leads to better decisions. You'll also learn how to hone your intuition and to move past perfectionism. ★...

Send us Fan Mail I realized early in recovery that I'd been expecting other people to read my mind. I came to understand, with the help of some of my fellows in recovery, that this was because that's how I thought it worked. I'd been trying to read other people's minds my whole life, so why weren't they reading my mind?? (forget about the fact that I was not actually readi...

Send us Fan Mail The recovery process, just as any process of personal growth, is in large part one of changing perspective. In this episode I cover the perspective shift where we move from "I HAVE to _" to "I GET to _." In other words, we shift to thinking about these new behavior changes from being burdens to being privileges. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★