ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous)

В “Анонимных Сексоголиках” он прошёл через такую трансформацию, что смог увидеть свою истинную личность. Проблема не в этом! Я присоединился к АС в 1999 году, в то время я проходил через личностный кризис, кризис в семье и других отношениях с людьми, мои чувства были в полном беспорядке. У меня не было никаких чувств, помимо гнева. Я точно знал, что делать, как быстро решить все проблемы, поскорее...

Работа по Шагам избавила её от стыда и перфекционизма - смертельной комбинации, которая не позволяла ей быть уязвимой.  Если я испытываю стыд, значит я ощущаю и уязвимость. Определение уязвимости звучит так: “это неспособность защитить себя от оскорблений, нападений и насмешек”. В словаре также упомянут  “человек, нуждающийся в определённой заботе, поддержке или защите”.

Определение истинной проблемы и выход из состояния своеволия позволяют ему жить в вере и в согласии с волей Бога.   Мне хотелось бы дать некоторые определения, потому что я убеждён, что когда мы точно определяем  проблему, то приближаемся к её решению. В моём понимании вина - это здоровое и вполне уместное ощущение неудобства, которое возникает, когда я причинил ущерб себе или кому-либо другому. Э...

Dio ha rimosso la sua paura e l'ha sostituita con la fede e con le opere. Per tutta la vita ero stato così legato dalla paura che avevo perso la speranza di liberarmi. Attraverso il lavoro sui Passi, una luce brillante alla fine di un tunnel lungo, freddo e buio ha improvvisamente brillato con un calore confortante. Ad ogni passo, tuttavia, le paure continuavano a incombere. L'uso del semplice str...

Lavorare i Passi sulla paura le ha permesso di agire sotto la guida di Dio. Sono sposata da quasi 50 anni. Mio marito è stato incredibilmente crudele, ma ho sempre avuto paura di andarmene. La mia più grande paura è stata quella di non essere in grado di mantenermi, di rimanere senza casa.

I Passi hanno eliminato la vergogna e il perfezionismo, una combinazione letale che le impediva di mostrarsi vulnerabile. Quando provo vergogna, mi sento vulnerabile. La definizione di vulnerabilità è “l'incapacità di proteggersi dall'essere feriti, attaccati o ridicolizzati”. Il dizionario menziona anche “una persona che necessita di cure, sostegno o protezione speciali”.  Quando provo vergogna p...

Gott nahm ihr die Angst und ersetzte sie durch Glauben mit Taten. Mein ganzes Leben lang war ich so sehr von Angst gefesselt, dass ich die Hoffnung auf Freiheit verloren hatte. Durch die Arbeit in den Schritten strahlte plötzlich ein helles Licht am Ende eines langen, kalten und dunklen Tunnels mit einer tröstlichen Wärme. Bei jedem Schritt tauchten jedoch weiterhin Ängste auf. Das einfache Werkze...

AS hielt ihn nüchtern, während die Therapie ihm half, von Traumata und Scham zu heilen.  Meine Frau entdeckte meine Sucht zum ersten Mal, bevor wir verheiratet waren. Ich  versprach, wenn sie mir noch eine Chance geben würde, würde ich den Rest meines  Lebens damit verbringen, es bei ihr wieder gut zu machen. Das stellte sich als Lüge  heraus. Sie entdeckte meine Sucht zum zweiten Mal, nachdem ich...

Die Arbeit in den Schritten bezogen auf die Angst ermöglichte es ihr, unter Gottes Führung zu handeln. Ich bin seit fast 50 Jahren verheiratet. Mein Mann war unglaublich grausam, aber ich hatte Angst, ihn zu verlassen. Meine größte Furcht war, dass ich mich nicht selbst versorgen könnte, dass ich obdachlos würde.

Er erlebte eine Transformation durch AS, die ihm hilft, seine wahre Identität zu erkennen. Das Problem ist nicht das Problem! Als ich 1999 wegen persönlicher, familiärer und zwischenmenschlicher Krisen zu AS kam, waren meine Gefühle völlig durcheinander. Eigentlich hatte ich keine Gefühle außer Wut. Ich wusste ganz genau, was zu tun war und wie ich schnell alle Probleme in meinem Leben lösen konnt...

Die Schritte befreiten sie von Scham und Perfektionismus, einer tödlichen Kombination, die sie daran hinderte, offen und verletzlich zu sein.   Wenn ich Scham empfinde, fühle ich mich verletzlich. Die Definition von Verletzlichkeit lautet: „Die Unfähigkeit, sich vor Verletzungen, Angriffen oder Spott zu schützen.“ Das Wörterbuch gibt außerdem an: „Eine Person, die besondere Fürsorge, Unterstützung...

