Jess & Jonathan

Everyone's A Critic

Comedy EN ↓ 262 episodes

The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely change the recipe, then review it anyway. Amazon shoppers and their thoughts on meat by-products. With new themes to explore each episode, Jess and Jonathan hope to give voice to all the desperate internet reviewers shouting endlessly into the void. It's a comedy podcast!

Author

Jess & Jonathan

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

everyonecritic.podbean.com

Latest episode

Aug 16, 2023

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Episodes

Ep 185: Piss, Pickles, and Onion Juice 23.02.2022

In today's show, I ruin my stomach forever, Jess exposes the secrets of onion juice, and I attempt to hand squeeze an onion. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook...

Ep 184: Small Chicken Nugget Crumbs 16.02.2022

Kiss it on both sides, let it ride!  If it doesn't come back, you've done it right! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyo...

Ep 183: Fun for Lady or Brother! 09.02.2022

TONIGHT! We conclude Jess' 2-part special: Creamer?! I barely know her! We also look at reviews for stuff bachelorettes can do before their lives are ruined forever. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow c...

Ep 182: I’m a Creamer Goblin 02.02.2022

In today's show, Jess admits her biggest character flaw in her 2-part barnbuster, and I bring reviews for the best place to find hot lads. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with...

Ep 181: Jess-It-Yourself! 26.01.2022

Be not throw stones if you live in glass! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/ Listen to t...

Ep 180: I Don’t DO Chicken 19.01.2022

In today's show, Jess brings more reviews from the land where everything is BIG, and we remind ourselves why people LIKE Chilis?! Also, the rough cut of this ep was like 2 hours total. Getting it down to our usual hour+ was some kind of miracle. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEver...

Ep 179: Content for Ghouls 12.01.2022

Today we provide savory and delicious content for a wildly underserved market, with reviews for squirrels, liver, and accent chairs. You're welcome! Alternate titles for today's show include: Papadam? Papadam? Papadam? If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  forevera...

Ep 178: Determinism? Thank you. 05.01.2022

In today's show, Jess introduces the nightmarish Wheel of Wheels, we eat schnitzeled poultry at the Chicken Guy, and we go on a magical Food Network journey. The Food Network synergy was completely unintentional.  This, our funniest episode in a while, is under an hour! I genuinely don't know how we did it, given... all of it. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for...

Ep 177: It’s Your Ass, Forever 29.12.2021

My favorite hyperpop album. In today's show, Jess reads reviews for restaurants in North Dakota (???) and I bring a new recurring topic for the good times and the bad. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow...

Ep 176: Peppa‘s Hall of Horrors 22.12.2021

in today's holiday special, we're enjoying some very old pork in our favorite little book nook. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook....

Ep 175: Grandpa Laments the Outhouse 15.12.2021

Hey folks! Sheesh! This one's got "Let's Talk about Slacks, Baby!" and some reviews for naughty ornaments. Okay!? Jeeze! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan...

Ep 174: Veganuary! 08.12.2021

In today's show, Jess brings a pretentious palate of brews, we read reviews for a vegan cheese shop, and Jess declares that it is, indeed, time to eat out.  If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiraci...

Ep 173: Bun Length is Better 01.12.2021

In today's very tense episode, we talk post-punk, post-WWII architecture, and TGI Fridays. We've also got reviews for hot dogs. This episode is brought to you by sick days. SICK DAYS. It feels good when you do it, except when it doesn't anymore. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEver...

Ep 172: The Gobble Goblin Cometh 24.11.2021

Happy 2nd Halloween everyone! We're not done being spooky yet, and Jess has proven that by resurrecting the dead! (Allrecipes, that is). If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us...

Ep 171: Feels Good When You Do It! 17.11.2021

In today's jumbo-sized episode (we tried y'all), we celebrate all things infrastructure with reviews for Fort Lauderdale and Miami, as well as Central Maine Power. We also lose our fucking minds a little. FREE PUB TRIVIA made by ME this FRIDAY at 7:00 PST, twitch.tv/criticeveryone. Chill to join, no login needed, just pull up the quiz site and enjoy 6 rounds of utter madness with some fellow liste...

Ep 170: The Jessica Does It Everytime 10.11.2021

In today's cursed program, rich people waste even more money, I get sweaty at the TGI Fridays, and Jess plays Burger, Braise, Best Friend with her favorite woodland critters. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryon...

Ep 169: Clog Up My Pita 03.11.2021

Today's wordy title is brought to you by anecdotes, olives, and surprise recurring segments. This one had a 48-hour turnaround and is so, so good ya'll. Happy 169th! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow c...

Ep 168: Where‘s Your God Now, Linus? 27.10.2021

Our episodes are getting darker, same as the days and life itself. Nah, jk, it's just a Spooktober special! Lol. Haha If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Pag...

Ep 167: The Sweet Release of Death 20.10.2021

In today's show, Jess does a Talk Shit, Bring Your Own Drag, and I bring reviews for raw cookie dough shops. It's a spooky raw foods special, whether dough© like it or not! Also, Community Night tomorrow! Twitch.tv/criticeveryone, 7:00 PST. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...

Ep 166: Romaines of the Bidet 13.10.2021

In today's show, we again take a deep, nasty dive into Chipotle's wikipedia page, and Jess finds a new reason to loathe Trader Joe's. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: ...

Ep 165: Steve Combs Delivered My Baby 06.10.2021

In today's show, we ring in the 12 weeks of Christmas, Jess takes us to the worst neighborhood on Earth, and I bring reviews for White Stuff™. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester w...

Ep 164: The Lost Episode (of Kitchen Nightmares) 29.09.2021

In today's show, we look at reviews for Oceana Grill, a New Orleans restaurant that sued Kitchen Nightmares twice (and won). Meanwhile, we head back to the book nook, because we should and we're supposed to.  If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gma...

Ep 163: Let‘s Talk about Slacks! (Baby!) 22.09.2021

In today's show, J-bones debuts a sci-fi serial for no clear reason, and Jess debuts a recurring pants segment for *all* of the reasons. We haven't skipped a week in 3 years and we're STILL TAKING CREATIVE RISKS?! POR QUOI?! Community night this Friday @ 7:00 PST! Join us if you're bored! Twitch.tv/criticeveryone If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Bu...

Ep 162: Gun Owners and Gravity Falls 15.09.2021

In today's show, we explore the *wild* reviews for the roadside attraction that inspired Gravity Falls, and we also play a few *thrilling* rounds of Whale Spotting!  Also, the next Community Night is Friday the 24th! For those who mind such things. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. MERCH: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Otherwise...

Ep 161: Wall-to-Wall Peters 08.09.2021

In today's part one of yet another double record, we look at reviews for virtual game credits and Ree Drummond's goopy oatmeal bars.  How are you folks hangin' in there? Doin' okay? Hope so. In today's show, we read reviews for a toy *everybody* forgot, and we take a magical trip to the Enchanted Forest, Oregon. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Oth...

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