Jess & Jonathan

Everyone's A Critic

Comedy EN ↓ 262 episodes

The internet's first curated volume of other people's opinions! Each week, Jess and Jonathan take a deep, dark dive into the web's most popular review platforms, sharing with you the funniest snippets of humanity they can find. Yelpers who can't find the bathroom. AllRecipes chefs who completely change the recipe, then review it anyway. Amazon shoppers and their thoughts on meat by-products. With new themes to explore each episode, Jess and Jonathan hope to give voice to all the desperate internet reviewers shouting endlessly into the void. It's a comedy podcast!

Author

Jess & Jonathan

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

everyonecritic.podbean.com

Latest episode

Aug 16, 2023

Where to listen?

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Episodes

Ep 235: Gumby Jesus and Prickle John 15.02.2023

In today's extra long pizza, we go on two fabulous road trips through the weirdest corners of America. Please see today's special image for all the hype you need. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/...

Ep 234: From Eating to Greeting 08.02.2023

On this frosty western morn we feast upon Feedback: The Breakfast of Champions. Lesbians not included. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts...

Ep 233: David O’Doherty 01.02.2023

In today's episode, we take a spin in the dreaded Book Nook and head east southeast through much of Middle Earth (the bits that matter, anyway). And yeah, apparently we've heard O'Doherty pronounced incorrectly on British TV too many times. Soz! If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotif...

Ep 232: The Cincinnati Soda Wangers 25.01.2023

Sudan Archives' last album ends with a gorgeous track about her roots in Cincinnati. Meanwhile, Cleveland has the shitty theme song from The Drew Carrey Show. You do the math. We also talk about Quaker Steak and Lube, as well as Al Dente the singing-not-singing pasta timer. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Our favorite music in one messy (awesome)...

Ep 231: Three Taps for Crosswords 18.01.2023

One tap for sex. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Our favorite cuts: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4 https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9 Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @Crit...

Ep 230: The Most Populous Cesspit 11.01.2023

I have no idea how to describe today's disasterthon, but it does have very big dinos. Every other part of it will, frankly, haunt me. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: F...

Ep 229: The OG OG Spot 04.01.2023

In today's show, Jess comes for the hetero, and I attempt the impossible reviews topic.  Or as Cormac McCarthy would say in his seminal coming-of-something novel Suttree: "Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons." If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracriti...

Ep 228: A Casino of Sin 28.12.2022

Fears: conquered. Sin: vanquished. Olive Garden: every single weeknight. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic...

EP 227: Keep Lead in Your Brain 21.12.2022

In today's show, we bare our souls for Christmas. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/ List...

Ep 226: Will I Be Okay? 14.12.2022

Today's show is brought to you by apologies. Apologies! Let someone else do the hard part. It also features reviews for Oprah's favorite things and prank kits.

Ep 225: Ol’ Weaselchops 07.12.2022

In today's show, I introduce everyone to my best friend Canthony, we drink lots of CBD, and Jess eats a tum. We also read reviews for Folgers K-cups and robot dogs. It's honestly a pretty good one? We've got apologies in the next episode. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/...

Ep 224: Curse of the Slow-Moving Slut 30.11.2022

Today's hyphenated title brought to you by autocorrect. Autocorrect! It'll really do ya dirty. Also, Jess revisits fan-favorite segment I Went to Grad School, and it nearly kills me. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @Crit...

Ep 223: That (Tantric) Sickness Energy 23.11.2022

In today's preview of the next Lorde LP, one host comes down with a cold so bad that, while editing the episode, that host felt vicariously ill all over again. We also look at the IMDB Parent's Guide for Planet Earth.  If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  forever...

Ep 222: Peas and Heme 16.11.2022

So quick fact check: Impossible uses heme, and Beyond uses peas. Thus, peas and heme have never truly met in America's many meat departments. But they have met in our hearts. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryo...

Ep 221: I Thought You Said Corn 09.11.2022

In today's episode, we kick off Beach Week with a bodacious bang, Jess visits the island of misfit attractions, and we learn that it's NOT jaywalking if you steal first. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Al...

Ep 220: 10 Years of Plant-Based Experience 02.11.2022

In today's frantic Halloween episode, we learn the shocking truth behind shellac, and we celebrate Muse's extensive catalogue of Ford Truck Month music. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies...

Ep 219: The Cinnamon Gum is Lurking 26.10.2022

Yo! (Shut the fuck up!) YO! (Shut the fuck *up*!) This one is about our two favorite beefy bastards: kangaroos and Paul Hollywood. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Fa...

Ep 218: Speaking in Profamity 19.10.2022

In this episode, Jess and I finally bring (basically) the same topic. It happened gang. A solid hour (and some change) of family restaurant reviews.  The only worse thing I can imagine is owning a Tesla. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.c...

Ep 217: My Dermis Hates This Episode 12.10.2022

In today's episode, someone forgets their wedding anniversary, a cheese chalet shames Wisconsin, and a scalp tickler ruins my life. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  F...

Ep 216: Milkcraft and Moozardry 05.10.2022

Today's XXL episode features talking cows, putting with a baseball bat, and Ye Olde Keg You Piss In. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www.f...

Ep 215: The Crease Between (your chin and your neck) 28.09.2022

In today's 15/100th centennial, we hear from a new sponsor, click my body in new and zesty ways, and read reviews for jade face rollers. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with u...

Ep 214: Welcome to My Mine 21.09.2022

In today's show we reintroduce even more new segments, things get dark, and we fumble in that darkness. But not before a whispering coalminer rocks our bods from our noggins to our johnsons. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at u...

Ep 213: Piss on It: The Book 14.09.2022

In today's show, we look at reviews for a national park AND a medieval reenactment village outside Seattle. Same stakes, different day. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us...

Ep 212: Fishing for Smiles 07.09.2022

In today's show, we visit our rich uncle Toronto and his corgi, Eugene.  And yes that's a euphemism.  If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www....

Ep 211: You Cannot Throw Up 31.08.2022

In today's show, two individuals attempt to be coherent.   If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.  Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us:  foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us:  Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-23276963041...

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