Das Erkennen des Problems und das Hinaustreten aus dem Selbst erlaubt ihm, im Vertrauen und im Willen Gottes zu leben. Ich möchte diese Begriffe definieren, weil ich glaube, dass wir, wenn wir ein Problem genau definieren, auch die Lösung finden.

Identifier le problème et cesser son comportement égocentrique lui permet de vivre dans la confiance et dans la volonté de Dieu.  Je voudrais définir ces termes, car je pense que lorsque nous définissons précisément un problème, nous trouvons la solution. Je comprends la culpabilité comme le sentiment sain et approprié de malaise que je ressens lorsque j'ai causé du tort à moi-même ou à quelqu'un...

It can seem that being happy and single are two ideas that don’t fit together. What a great discovery to learn that our joy does not rely on a relationship or even marriage! It relies on following the will of God through working the Steps. In this edition of “Happy, Joyous, and … Single”, we will hear the many transformations that Higher Power has accomplished in members who embraced the single an...

Dear ESSAY, Greetings from India. I am Iris from India–grateful, recovering, and blessed lustaholic and sexaholic. My SA journey and sobriety began on May 25, 2021, one day at a time(ODaAT). I heard about ESSAY and its garden of recovery at the beginning of my SA journey. I was approached to be a part of ESSAY’s garden, and I blossomed through sharing 3–4 articles. ESSAY has been one of my very st...

Informing Professionals about SA One of SA’s 18 committees that helps to carry the message and serve the fellowship is the Support for Institutions and Professionals Committee (SIP). Formerly, it was called the Hospitals and Institutions Committee. Our mission is still the same, to inform institutions and professionals as to how SA can help restore and maintain their clients’ mental, emotional, an...

I broke up with my last girlfriend when I came to the program, after a two-year relationship. The reason was my shocking admission to the truth about myself—that I used her, trying to find a sense of self-worth at her expense, satisfy lust, and not feel lonely. This realization was painful, but honest and therefore healing. I saw that I had always had this kind of unhealthy attitude towards my par...

Time being single and sober has allowed her to hear Higher Power’s will for her.  I have been sober for several years now, and have taken my first steps toward recovery. By “recovery,” I don’t just mean working the Steps, but that I am literally “recovering.” I’m talking about healing and restoration. This allows me to better discern the voice of my “lower self,” but also my “higher self.” My lowe...

He discovered that being single allowed him to devote his whole life to God. I was not put in this program by a spouse. I put myself here of my own volition. I don’t have to get found out or exposed because I have the opportunity to expose and find out about myself here in safety and connection with others, united in fellowship all across the world. I may not ever marry. It is possible that I coul...

God’s love and will in her life are all she needs, and anything else is extra. I grew up with an urge to be a grandmother; I just loved the idea of having a family and children. I would name my daughter after the girl who sits on the last bench in my class. I was in first grade, and I looked at my crush and thought, “If we had a daughter, I would name her after my classmate who’s at the top of our...

By repairing the past, through working the program, he found the freedom of being single. Throughout my lust addiction, romantic relationships became a golden calf to me. I thought an attractive, emotionally compatible girlfriend would fulfill and complete me.  Having a girlfriend became a persistent fantasy, but every time a woman would say yes to my proposition for a date, I would run from the r...

She came to accept Higher Power’s plan for her. I had to learn to love myself, not in the way a conceited person does, but as a precious child of God. I had to learn to enjoy my own company and to remember I am a precious child of God. Not a perfect one, but a work in progress with my Higher Power molding me to His will. I am not in charge of my life; my Higher Power is in charge. I have to accept...

Surrendering Lust helped him to surrender the shame that came with it. Yesterday, I started the day in the usual way with prayers and readings—I thank God for that. I then went to do some errands.  About mid-morning, there was a lust hit. I knew the danger, and I acted swiftly. I averted my eyes, got out of the situation, surrendered the look, and prayed. I acknowledged my powerlessness. The lust...

This tool helps him to release the past. There are moments in life when the past will not let go. I’ve started the path of recovery, made amends where I could, committed to change, and yet — the memories remain. The images return. The shame lingers. While I’ve begun to move forward on the outside, my mind is still caught in the painful echoes of what I’ve done. This is where the Prayer of Divine R...

Recovery radically changed how he celebrates Father’s Day. I used to think Father’s Day was about waiting for my children to shower me with drawings, or words that would make me feel like a good father. I thought it was a day to sit back and receive—to be told that all my sacrifices were noticed, my sleepless nights appreciated, my worrying understood. But something has shifted in me.