Jess & Jonathan
Everyone's A Critic
The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely change the recipe, then review it anyway. Amazon shoppers and their thoughts on meat by-products. With new themes to explore each episode, Jess and Jonathan hope to give voice to all the desperate internet reviewers shouting endlessly into the void. It's a comedy podcast!
Auteur
Jess & Jonathan
Catégorie
Site du podcast
Dernier épisode
16 août 2023
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Épisodes
ep 260 An Announcement 16.08.2023 7:09
Thank you so much for every listen throughout the years. Change isn't easy. We love all of you and have loved every moment of making this silly, wonderful, obnoxious show. Every time you read a funny review in the wild, hear an out of context kazoo, or find yourself laughing at the inevitable heat death of the universe, let it remind you of us. Take care of each other, make each other laugh. J a...
Ep 259: Thank You for Yawning 02.08.2023 59:43
In today's episode, a cohost yawns at her cohost, a boy kicks a cow too hard, and Barbie goes mutton busting. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at...
Ep 258: Their 12th Favorite Film 26.07.2023 1:03:44
Ecclesiastical! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with...
Ep 257: The Cheez Whiz Was Expired 19.07.2023 1:05:52
We didn't realize until after we stopped recording that the Cheez Whiz eaten in today's program was two weeks past its sell-by date. I bought it at a Kroger, and like, yeah sell-by dates are kind of dumb sometimes, but like, what? How? If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3...
Ep 256: We Have King’s Hawaiian Money 12.07.2023 1:05:36
I know the title is supposed to be "Skating for Christ." But that isn't my new favorite phrase ever, so, what can you do. Today's show also features a grim look at airport Starbucks by someone who's connecting flight is definitely impossible. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playli...
Ep 255: Carol Time. 05.07.2023 59:52
In today's show we piss, cuss, steal, and win (everybody's doing it). If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhu...
Ep 254: Milk Theft! Milk Theft! 28.06.2023 1:00:14
Today's episode is sponsored by the Steak & Milk diet! Eat like Daniel Plainview, die like Daniel Plainview. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one awesome pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 (It's so big I have to import it to Spotify manually, and I don't) Buy our shirts and cups:...
Ep 253: Small Quantities of Asbestos 21.06.2023 1:05:22
If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Twe...
Ep 252: A Revolving Door for Women 14.06.2023 1:06:10
This one is about the horrors of 8th grade, 7th grade, and Fort Lauderdale. Thank my lucky stars I've only experienced two of them. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-966...
Ep 251: A Bed/Cracker Situation 07.06.2023 1:04:06
On an all new EAC, alliances will be broken, showmances will be shattered, and one contestant's life will change forever. We also talk about the Applebee's in San Francisco. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal....
Ep 250: St. Peter Says, Yikes 31.05.2023 1:02:05
That face when the highlight reel of your life is cringy AF, am I right? No? Just me? If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https...
Ep 249: Corona Times Fun Grabber 24.05.2023 1:01:24
OOOOOOH MAN. AAAAAAAH yiss. Giant sticky hands. Also in today's show, we look at tips for making chalupas, listener Chris kills it, and we give away 50 free trials of MAX. Just MAX. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https:...
Ep 248: Dr. Dre’s Hoptimonium 17.05.2023 1:05:17
Did you know hot tub boats are a thing? Yep, that's all I've got. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans...
Ep 247: It’s Not Fun to Read 10.05.2023 1:00:33
We've got a fantastic listener special for ya' today, with reviews from the Ikea cafeteria and the billigerent, anti-suffrage book nook. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42f...
Ep 246: Most Controversial Squeezer 03.05.2023 1:03:13
Today's episode is *littered* with inaccuracies. To be clear, the Juicy Salif is not poison when you juice on it. The instructions say it tastes bad when you juice on it. Aluminum being bad for you is somewhat debunked. But at least when we lie, it's about juicers. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up...
Ep 245: Y-U-C-C-H-Y 26.04.2023 1:03:11
Alternate titles for today's show: "Totally Fucked" Tin Can Puller Appropriately Domestic Mold on the Cobwebs Chickums Upturned Meatshield Surrounded by Grease If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/pl...
Ep 244: Dark Yelp Live! 19.04.2023 1:05:18
Also in today's episode, we explore a business that sells "urban camping" as a good thing. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: h...
Ep 243: Foo Foo Woman Food 12.04.2023 1:01:09
I don't know what to say anymore. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell a...
Ep 242: What’s Rapini? 05.04.2023 1:02:46
In today's show, we study the mythos of a truly obnoxious megastructure. We also look at reviews for a big cross. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy...
Ep 241: Women Like Boneless Wings 29.03.2023 59:47
Alternate titles for today's episode include: Tina Trashass Meow Meow Eating and Play I. Have. A. Allergy. Riddled in Allergy Sauce Cheetah Girls Crashed My Phone Negation of All Human Kindness It's Women's History Month (FFS) If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPj...
Ep 240: Same as the Old Meat 22.03.2023 1:05:31
Alternate titles for today's episode: Don't, Don't, Don't Ever Say That Again Spring's Bone A Cocktail I Can Cozy Up To The Orgasm Arena This is America The TJ Maxx Way If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/...
Ep 239: Slightly Tilting 15.03.2023 1:00:04
In today's show, we take a wholly unrequested trip to Elizabethton, TN, and we warsh all that sadness down with a tall glass of... plastic tubs and file organizers. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/brows...
Ep 238: I Will Not Be Polite 08.03.2023 1:04:35
Alternate titles for today's episode include: As a Body Wash Mostly Sour Grapes I'm Only Half-Italian ****WARNING*** This Is Crazy If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663...
Ep 237: A Yelper Darkly 01.03.2023 1:00:39
In today's show, we have T-Joes, kale rants, AND Jimmy Dean's sausage on a stick. It's some real season 1 goodness. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 B...
Ep 236: New Hampshire’s Greatest Threat 22.02.2023 1:04:25
Today's episode is about me. I am New Hamspshire's greatest threat. I AM THE END. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://ww...
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