Durable Dad with Tommy Geary

Lots of guys are wired to push—at work, in training, and for your family. But the real challenge isn’t pushing harder… it’s knowing when to pause. In this episode, we unpack what it actually means to do the hard thing as a high-performing man. It’s not just finishing a Spartan race. It’s staying calm with your kids. It’s being present at a family event you’d rather skip. It’s learning how to quiet...

The real reason most high-achieving men feel behind: they’re busy, but not productive. In this episode, we share how to use the Eisenhower Matrix to stop the overwhelm and start making real progress—in business, relationships, and training. This quick mindset and strategy shift will help you get clear on what actually matters. Highlights: Why “busy” doesn’t mean productive Four types of tasks and...

Our kids are watching.  In this ep we cover five essential things our kids should witness their dad doing.  Apologize and admit you're wrong. Let them catch you reading instead of scrolling on your phone. Speak kindly about people. Don't gossip or talk low of someone behind their back. (Or to their face.) Respect your wife – Don't talk condescendingly to her or about her. Ask for he...

Ever been ready to relax after a long day at work, but your wife is stressed and so there’s tension in the house for everyone? It’s tempting to tell her to calm down. Chill out. Explain that mud on the carpet isn’t a big deal. But usually this ends up in a full-blown argument. In today's episode, you'll dive into the 3G Model to help you respond in a way that actually strengthens your re...

Have you ever asked your wife, "What can I do to help?" during chaos in the home?  There's a good chance the question increased her stress level rather than reduced it. Our wife needs us to think, not just do.  When men don't absorb some of the mental load that comes with leading a family, resentment builds up. Today's episode will leave you with two main actions that&apos...

We all have past decisions that make us cringe. Things we'd do differently the second time around, given the chance.  But if we don't make peace with those decisions, they'll cause us to procrastinate and overanalyze our decisions today. They'll make a dent in our confidence and lead us to subconsciously question ourselves when we have a big decision on our plate. You'll l...

Short days, long nights, viruses, and temps in the teens. A lot of guys are feeling weighed down or trapped at this stage in winter. It's an I-gotta-get-out-of-here feeling and it doesn't jive well with our spouse and kids.  Today's episode will leave you with four actionable takeaways that'll zap the cabin fever feeling: 1. Put on the proper gear and get outdoors. 2. Declutter...

At some point, in the next 365 days, your wife will have a birthday.  And for men, this day can weigh on us. What will you get her? What will you do together? How will you make it a great day for her? Thoughtful decisions to be made that we don't have time for. Today's episode will take the pressure off so the birthday planning doesn't wear you down and your wife knows you care. You...

Why would a successful man shift careers? Maybe you want more freedom, flexibility, autonomy. Maybe you want to feel like you're making a difference – that what you're doing matters. Or maybe it's all of the above.  Whatever your motivation, you're not alone in wanting to make career changes despite having reached certain milestones in your life. When men feel the nudge, 4 main...

We’re ready to hit new goals in 2025. The journey we're embarking on is an inward journey.  Not so much a pursuit as it is an uncovering.  Shedding some of our programing, habits and lines of thinking, in order to uncover a truer version of you.  Personal growth is a process of peeling back protective layers. In this episode we dive into • Exploring how goal setting can help reveal our inner...

Small talk can be draining – surface-level conversations that leave you bored or tired.  But this episode will give you a new and valuable take on small talk. Because if we’re only living for the big events, we’re missing out on 98% of life. The same goes with interactions with people.  Those small, seemingly meaningless conversations are actually the glue that holds us together. This goes for our...

This week, we cover three Stoic practices to navigate family tension and not let it get in the way of enjoying the holidays.  You will: - Plan for potential difficulties so you’re not blindsided. - Reframe challenges as opportunities. - Accept people for who they are and love them anyway. Listen so you can relieve tension and soak in the holidays with your fam. If this episode helped you think dif...

I send a weekly reflection form to my guys the day before each session – just four quick questions so they can get some insight on what's working, what's not, and what to change. And I've noticed a pattern. Looking back at all the answers, a lot of guys celebrate one-on-one time.  Individual time with their wife. With their kid. With their dad or anyone they care about. That one-on-...

