Feminist Wellness

#386: Do you ever find yourself giving to others while quietly wondering if your own needs are being met? Are you unsure how to identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want? In this episode, I explore the often overlooked patterns that make it hard to distinguish your genuine wants and needs from the expectations of those around you. By the end of this episode, you’ll underst...

#385: Do you feel like your confidence vanished when the structure, role, or life you relied on disappeared? Have you ever wondered why you feel shaky, uncertain, or like a stranger to yourself after major life transitions? This week, I explore what happens to our confidence after a rupture and how to rebuild it in a way that is truly yours. I dive into the difference between borrowed confidence a...

Tenderoni Hotline #37: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust. In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you ca...

#384: Do you ever feel like your nervous system is on autopilot, constantly stuck in survival mode, and that a quick "reset" could somehow erase all your stress and trauma? Tune in this week as I unpack why there is no magic button to instantly reset your nervous system, and why chasing one might actually make things worse. We dive into what your nervous system is really doing when it reacts to st...

#383: Ever feel like the roles in your life - partner, parent, friend, employee - are colliding in ways that leave you exhausted and unsure of who you are supposed to be? In this episode, I’m unpacking the subtle and pervasive experience of role confusion and how it can sneak into your life without you even realizing it. We explore how taking on others’ expectations, trying to manage everyone’s em...

Tenderoni Hotline #36: A listener recently wrote in with a request: please stop calling your audience "my love/my beauty." In this episode, I respond to that message and explore the deeper questions underneath it. Why do terms of endearment feel comforting to some people and uncomfortable to others? What happens when trauma teaches us that closeness, care, or tenderness are things to be wary of? A...

#382: Do you find yourself stuck in the same emotional loops, beating yourself up when things don’t go as planned, or folding around boundaries because the perfectionist story in your mind says you should? This week, we’re exploring how real self-compassion helps you stay with yourself in uncomfortable moments without spiraling, shutting down, or reverting to old habits. I also share how dead-end...

#381: What happens when you stop people pleasing and the people around you are no longer pleased? If the thought of setting boundaries, speaking up, or disappointing someone makes your nervous system panic, this episode will hit home. I explore why so many of us stay stuck in over-functioning, over-giving, and self-abandonment, and why growth often comes with discomfort from the people who benefit...

Tenderoni Hotline #35: What if your relationship with food has far less to do with willpower and far more to do with your nervous system? In this deeply thoughtful and delightfully nerdy conversation, I’m joined by Ali Shapiro, MS, CHHC, holistic nutritionist, creator of the Truce with Food method, host of the The Truce with Food podcast (formerly The Insatiable podcast), and 33-year cancer surviv...

#380: Are you actually ready for coaching, or do you just want your life to feel different? In this episode, I unpack the difference between wanting change and being truly available for change. If you’ve been reading the books, listening to the podcasts, and trying to heal your codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, this conversat...

Tenderoni Hotline #34: What do you do when every boundary, request, or honest conversation somehow gets turned back around on you? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore victim mindset dynamics in relationships and the exhausting emotional loops they create, especially for folks healing codependency, people pleasing, and emotional outsourcing. This conversation unpacks what happens when som...

Why do apologies feel so vulnerable, so loaded, and sometimes almost impossible to give sincerely? In this first episode of my new series, The Work, I unpack the emotional outsourcing habits that shape the way we approach apologies, responsibility, defensiveness, shame, and conflict. You’ll learn the difference between intent and impact, why “I’m sorry but…” disconnects instead of repairs, and how...

Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why do some people default to fight mode instead of people-pleasing? And can someone with developmental trauma actually learn to feel safe in love? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the hidden relationship between emotional outsourcing, chronic nervous system activation, and the fight response. If you’ve ever felt constantly braced, reactive, angry, burnt out, or...

#378: Are you tired of being told to "just let it out" when you're feeling furious, only to find the rage is still there once the dust settles? We’ve been sold a story that human emotions work like a plumbing system - that if we don't discharge the pressure, we’ll eventually explode. But what if the very tools we’re using to "heal" are actually just teaching our bodies to stay stuck? In this episo...

My love, what actually happens when you stop outsourcing your worth and start working with your nervous system? In this episode, Rowan and Antonina share their experience inside The Somatic Studio, where they completed a 12 week deep dive into somatic work and nervous system healing. This is a grounded, honest conversation about what shifts when you begin regulating your body, building self trust,...

#377: What if saying “I’m overwhelmed” is sometimes about more than just naming your exhaustion? If you’ve been living in chronic overdrive, collapsing under endless demands, or feeling trapped between doing too much and shutting down completely, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface of overwhelm itself. In this episode, I unpack how overwhelm is not only a real nervous system state...

Tenderoni Hotline #31: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where I answer your most heartfelt questions about healing, nervous system care, and coming home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re answering two beautiful and important questions from our community. First, we’re talking about what to do with a lifetim...

#376: Have you ever found yourself staying in a relationship out of obligation, fear, or guilt… only to feel exhausted and unfulfilled? If you’ve struggled to assess whether a relationship is truly serving you or draining you, this episode is for you. For recovering emotional outsourcers, the idea of reassessing our connections can feel like an act of betrayal or failure. But in this episode, I’m...

Tenderoni Hotline #30: If you have ever been called too independent, emotionally guarded, or hard to get close to, this episode is for you. Because hyper-independence is not just a personality trait. It is often a nervous system strategy that formed to keep you safe. In this Tenderoni Hotline, we explore a quieter, often overlooked side of emotional outsourcing. Not the people pleasing or overgivi...

#375: Why does reclaiming rest still feel so uncomfortable, even when you know you need it? If you’ve ever found yourself filling every quiet moment, pushing through exhaustion, or feeling guilty the second you slow down, this episode will hit close to home. In this episode, I explore rest beyond the basics and introduce five less obvious but deeply needed types of rest that your nervous system ma...

Tenderoni Hotline #29: Can you be codependent without trauma, and why does something as small as noise send your nervous system into overdrive? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the reality that you do not need a dramatic or chaotic backstory to learn self-abandonment. Many of us grew up in loving, “normal” homes and still developed patterns of people-pleasing, overthinking, and emotio...

#374: What if the reason your relationships feel so intense, fragile, or all-consuming isn’t because you care too much… but because your sense of safety is tied to them? And what if self-resourcing could actually deepen connections instead of taking them away? In this episode, I build on our conversation about self-resourcing and answer the big question so many people have: Does learning to have y...

Tenderoni Hotline #28: You’ve done the work. You’ve built self-awareness, learned how to regulate your nervous system, and started to trust yourself more deeply. Then you go home and suddenly you’re people-pleasing, over-functioning, and second-guessing everything again. If that feels familiar, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we’re talking about what actually happens wh...

#373: What if learning to take care of yourself didn’t make you more alone, but actually helped you feel more connected? In this episode, I unpack what self-resourcing really means beyond the buzzword and how it works in your nervous system. I explore why so many folks worry that focusing on themselves will lead to isolation, and why the opposite is actually true. Tune in this week to learn how se...

Tenderoni Hotline #27: Hello, my love. If you’ve ever been told to “calm down” and felt your anger spike instead of settle, or found yourself feeling anxious, nauseous, or completely overwhelmed at the thought of making a simple phone call, you are so not alone. In this episode, we gently unpack what is really happening in your body in those moments. We explore why “calm down” can feel so deeply i...