ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

The chapter in the White Book titled "Lust—The Force Behind the Addiction," is, in my view, a magnificent introduction to the underpinnings of what lust is really all about. In that chapter Roy defines lust as "an attitude demanding that a natural instinct serve unnatural desires" (SA 40). That was certainly my experience.

One of our friends-in-prison, Raphael S., who has had two articles over the last couple of years in ESSAY, started an SA meeting in Virginia State Prison. He is sponsoring another fellow. It’s meaningful for them to be part of the fellowship although they are incarcerated.

We have seen many miracles. As a worldwide fellowship, SA carries some heavy responsibility. The Support for Institutions and Professionals Committee (SIP) is organized to address one of these responsibilities head on: sharing our message with various helping professionals and larger institutions. We, who have personally benefited from the miracles of the 12 Steps can now take part in informing th...

“What can we do so that more women attend our meetings? What can we do to support women in SA? What can we give women when they come into our meetings? What are we doing wrong that women leave our meetings? How can we encourage more women in service?” These are some of the questions that members of the Public Information Committee (PIC) have heard from SA members. It seems there is great interest...

I have been following a journey all my adult life toward what now, as a sober SA member, I think of as Step 1—and I am now almost 60. I am moved to write this article by The Real Connection reading for today, which at the time of writing is April 7. It describes a method of meditation which the writer felt could be useful to other members, that is, in silence paying attention to my breathing, and...

I attend the regular meetings of my home group every week, but currently, except for me, there are only male fellows there. However, as a “woman and a sexual minority,” I have been accepted into this group and feel like I belong and have a connection.   I feel comfortable and can share honestly regardless of gender because the fellows gathering in this group firmly incorporate and practice the con...

Dear ESSAY, we’d love to share the story of our Loving Chair with you all. Jaime Daniel is one of the founders of our group. 12 years ago, he celebrated his 24th anniversary of sobriety in another fellowship where he received a small plastic chair as a gift. He donated that chair to our “La Liberación” group. Since then, the chair serves as a reminder to us that our primary purpose is to keep our...

When Zoom meetings started I was blessed to attend one or more meetings per day including for the first time a women’s only meeting. I didn’t have much experience attending meetings with other SA sisters. It was beautiful. A daily meeting I attended regularly had a handful of regular sisters and we discussed starting an offshoot women’s only meeting. So “Bozos on the Bus Women” was created. It is...

As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a scientist. But life took a sharp turn when instead I became a lust addict. Accepting my struggle wasn’t easy. What I thought was innocent indulgence in pornography and fantasy spun out of control, and I came to feel completely powerless. I stumbled across SA on the Internet, but I was still under age, and I had to wait until I turned 18 to join the Program....

came into Sexaholics Anonymous at age 31. I am 55 today. I’ve seen a lot of women come and go. Based on behaviors I’ve experienced during those 25 years, I’d like to share some practical recovery tools how I treat the opposite sex at our mixed meetings: I don’t exchange numbers with members of the opposite sex—especially if married. I don’t touch another person without first asking permission. I d...

Hi, I'm Karin W., a woman sexaholic, and on 27 June '23, I landed in SA. My sobriety date is Sept 1, 2023. I have a SA in-person home group, attend Zoom SA meetings, work the 12 Steps with a SA sponsor and do SA Correctional Facilities Committee (CFC) service work. Also, I'm committed to 'no' dating or getting into a relationship for a year, minimum. Before SA, I wanted to die.

There’s a saying, “Recovery is peace and serenity in the midst of the storm.” And Priscilla has known many storms. Today, after more than 30 years of sexual sobriety, she has tools to stay the course during storms. Priscilla C., from Nashville, Tennessee, has been sober since February 7, 1993. She was sent to Sexaholics Anonymous by her therapist. “My forms of acting out were predominantly with ma...

I’ve been sober since January 7, 2023. That day I took a flight to South Africa (SA), so I literally traveled to a new life since then. God has an amazing sense of humor!  FIRST STOP: Bogotá.  September 2014: One Friday night I called SA because I had done something that ashamed me profoundly. “Why can’t I stop? Why do my relationships not last? What is wrong with me?” I still remember the underst...

A man… got blinds to the windows; what can’t stand daylight? His front yard looks desolate, a jungle downright! A man… day after day, an all nighter too His addiction to porn is the one trick he can do That man… lonely, neglected, afraid, feels rejected One day… he can’t stop the habit, it’s having him hooked He’s looking for havoc, it’s having him nooked

  اوایل ورودم به اس ای، زمانی که راجع به جلسات مختلط مطلع شدم، فکر کردم اگر در جلسه ای باشم که اعضای آن، ذهنی مثل ذهن من داشته باشند،آنجا مثل یک پارتی خواهد شد. به عنوان یک زنبانوان رفتم و تصور می کردم یک معتاد جنسی که با جنس مخالف تعامل دارد، دیوانه است و مجبور است راجع به ضربات شهوتی که برای او به همراه دارد، به خودش دروغ بگویدمخالف تعامل دارد، دیوانه است و مجبور است راجع به ضربات شهوتی که برای...