How’s your phone usage? One guy I was working with knew he was on it too much at bedtime and that it was interfering with his sleep.  We pulled three principles from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits and honed in on: 1. Habit stacking 2. Environment support 3. Identity shift Whether you’re trying use your phone less, go for a run more consistently, or drink less alcohol, this episode will help you...

Why do we overreact?  Even when we know better.  We know it’s gonna piss someone off or upset the person in front of us, but our mouth takes a mind of it’s own and say the thing anyway.  The truth is, our brains have evolved to overestimate danger, loss, or rejection.  We’re a lot safer and more loved than our brain lets on. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk breaks the brain down into three parts: The cook...

We don't want to make decisions from a rut. And by rut, I mean anxious, bummed out, down – When things feel stagnant or even in a downward spiral. Here are three steps to get out a rut so you can make better decisions: Step 1: What's the worst-case scenario? Let your brain run. Speak it out loud. Write it down. What's your brain worried might happen? Step 2: What's the best-cas...

Are you making things more difficult for yourself? Whether life feels pretty normal, or if you’re going through a rough patch, here’s an equation that’ll make things easier for you: Suffering = Pain x Resistance In other words, the more you resist the hard, the more you suffer. Conversely, the more you embrace the “suck,” the easier things will flow for you.  Listen to today’s episode to learn exa...

We all have a default mode of operating – Our general disposition. Maybe it’s intense go-go mode, or more of a slow, steady, calm mode.  The important thing to remember is that we get to control our mode.  It’s not hardwired.  You’re in the driver seat and your hand is on the gear shifter. Being self-led means shifting down or up for the appropriate situations.  4th gear isn’t helpful while parent...

I was talking to a buddy the other day about his son’s cleanliness (or lack of), and he said something that I think every dad can relate to.  He said he just wants his kids to be decent humans.  When our kids go off into the world, we wanna know that we’ve raised a decent person.  And this desire can lead us to correct our kids at every opportunity.  If we let something slide, we’re not doing our...

When we snap, it seems to happen suddenly. Like it's the last straw, and there's no stopping the volcano eruption. But there are ways to stop it.  Today's episode will do a quick review of the thinking cycle – the triad of the only aspects you can control in your life: your thoughts, emotions, and actions.  This thinking cycle is the key element in getting in front of the blow-ups a...

Can watching Netflix or scrolling through social media really help you unwind? Today's episode will look at common strategies men use to unplug at the end of the day, and you'll walk away with better options.  Imagine you're an archer, and you have a quiver of arrows on your back. Each of these arrows is a strategy to unplug for a moment. Some of these arrows leave you with a net ne...

Are you screwing up enough? We’ve seen all the memes about “failing forward” and “using failure as a stepping stone.” But STILL, subconsciously, we let the fear of failure hold us back.  That fear is hardwired into us, and until we put ourselves out there and fail over and over, that fear will lock us down. Because deep down, we believe failure is a problem. But failure is not the problem. What we...

While we can’t control other people, we CAN influence them. In fact, we’re influencing others at all times, whether we want to or not – Especially our kids. Our influence happens because of a function in our brain called neuroception. Neuroception is constantly reading the room – assessing the people and surroundings to evaluate: safe? Or not safe? Neuroception takes in another person’s body langu...

We have impact (not control) over our employees.  And as their leader, THE most IMPACTFUL thing we can do, is clean up our thoughts about them – especially if it’s an employee that can get under our skin.  Here’s why: When we’re mildly annoyed by an employee, they feel it.  Humans can tell if they’re wanted in the room, or not. And if they’re not wanted, they aren’t able to open up to their best,...

A playbook is a set of expectations we have for another person. If you were the coach of a football team, you’d have a set of playbooks, and you’d expect your team members to play the game accordingly.  We do the same thing in life with ordinary people, except they rarely play according to our expectations.  And that’s why our kids’ can be friggen frustrating. Or our wife, employees, or parents… T...