Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Estrangement results in the loss of a relationship either temporarily or permanently. Whether it is a son, daughter, parent, sibling, or someone else, the loss is profound. You’ll grieve the good memories of the relationship that existed before estrangement. And hope for reconciliation one day.  However, many women I speak with express a de...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Last week the topic was the joy of forgiveness, and I hope you found some nuggets of truth to help you in your estranged relationship. Because forgiveness is so powerful, I have a short follow up on that subject and it’s called balancing the scales.  Remember those old-fashioned scales? The kind that had two trays on either side of the stan...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Joy and forgiveness don’t belong in the same sentence. Or do they? Estrangement brings such a host of emotions. Sadness, anger, resentment, disappointment and many more. How is joy even possible when your heart is so heavy? Today I’ll share with you the joy of forgiveness and how it can set your heart free – even amid estrangement. You don’...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Trusting God during estrangement is essential to your mental health. However, it’s one of the hardest things to do.  This child whom you’ve reared, nourished, protected and loved has chosen to walk away from you and your heart is broken. How could this happen? Every mother makes mistakes parenting her children. I made them. My mother made t...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement While every family story is different, I’ve discovered three reasons estranged kids stay silent. If you’ve been searching for answers and hearing crickets, you are not alone.  As a mother your heart breaks when your child refuses to talk with you. The disruption in your family is overwhelming and may extend even to your grandkids. You long...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement If you took a selfie of your heart right now, what would it reveal? Selfie’s have been all the rage for a while now. People risk life and limb to crawl to the highest point of a dangerous cliff to capture their smiling face with the tallest waterfall or the deepest canyon.  It’s one thing to smile for the camera, but inside I can imagine th...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Peace even in estrangement is attainable although women believe otherwise. What about you? Do you feel that your estranged relationship must be reconciled before you can have peace? I did.  Obsessing over words spoken, actions taken and how a loved one could choose rejection was nonstop. You wonder if you’ll ever be normal again. I laugh ab...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement The heaviness of why in an estranged relationship with a loved one is unbearable at times. As I continue with the theme of changing your thoughts and changing your life, let’s explore how to lessen the weight of why.  Why is the cry of the heart of a mother who is estranged from a son or daughter that often results in loss of a relationship...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Continuing with the estrangement theme - Change your thoughts and change your life. Do you wonder what God thinks of you? That very thought can bring immense peace or terrorizing fear. At the height of my chaotic sinful life, I was certain God was waiting for an opportune time to strike me down. Estrangement compounded the feeling that He c...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Change your thoughts and your life will change. How it changes depends on how you think. Now, this is not the power of positive thinking message. But there is truth to how our thoughts affect our life – either positively or negatively.  Admittedly, I am a skeptic when people start talking about an attitude of gratitude. Those Pollyanna wome...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Estrangement and Mother’s Day are two attributes that are at odds with one another. And when you are estranged from a son or daughter, it’s a trigger that can send you spiraling into a dark place.  As I’ve talked with some mom’s they’ve expressed that they just want the day to end so they can get on with life. Women work themselves into a t...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement The secret to peace is elusive to many women. Everyone wants it and often knows how to get it but are unwilling.  Those that embrace this secret discover a deep and lasting peace even amid estrangement before relationships reconcile. In fact, knowing the relationship may never reconcile doesn’t disturb their peace.  This peace is available...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Reconciliation is defined as the process of restoring friendly relations. It involves resolving disputes and balancing accounts. You’re thinking about your estranged loved one and that’s what this is about. However, it also is a principle in balance.  Think of your bank statement. Do you cringe when it arrives as I do? Because of my husband...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Letting go of grudges is rarely easy and certainly nothing happens quickly for most people. Estranged relationships create a hotbed for growing grudges, and you nourish them when you replay and rehearse responses.   Coaching women who have been hurt by a loved one who has chosen to walk away will frequently begin with something like “how co...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement There is a bridge that connects an unsaved heart and that’s the subject of today’s podcast episode. Women have asked me how to handle their unsaved kids especially when estranged.  That’s a worthy question and one that resonates with every Christian mom around the world. I've sometimes overstepped, but always with good intentions. Howe...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement The sting of rejection has been on my mind this week. For Christians, it’s Holy Week and I’ve been thinking about conversations I’ve had with women about estrangement.  Moreover, the rejection these women discuss is typically a child who has walked away. Rarely do I speak with anyone where the parent has chosen rejection.  Siblings, In-Laws...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement As children of God, we are made for connection. Connecting with another in meaningful relationship is one of the greatest joys of life. Family, friends, and co-workers. Neighbors, Church fellowship, and children’s sporting events are all places we find connection.  Conversely, rejection is one of the most painful emotional upheavals that on...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Anxiety and estrangement go hand in hand. As the days and months and years wear on with no relationship with your loved one, it’s hard to be anything but anxious. Will you ever see them again? Do they think of you or miss you?  Do you replay the last conversation you had over and over wondering what could’ve been different? A dear friend lo...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Estrangement due to one’s faith is on the rise given the world situation. No doubt you have witnessed the great divide in families over religion and politics.   As a Christian woman, you are navigating an estranged relationship with a loved one that may be due to something completely unrelated to your faith. However, as the conflict increas...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Attempts at managing your thoughts can be an exercise in futility. Yet it’s essential to maintain healthy emotions when dealing with estranged relationships.  If you’re like me, you’re well on the trip to nowhere before you discover your thought process was hijacked. Have you ever started reading and all of a sudden, your thoughts have take...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Grit and Grace are two key components when you find yourself navigating an estranged relationship. Often these two attributes come later in the estrangement when you’ve suffered through many negative emotions. What if you could learn the biblical principles of grit and grace early on and shorten the cycle of emotional pain? Would you be wil...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Transformation is a beautiful word. Changing something so that its appearance is completely different and noticeable. You may wonder what this has to be with estranged relationships but stay with me. It’s a foundational principle you won’t want to miss.  We’ve recently relocated and the gardening beds were unsightly. Grass had grown up into...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Healing brokenness in an estranged relationship is a lengthy process. Today I’ll talk about three-steps that center around these attributes. Reconcile. Restore. Rebuild.   You already know that reconciliation requires two parties and not everyone arrives at this decision simultaneously. Consequently, many women give up far too early.   Whil...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement It’s hard to have hope when your child walks away, but that is exactly where your strength lies. Without hope you’re lost. Thoughts go awry and that leads to a slippery slope you want to avoid.  But it’s hard, right? When phone calls and text messages go unanswered. And they believe you are the enemy when your heart is breaking into with lo...

Send me a text…what do struggle with most in estrangement Today I have a Valentine’s Message for the Estranged Heart. If you’re listening, then it’s for you. Love is worth celebrating. And for those with an estranged relationship, it may be feelings of sadness as you reflect on love lost.  Well, cheer up my friend, I have a love message for you today.  No matter what you are feeling today, there i...