ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

Cesar’s videos can be viewed on the ESSAY website on the Videos Page on  https://essay.sa.org/videos/ .  Sponsor: Cesar and I joined SA around the same time. After a few months, our relationship shifted from members to sponsee and sponsor.  At first, Cesar was hesitant to join virtual meetings with his camera off because he didn’t like not being able to see the people he was sharing with. That was...

Dear ESSAY, Thank you for this topic on Grieving In Recovery. It has helped me reflect on how I cope with grief since being in recovery, compared to before.

A few years after the Flemish IG began, Luc brought up the idea of organizing a larger workshop or convention. We also looked to SA in the Netherlands for collaboration. This happened several times during workshops with old-timers. A few years ago, a tradition emerged: an annual Dutch-language convention, alternately organized by the Dutch and the Flemish IG.

When I came to SA at the beginning of January 2021, started working the Steps, and got to know my Higher Power, I thought life would no longer be difficult. As long as we are sober and with God, it can only be good, right? Well, not really.

I have a lifetime of tears that are trapped like an ocean, deep within the inside of me, The pain and the fears, and a lingering notion that one day they’ll all be set free. But for now, as new tears are gathered and added deep behind an impenetrable wall, The pressure increases as the stability decreases, awaiting the eventual fall. I am stuck in a land where no man can stand the pain that is ins...

As this headline suggests, I have lived through the deaths of my large childhood extended family, where I lived and thrived. Then, in midlife, my beloved husband died tragically. My circle shrank to my parents and grandmother, but in 2020, my cherished father and grandmother both died in lockdown, with all the severe trauma that involved at the time. Even my former acting-out partner will be dead...

“Have you worked the Steps on this issue?” Sylvia asked me that question regularly when she was my sponsor. The question stays in my head, and it comes to the surface when my Higher Power knows I need help. Seven women received many wise suggestions from Sylvia as our sponsor or as our friend. We united in our grief to have an online memorial, a memorial on Zoom, and a memorial published in the Ju...

Have you sought support to help you find the good in grief?    Jack’s in-depth article describes how unprocessed grief can greatly contribute to the addictive process. He explains how support in SA, especially from an understanding sponsor, helped him discuss the losses in his life and cultivate gratitude.  

Sharing the wisdom of David M. to help us let go, grow, and remember.  Maynardism: The opposite of love is indifference. When one is angry or critical of another, that is not indifference. That is an expression of caring. Learning to accept caring in the form of judgment is important, though rarely pleasant.

Sponsorship in Prison  My name is Blue, and I am an incarcerated person serving a life sentence in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation for the crimes of sexual assault. This is the bad news. The good news is that coming to prison was the best thing that could have happened for me, because it forced me to take an honest look at myself and what I needed to do to transform and...

SA has a set of Trustee Committees (see Concept 11) that provide advice and perform tasks on behalf of the Trustees.  The Information Technology (IT) Committee is commissioned to develop and maintain the sa.org website.  This website is often the first contact newcomers have with our fellowship and serves as a hub for providing information, literature, and services to all SA members.  We would lik...

For this June 2025 edition we welcome our newest amateur illustrator An. She has created this issue's Best Caption Contest Cartoon with August's theme: "Happy, Joyous, and ... Single."

It never seems to get old, even though I’ve been driving to these regional conferences now for over a quarter century. I’m just appreciating these special times all the more since they were interrupted for a couple of years by the pandemic.  This was the first year in quite a few years that I had not volunteered for anything at a retreat. That felt disappointing for a moment, knowing how important...

My name is Kathie S., of the Exeter, Devon, England, SA group. The next county to Devon is Cornwall, including one of the smallest SA groups in the country: the Truro group. This dedicated group has hosted again this year one of the most awesome events on my calendar: the Truro Recovery Day (which was in early April 2025). Truro is a Cathedral city, accessible by railway and by main roads.

(PHOTO # 1 ) On March 10, 2022, Assiut Room held its first face-to-face meeting, thanks to our fellow Ahmed M., who was a wonderful tool used by God to start this blessed journey. 

