Everyone's A Critic

We're back! In today's show, we dive deep into Sonic the Hedgehog lore, and I mistakenly call Cream's friend "Cookies." Her friend isn't Cookies. Her friend is Cheese. Cream and Cheese. Sorry, Sega. Fuck. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail....

Alternate titles include: The Episode that Almost Wasn't, The Episode that Almost Wasn't... wait, that's it. I thought I had more. Today we've got reviews for a masturbation-themed pub in Wilsonville, Oregon AND daddy-themed foods from the Allest of AllRecipes. Unbelievable. We're likely skipping next week's upload (for the first time ever) so that we can get an episode ahead. Stay hydrated and we...

In today's show, we finally do reviews for Hickory Farms meat and cheese boxes. I honestly wish we did an exclusively Hickory Farms podcast.  I don't even remember what the rest of the show was about. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com...

Today's title is a bit of merciless SEO. But we didn't stop at nuts! This episode also has fried chicken and karaoke.  Talk about a *banger*. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester w...

In today's show, Stacy (finally) leaves the room, Jess arrogantly couches herself on our tongues, and Jacqueline learns about effervescence.  I thought I was bringing fire with shrimp reviews, but I didn't know I was up against a grad student. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEvery...

In today's show, Jess tries to keep things light with reviews for Winn-Dixie the Dog, but fails when faced with a five pound burger and a fried chicken on a spoon. We're really killin' it on this track. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.co...

In today's show, Jess begins a 4 part epic through the lore of Winn Dixie, and we take a very patriotic trip to Bonanza, Oregon (honk, honk). If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester w...

In today's show, Daddy Bezos gives our DVDs the plastic coffins they need, and we once again explore the horrifying ball pit that is Chipotle. WE LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU ARE OOOOOOKAY. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @...

In today's show, Jess hurts herself, a puppy ruins a Trader Joe's, and a dictionary flattens the elderly. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://...

In today's show, I bring us a new world of sushi on Amazon, and Jess takes Guy Fieri's hideous red car for a spin. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page:...

To celebrate episode 200, we go backwards in a major way, look at reviews for the biggest things in Canada, and keep our nonsense, for ONCE, to under an hour. Thank you all so much for stickin' around, and we'll catch you on the next one.  If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...

Today's title is brought to you by Applebee's! Spend at least 25 fucks and get a free ticket to Top Gun: Maverick! See, 'cause the title of Top Gun: Maverick is profane enough, I left it alone. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet a...

TODAY! THIS MORNING! We bring Branson Week to a dramatic conclusion, and Jess finds reviews for mouthwash that makes your tongue orange, ruins your taste buds, and damages your gums. We're keeping it LIGHT over here! FUCK! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  for...

Despite cutting a solid 30 minutes from this ep, you're still getting sick reviews for Outback Steakhouse, a discontinued Bigfoot expedition, and the world's biggest meatball and fork. C'est impossible! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.co...

In today's XXL episode, Jess brings us the Pious Parent's Guide for Disney's Dinosaur (2000), and we take in the sights, smells, and breaky breaky hearts of Branson: Day 2.  I kind of hate what I just wrote, looking back at it. Idk what to say. This episode is jam *packed* with flavor. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: http...

Like, I *just* go. Shwoop! Today's episode also marks the start of Branson week! And we get a long-time caller, first time listener. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: ...

Today's episode is a hurt locker of earthly pleasures, with reviews for garden hoses AND mall Macy's. Hey WHAT?! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: h...

In today's show, a spouse is betrayed, an Ibex is murdered, and we Yelp it from a FUCKING MOUNTAIN. Bye! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://w...

Today's title isn't even a slant rhyme, and I have a *very* liberal (and accurate) definition of slant rhyme. Yes, I'm talking to you. Yes, you're wrong. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies...

A lot gets said in today's show without a lot of scripting. TO BE CLEAR, hiring folks with records = GOOD. Being a total Micah Camden about it = badbadbad. https://www.pdxmonthly.com/eat-and-drink/2018/08/why-is-super-deluxe-rocking-portland-s-fast-food-world If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/...

In today's show, we sell meat back to vegans, Jess gets down with some slacks, and my reveal that I am, most unfortunately, the asshole. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with u...

I'm certain somebody has done that pun before. I refuse to look it up. In today's show, Jess also brings some choice cuts from the Pious Parent's Guide to Moving Pictures. Pious, fwiw, is my go-to first guess in Wordle. SMALL WORLD. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell a...

In today's episode, we enjoy all-carb smoothies, a wealthy steak-eater "continues the experience," and Charles Bukowski fucks an alarm clock. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester w...

In today's episode, a genderless adult snorts granola. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. It's the ONLY game in town. HELL'S BELLS. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebo...

Kombucha kits and bougie kids toys make for a fantastic new episode. Who knew?! Fuckin' hell. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment, and BOY HOWDY HOT DAMN Y'ALL. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook F...