Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundw...

Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and...

In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience...

In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a...

In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and n...

In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for communit...

Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for...

Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentali...

Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fun...

Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robb...

Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I he...

I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now. In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this wi...

This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break! New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, fo...

Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard. A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later...

Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experi...

My sister Chie joins me to talk about our evolving understanding of self-care and emotional regulation. We are both survivors navigating life and CPTSD. I hope you'll join us for some laughter and real talk. Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies. Internal Family Systems Ther...

Obelis is a Lithuanian Fantasy and LGBTQ+ comic artist. Her work includes War & Tea, Meow Are You?, and The Recloseted Lesbian. Obelis tried to come out as a lesbian but was forced back into the closet by her ultra-religious, homophobic, and abusive mother. In The Recloseted Lesbian she deconstructs and processes memories from her abusive childhood. It has been read by over 21 million people o...

Kalpashree Gupta joins me to share her journey in healing from childhood sexual abuse. We discuss letting go of shame and blame, what forgiveness means to her, breaking cycles of family trauma, and where she's found strength, grace, and empowerment. Kalpa is the CEO and founder of Knekxt Group, a consulting and coaching company helping her clients build trust, and mitigate risks while also cr...

Michelle M. Kang is the founder and president of One Life One Heart, a nonprofit organization which helps underserved sexual abuse survivors by offering culturally sensitive community support. She has dedicated herself to creating safe spaces where survivors can feel heard, regain their self-confidence, and fulfill their purpose in life. Michelle was born in South Korea, she has PhDs in Linguistic...

Paula Mulamula is the host of the Mental Health podcast, Talk Shit With P where she focuses on real talk and breaking the stigma surrounding mental health issues. Today Paula is breaking her silence and sharing her story of surviving sexual assault and reclaiming her power post-trauma.  She also shares how podcasting helped her find her way out of depression, how faith has re-entered her life and...

Emi is a survivor of family sexual abuse; she was molested by a family member over a long period of time as a young kid. After spending over a decade hiding from her past she decided to try to heal from it. Her healing journey led her to starting her own podcast: Motherful: Powerful Moms, Powerful Topics. Her co-host is her best friend Kayla, together they tackle the many difficult social and ment...

Hollis Brown's platform as Miss Wisconsin USA is focused on survivor advocacy, and she’s a part of End Violence Against Women International’s “Start By Believing” campaign. Today Hollis speaks about her assault in college, how trauma changed her life, where she has found strength, and the work she’s doing in the world. Originally from Savannah, Georgia and now residing in Milwaukee, Hollis Br...

Part 2 of my conversation with Kaitlin Bellamy about what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and y...

Kaitlin Bellamy shares what it was like for her growing up in the Mormon Church and discusses the ways that purity culture contributed to the abuse she experienced in her marriage. Purity Culture grooms people to enable, accept, and perpetrate abuse and assault. She shares her healing journey now that she is free to be her full, authentic self. Kaitlin Bellamy is a professional actor and young adu...

In 2006 I was assaulted and stalked by a monk in India. In this episode I share my journal entries recording this experience and then discuss the ways this trauma has affected my life. I discuss the intersecting issues of race, culture, and gender; as well as the importance of anti-racism work in trauma healing. I share the way that being assaulted while menstruating can affect the way trauma is e...