I am pleased and grateful to share with the Fellowship that there is now a second Sexaholics Anonymous meeting in Manassas, Virginia! While our original meeting has been running strong since 1997, we are excited to announce the launch of the Tuesday Night Manassas SA Group.

Our next edition’s theme is “Happy, Joyous, and… Single.” We look forward to exploring the joys of recovery while single. Is that even possible? Absolutely. Numerous members who are single for some time or for the rest of their lives live “happy, joyous, and free.” However, ESSAY is your magazine and it is your experience, strength, and hope that carries the message of recovery to the still suffer...

  אני בר מזל שיש לי מטפל מנוסה שהוא בגילי ובנוסף לכך עבד את 12 הצעדים באופן אישי על מנת להתמודד עם בעיות ההתמכרות שלו. הוא תומך באופן עמוק בתוכניות 12 צעדים. גיליתי שסוג זה של עזרה חיצונית מקצועית מהווה השלמה חיובית להחלמה שלי ב-SA.

  הביטוי ‘שכה יהיה לי טוב (צער)’ זכור לי כקללה שכיחה אצל הדמויות בקומיקס פינאטס (Peanuts). במשך רוב חיי השתמשתי בביטוי זה כדי לבטא תדהמה, ייאוש ותסכול, אף פעם לא חשבתי על האמת העמוקה שחבויה בצחות הלשון הזו. לפני שהגעתי לתכנית SA ב 21/10/1998, חייתי עם מצבור של צער קפוא. רק אחרי שעברתי מספר מסעות בדרך הצעדים, או אז התחלתי להבין ולאמץ את היתרונות שבצער. הבנתי שהמסע שעברתי בתוך הצער היה מְרפא וטוב עב...

   أنا محظوظ جدًا لوجود معالج خبير في حياتي، وهو رجل في عمري وقد طبق شخصيًا الخطوات الاثنتي عشرة على مشاكله الإدمانية؛ وهو يدعم برامج الخطوات الـ12 بشكل كامل. لقد وجدت هذا النوع من المساعدة المهنية الخارجية مكملاً إيجابيًا جدًا لتعافيَّ في مجموعة (س. م).   منذ وقت ليس ببعيد، بينما كنت أعمل معه على مشكلاتي المتعلقة بالقبول والاستيائات والغضب المكبوت، طلب مني أن أعد قائمة بجميع الخسائر التي عانيت من...

  إرث التعافي من خلال عيون من ساعدَتهم   تطبيق الخطوات: أولاً، ناقشنا الخطوات. ثانيًا، سألتني سيلفيا: “هل تقرأين الكتاب الأبيض أم أنكِ قرأتِ الاثني عشر والاثني عشر؟” كان هذا قبل كتابة كتاب “أخطُ إلى التطبيق”. قرأت الكتاب الأبيض لفهم جوهر الخطوات وقرأت الاثني عشر والاثني عشر لتطبيق الخطوات. ثالثًا، كتبت عن كيفية تطبيقي لتلك الخطوة المحددة و قرأت ما كتبته لها. أخيرًا، قدمت سيلفيا ملاحظاتها لتحديد ما...

  حتى لا يبقى سوى أنا والرب بدأت هذا البرنامج ذو الخطوات الاثنتي عشرة من القاع، بعد ارتكاب الزنا. لم يتبقَّ لي سوى قول:”أعرف حلا. سأقدم على الانتحار، ثم ألوم الجميع. كل ذلك خطأهم.” في عام 1992, وجهني أحدهم نحو برنامج الخطوات الاثنتي عشرة. لم أكن أعرف شيئاً عن المسار، أو القواعد الاثنتي عشرة، أو المفاهيم الاثنتي عشرة. استغرق الأمر أربع سنوات أخرى من تحطيم كل الآلهة الزائفة التي كنت مدمنًاعليها: الط...

  كانت المغازلة نشوة حقيقية بقلم سيلفيا ج. (بعد ست سنوات من الرصانة في س.م) مع المقال الأصلي لعام 1989 الذي نشر في (قصص الأعضاء)2007 صفحات 120-123 بعنوان” الطريق الوحيد الذي عرفته”