Eskimo Brothers

Hard-Arrgghhhh, y’all mateys hiring? Guess what? It’s still pride month. We love our gay ass friends and we want that to be crystal queer. In a perfect world, we would have special assistants like the women who bathe you in Red Dead. Gina Davis is not hot; Get real. Shout out that Chinese influencer dog who was stolen, sold for 27 dollars and then eaten in a kung-fu fashion. We’re not being insens...

Magic Boy got his tampon string caught in his lady parts. Spaceman bees in the trap at the Music City Fit’ness D*** expo. Shout out Eddie Hall. Shout out Brian Shaw: grip expert. Said his grip is so strong he can pick up 90 pound hockey pucks with his posterior. Who remembers Pepsi Nitro? A couple of beer connoisseurs, “somaligays” if you will, get to talking hops and nitrogen. Sounds like estroge...

We get to talking Eastern Medicine; Herbs, Tinctures, Testicles. Miles Davis is forever. Spaceman saved Magic Boy’s culo today. If you see him out and about, give him flowers. S/o Aussies, specifically Siggy Retts. Hanta God, Bill gates needs to quit releasing diseases on us. Ticks, rats, bats, oh my.

WE’RE COMING AT YOU HARD ALL MONTH LONG BABY. IT’S AN EXTRA WET PODCAST. Sometimes, Spaceman wishes he was just a little ant. “We all do it the saaaaaaame” Big brothers are the worst. Cynthia Erivo is Jesus. Steven Seagal is god. ME WAN DA POONANI.

Walmart is Chinese and Kroger is Japanese, both oriental in nature. If you’ve been following along the last 2 weeks, BB’s car still isn’t fixed. “That’s Charley with an E like Pride, Crockett with two T’s like Davy.” Big shout out to Widow’s Bay. July 1st, the THCA reckoning will commence. We say good riddance to that fufu lame shid.

We want to get to the bottom of mimes and mime culture… seems like a lot of trauma wrapped up in that. It’s actually alarming how mentally impaired most people are getting… not that we’re geniuses. Casa Bonita, CASA BONITA. Spaceman has spoken and he’s grown tired of Hitler. Stop and save the turtles.

BB is dealing with tire troubles What did everyone get for Memorial Day? Did the ghosts of veterans bring happy tidings? Rebellious. Essence.. look her up lmao Project Hail Mary; tell us how it ends? We only watch movies halfway through We’re on Apple and Spotify. With that said, we are promptly taking our podcast off of Spotify in protest of…something? Idk.

We had James Hetfield stop by the studio at the very top. Didn’t realize he was gay. James Franco is back and we are aroused and confused. Thomas Hayden Church is everywhere… Tires, George of the Jungle. Everywhere. Sorry for the delay; We gave Producer Gaymie the holiday weekend and he scooted on up to the Poconos. Happy Memorial Day, babies.

S/o Posh Spice that little working-class asshole. We have some gripes with the Amish stores of the world.. Why are there lights and point of sale systems? Why aren’t there women delivering more workers in the back? Where are the dirt floors? James Brown was and probably still is the greatest performer. LiViN iN aMeRiCa. “It’s actually incredibly masculine to have sex with men.” Direct quote from A...

We’re talking Bill Cosby, we’re talking Harvey Weinstein, we’re talking Clavicular. Everyone who isn’t mixed in the near future is fucked. It is what it is. Accept it. Elton John, A knight fighting for those with aids. Pass it on. These mfs are really talking about pardoning Ghislaine. Clarksville, come get your honkey.

We had Terrence sit in today; He’s a diesel mechanic, rock climber, slack liner, welder, fabricator of reality, haver of hot sisters, good lover, giant hogged etc. Shout out Tom the Uber driver Word on the transcendental yoga/nihilism/alien/chakra scene is that if you’re going to a Tool show you’re supposed to do acid and cocaine… that’s very enlightened.

SSRIs are helping men in the bedroom of all places. We came to the unfortunate conclusion that pirates were the theater kids of their time. If you were a green beret, how would you kill your wife? We’ve officially jumped the golden calf; Mar-A-Lago is the capital of Soddom and Gomorrah.

“I’m rubber, you’re tree; you cut me down, I’ll bounce off of you and eat your ass.” ESPN stats to get behind: In one season, Tyreik Hill had more children than receiving touchdowns. On a scale of, “How many children do I have” from Eric Clapton to Nick Cannon, where does NBA Youngboy fall? “If my sons can be daughters then my dog can run my business.” - Some white girl bigot probably. You know th...

We get to talking biblical-level disease today: The plague, leprosy, adultery, being Jewish etc. Colostomy bags… are we feeling them? Are we vibing? Neil Degrasse Tyson vs. Stephen Hawking: A battle of the brain. Heavy foot coverage today from two of the sexiest boys on the pod. Tune in freaks.

The Eskimo Bros get a little nihilistic. Magic Boy was absent being gay somewhere. Politics: the ultimate cash grab. The ultimate ass-blast. BB and Spaceman just wanna give it all up and become a couple of homosteaders. Tune in to see if they’ve got what it takes to plow, to squeeze, to cross pollinate.

Seems Spaceman didn’t get recorded. On a real note I do apologize for all of the recent fuck ups. On a fake note, you’re gay. Shout out to Clavicular. Sounds like he’s gonna be doing some Butthole-maxxing. We go over the lyrics to “Thrift Shop” and they are probably not what you remember.

We had Randy from Trailer Park Boys grace us at the studio today. Spaceman educates us youngin’s on the prices of dip over the years. Fucking Biden. We here at Eskimo Bros believe Elvis started soul food and you can’t tell us any different.

Spaceman got a new hobby and it may or may not involve blowing. Wtf is up with daggering? That shit hurts, right? Like how does your bag not bust? The UK just came out and said they’re going homophobic nationwide: Bob’s your uncle. It’s a wee fag ban, innit?

Looks like Ol Mike Vrabel has that dawg in him after all. We finally got BB back on track and it’s glorious. Kris Jenner is the world’s most successful pimp, right? Xanax is the closest we have in our modern day to time travel.

No BB again. If anyone has a blade, we will fall on it. Big S/O to Stallion, the pizza box, and the cache of sensitive material under the water bed. Joe Rogan is going hard for Ibogaine because he believes it’s a medicine to make you taller. He was quoted saying, “Shit, I bo gain a couple inches on god.”

Happy damn holidaze from the EskiDro Bros. In true dumb stoner fashion, BB’s mic channel didn’t get recorded. Sooooo.. Magic Boy was solicited by a bald ass prostitute. Spaceman breaks down the Frozen hierarchy. Could you sue for only eating Subway and getting fat? This question, and more, will be answered tonight at 5. Or, whenever you decide to listen.

There’s a bee swarm in Israel… they must have heard about all the honey pots 🥴🥴 We find out about some of Magic Boy’s “upper limits” and Jack tells us what he thinks an Icky Thump is all about.

Happy birthday Sam. We love you here at the pod even though you get caught speeding with no retard for human life. RIP Judith Darci. S/O r/crappymusic.

Sabrina Carpenter doesn’t like yodeling; what a bitch. She likes Scientology, though. Mickey Rourke used to be a piece of ass. From movie star to trying to turn out Jojo Siwa. Yikes. Y’all remember them gray kids from The Proud Family?

We come in hot with some over the top door humor. Touch me, baby. They say there’s satanists in Sumner County. If there ever was a time for lynching… we at Eskimo Bros would say “you’re wrong” because there’s never a time for lynching. Stick around for our lovely Foghat rendition.