Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy

What does it actually mean to “hold space” for someone? In this talk, Dr. Brad Reedy explores containing: taking in another person with compassion, patience, curiosity, and non-judgment, especially when they’re hurting, dysregulated, or not making sense. Containing isn’t listening to someone being reasonable. It’s staying present with their pain, their defenses, their anger, and their irrational t...

Dr. Brad Reedy explores artificial intelligence, self-help, and the difference between having information and doing our healing work. He explains that our relationship with AI is only as good as our mental health: we can use it to ask better questions and consider new perspectives, or to reinforce what we already believe. Drawing on his own experience and his work with clients, Brad discusses the...

Dr. Reedy, interviews Finding You's coach and facilitator Beth Hillman. Beth shares her story of parenting a child struggling with substance used disorder. She talks about her approach and working with parents, emphasizing the need for self compassion and forgiveness for anyone working to support a struggling child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A Child's Greatest Burden Jung believed that the heaviest thing a child carries is the unlived life of the parent. He wasn't talking about the parent who chased a dream and fell short. He meant the life a parent avoided: the risks never taken, the fears never faced, the feelings never allowed. That unfinished business doesn't disappear. It gets handed down. In this episode, Dr. Brad Re...

Why don't we do the things we know would bring us closer to the people we love? We're not short on instructions. Speak your truth. Tell your story. Be vulnerable. But a script for intimacy doesn't create intimacy - because the barrier was never knowing what to say. It's what happens in your body when you try. Last night's episode: Creating Intimacy. The shift from doing to being, why "just communi...

Dr. Reedy talks about how in marriage we often project onto our partners things which are our responsibility. He explains that when we ask our partners to be responsible for our peace, we will use punishment to manipulate and control them. He explains that individual work must form the foundation of the work we do in couples. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy, discusses mythology and the Odyssey. He explains that the story of Odysseus and his journey home is about the journey back to ourselves. He emphasizes the patience required to reverse this journey. He talks about the costs we pay along the way. And eventually, like Odysseus, the new version of ourselves may become unrecognizable and unacceptable to the people that expect us to be who we...

Dr. Reedy discusses the impact on the development of the child when a warm, resonant part is present. He discusses the impact of affluence on a family's process around boundaries. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses the trend of people going no contact with their family members. He explains how to respond when someone shares that they want to go no contact. He explains why people do and don't set such a boundary with family. members. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy takes questions from the Inner Circle audience. He talks about the difference between sharing your feelings and asking others to be responsible for your feelings. He talks about the challenge when children don't forgive parents. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy talks about what is required for us to be able to listen to the people that we love. He explains that unless we do our healing and account for our energy and capacity, listening to somebody share their painful feelings about us may feel like self betrayal. He explains that listening is one of loves other names. And the act of doing our healing work, may be the greatest act of love we can...

Dr. Reedy discusses the impact of parental anxiety, especially anxiety that is un-owned by the parent, on the child. He explains that the child will interpret this distress in the parent as "something is wrong we me, the child." He also describes how a parent's nervous system becomes the blueprint for the child's developing nervous system and sense e of Self. He describes the coping strategies emp...

Dr. Reedy discuss the negative influence of guilt on our lives and our relationships. He minimizes the often cited distinction between guilt and shame and talks about how both are obstacles on our journey towards mental health and intimacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy reviews what he considers to be the most important book written on the subject of child development and mental health. Alice Miller writes in her book, “Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery of the truth about the unique history of our childhood…we must try, in a long process, to discover our ow...

Dr. Reedy explains the diagnosis of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and the wound that creates it. He explains the connection between this wound, defenses, and gaslighting. He talks about how narcissism isn't too much love or indulgence, but rather objectifying the child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy takes question from the audience on taking care of yourself and setting boundaries with your family to do so. He also talks about how our defense, our need to be good, will often result in gaslighting type behaviors. He takes question on how our children are our teachers and how symptoms can inform us about ourselves and others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information...

Dr. Reedy discusses psychodynamic informed therapy and how many of what we hear today is 100 years old. We just weren't ready to hear it when Freud and Jung were alive. He talks about the core of their work (and what people call "trauma-informed") is based on the idea that symptoms are messengers that we need to listen to rather than get rid of. He explains that the therapeutic relationship is the...

Dr. Reedy discusses faith in the context of depth psychology. He discusses spiritual bypassing, shame based religions, and how faith is not a search for certainty but a way of holding paradox and the mystery of what it means to be a finite person in an infinite universe. He explains how some versions of faith and religion serve as a defense against the uncertainty of life - how god can get in the...

Dr. Reedy addresses the barriers we encounter when we set boundaries. He talks about needing to be right vs. being a self. He explains how we try to change other people so we don't have to face changing ourselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the live audience. He addresses the practical look/steps/feel of the work we are engaged in on our therapeutic journey. He talks about loneliness on the journey. And he explains the best way to invite loved ones into the work with you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses the parallels between logical fallacies and addictive thinking, defined in "Addictive Thinking" as an inability to reason with oneself. He defines several fallacies and their psychological and relationship dynamics. He emphasizes the development of an inner-compass, in contrast to other methods for vetting truth. He discusses Kant's idea of the categorical imperative which stat...

Dr. Reedy explains the difference between Big and Small T Trauma. He explains that in therapy, even when we are talking about the Big T story, we are still treating the Small t Trauma. He also discusses popular self-help ideas that he disagrees with. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy responds to questions from the Inner Circle Audience on matters of what is meant by "No" is a complete sentence, the pitfalls in empathizing with others at the cost of honoring our own feelings, and what is meant by the phrase "Do you work." Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses healthy masculinity and the lives of men. He explains that when people are describing masculinity they are often describing feminine characteristics. He points out that we talk about toxic masculine and healthy feminine but don't often hear about the healthy masculine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discuss the concept and tools of inner child work. He explains that this tool is a way of meditating on what and how we feel. It is an attempt to reconnect with the authentic self that was cast off in childhood in order to protect parents' ego, prevent abandonment, and take on parental feelings of inadequacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.