  سلام، من کارین هستم، یک معتادجنسی خانم، و در ۲۷ ژوئن ۲۰۳۳ به اس ای پیوستم. تاریخ هوشیاریای،دلم میخواست بمیرم است. من یک گروه حضوری خانگی اس ای دارم، در جلسات زوم اس ای شرکت میکنم، دوازده قدم را با یک راهنمای اس ای کار میکنم و کارهای خدماتی کمیته اصلاح و تربیت اس ای را انجام می دهم .همچنین، من متعهد به "نه" قرار ملاقات یا وارد شدن به یک رابطه برای حداقل یک سال هستم. من قبل از اس ای،دلم میخواست بم...

  من از سال ۲۰۱۰ در این برنامه بوده‌ام. برنامه به من این امکان را داد که ۱۳ سال پاک بمانم و از اینکه از من خواسته شد مقاله‌ای درباره مردان و زنان در جامعه بنویسم، بسیار سپاسگزارم

  گفته می‌شود: بهبودی آرامش و صلح در میان طوفان است پریسیلیا طوفان‌های زیادی را پشت سرگذاشته است. امروز بعد از بیش از ۳۰ سال پاکی جنسی، او ابزارهایی دارد تا در میان طوفان دلسرد نشود و ادامه بدهد. پریسیلیا سی از نشویل تِنسی از ۷ فوریه ۱۹۹۳ پاک بوده است. او از طریق روان درمانگرش به معتادان جنسی گمنام فرستاده شد. فُرمهای شهوت‌رانی من اساساً با مردان متاهل و یا مردانی بود که از لحاظ عاطفی غیرقابل دستر...

  من از ۷ ژانویه ۲۰۲۳ تاکنون پاک هستم. آن روز یک پرواز به آفریقای جنوبی که در زبان انگلیسی به اختصار SA خوانده می‌شود، داشتم و از آن زمان، عینا‍، سفری به یک زندگی جدید داشتم. خداوند فوق العاده شوخ طبع است

  یک سال پیش وقتی وارد اولین جلسه دراپلیکیشن زوم شدم احساس نگرانی کردم، چون مختلط بود. من یک سوال داشتم، چطور در میان مردان هوشیار بمانم؟ آنچه در ابتدا به من قوت قلب دوباره می داد روشی بود که در آن اعضا به همراه تاریخ هوشیاری شان خود را معرفی می کردند. اما من در این موضوع گزینه دیگری برای انتخاب نداشتم، من باید بر ترسهایم غلبه کرده، و برای آموختن اینکه چطور هوشیار بمانم و بهبودی عمیق تری داشته باش...

I have been in the program since 2010. I have been allowed to be sober for 13 years and am grateful to have been asked to write an article about men and women in the community.    This, of course, reminds me of where I come from. A first encounter with women in SA was an absolute threat to me. I was full of fantasies, imaginings, and desires. I was driven sheer crazy by the mere knowledge that a w...

Some years ago, we started an online Persian SA meeting, which was the first online SA meeting as well as the first mixed meeting in our fellowship in Iran. In the beginning, there were some technical and online cultural issues but overall no major problems.

My name is Mike M. and I’m a sexaholic. I’ve been one since before I even understood what lust was. I’ve been sober over two years now thanks to the 12 steps of SA, working with a sponsor, and a Power greater than myself that I try not to understand, but to experience. I’m married to my wife and we have three boys, 17, 14, and 10.

How have you been practicing healthy boundaries in our mixed fellowship?   The poignant narrative of Arpita on pages 12-14 underscores that we are all fellow travelers on a spiritual journey who struggle with similar challenges.  It’s tempting to attribute our discomfort to the opposite sex, but true insight reveals that the root of addiction lies within ourselves.

  כאשר הגעתי לSA לראשונה ושמעתי על קבוצות מעורבות (עם גברים ונשים), חשבתי 'אם לכולם יש את אותו המוח שלי, זאת הולכת להיות חגיגה'. כאישה, אני פחדתי מכל אינטראקציה עם גברים בגלל שהדבר היחיד שהיה לי בראש היה מין. הלכתי לקבוצות לנשים בלבד וחשבתי שסקסוהוליסט שיוצר קשר עם המין השני הוא משוגע, והוא משקר לעצמו בנוגע למושאי התאווה שלו