Don’t Scare the Newbies!

What goes into planning for a public play event? In this episode, kirizal and S talk about the considerations for planning a public scene - fetiquette, rules, equipment, time, and the role of the audience - love the attention or terrified of it, they’re there! Then, W/we get into some actual planning - see how W/we plan four days worth of scenes for an upcoming event, including the much anticipate...

This week, kirizal and S are talking periods. While period sex doesn't necessarily have to be a kink, it can be - and W/we talk about what this does for U/us. S shares why They took a while to get on board with getting bloody, W/we talk about the impact of misogyny on how periods and period sex are seen, and the emotionally masochistic intersection of dysphoria and pleasure for kirizal. Plus - per...

This week’s guests are Duncan, one of the founders of Newcastle Leathermen, and Tea, a bootblack and Newcastle Leathermen’s first nonbinary member. Plus Tea’s partner popping in with an occasional comment! O/our guests share the power of community, culture differences between Leather communities and the Fetlife-based kink scene, visibility and how Newcastle Leathermen navigate venues and social me...

This week, kirizal and S are chatting about sexual orientation - from O/our coming out stories (one at 14, and one at 41!), kirizal’s multiple coming outs and the pan vs bi distinction, T4T dating, and whether O/our kink identities are a part of sexual orientation for U/us. Plus - outsourcing the terrifying task of talking to women, hot takes from S and the usual soapbox moments from kirizal. Cont...

Adult babies Jen and Tealeaves sat down with kirizal and S this week to share their experiences - through all the noise of stigma and misconceptions, they share the authenticity and joy of little space, kink as a core part of identity, the intimacy of vulnerability, and lots more. Plus - censorship and recent legal challenges, a fascinating diversion into inducing lactation, and Jen's plans to mak...

It's Pride Month, so in the first of O/our queer focused episodes kirizal and S jump straight in with the annual discourse topic, does kink belong at Pride? W/we also chat about O/our first Prides, the commercialisation and coorporate involvement in Pride season, bystander consent, children and families at Pride, purity culture and the very British fear of acknowleding sex, and lots more! kirizal...

After the S-heavy long distance episode, W/we thought it was kirizal's turn to have the spotlight and dive into one of their specialist topics - addiction and recovery. kirizal spent most of their 20s battling mental health issues which spiralled into drug dependency and a crisis that almost cost them their life. In this episode W/we talk about that journey through into recovery, unmasking the dar...

Lana and Edward join kirizal and S to give U/us an introduction into the wild world of erotic hypnosis. Navigating censorship to find resources, what appeals about the closest thing to magic and mind control that people can tap into, favourite experiences and riskiest mistakes, managing risk, and an overview of how it works. This episode may have unlocked a new kink for U/us - and offers a fascina...

Once again kirizal and S are watching a movie, and James Spader is playing a pervert (with hair)! This week W/we're discussing the 1996 movie Crash - but if you haven't seen it, come on in, the plot is light and the episode gets deep! W/we're here for the controversy and censorship that surrounded Crash on release, the intersection between sex, technology, and urban isolation, and asking the quest...

This week, kirizal and S get into all the gory details of blood play. From the visual appeal to the perceived - if not always actual - intensity, W/we chat about what it does for U/us and the unique sensations. W/we share some memorable scenes - including the first time W/we met and the first time W/we had sex, plus chat toys and techniques, the details of planning a scene, and the all important s...

BDSM model and author Ariel Anderssen (who is also kirizal's sister!) - joins U/us on the podcast this week. She shares her story of overcoming shame from a Jehovah's Witness upbringing and healing from abuse, discovering kink in the time before Fetlife, and stories from her long and impressive career. Plus - feminism and kink, kink community outside the munch and play event scene, and the impact...

This week, S takes the lead with Their first time writing the episode outline (exciting!) as W/we tackle the topic of long distance relationships. While kirizal has never dated further than a couple of counties over, S spent three years in a relationship at a distance of 4000 miles. Covering the joy and creativity of long distance love, the challenges of supporting a partner when you can’t just po...

This week, Lydia - founder of luxury bondage brand Kilter - joins kirizal and S to put the Business Development, Sales, and Marketing into BDSM. W/we chat about the challenges of promoting adult businesses on social media, the realities of starting a BDSM brand, her dad’s enthusiasm for her business, and life as a kinky lesbian. Find more of Lydia at: https://bykilter.com/ https://www.subtlebond.c...

In this episode, Mx and kirizal dig into shame, objectification, worthlessness, and all the messy emotions of degradation and humiliation. How these kinks can enhance O/our play, why they turn U/us on, and a deep dive into trauma play, body shaming, verbal degradation and humiliation, and "the umbrella of gross kinks". Plus - kirizal's journey into emotional masochism, negotiation and aftercare sk...

Enthusiastic findom newbies kirizal and S dive into the controversial subject of playing with money. W/we chat about the politics of playing with the power of capitalism, the taboo of talking about money in relationships, and why financial domination carries so much stigma and shame. Plus - ethics and safety, the symbolism and meaning behind giving and receiving money, and how findom works for U/u...

This week, W/we’re bigger than ever - talking big dicks, big toys, and fisting. kirizal dives into what’s going on with their size kink, while S is in it for the objectification and mad science. W/we tackle the age old question of does size matter, chat porn dick and dick pics, and discuss the appeal of non-standard sex toys. Plus - safety, stretching tips, and kirizal forces S to accept complimen...

This week, Bunny and L join kirizal and S for a chat about the sillier and more lighthearted side of kink - WAM (wet and messy) and looner (balloon) kinks! Bunny is an adult content creator and takes U/us through their adventures of discovering new desires through performance, experiences of running specialist kink events, and what the draw is of these desires. L - one of their partners - shares t...

Time for another kinky movie, and this time it’s Secretary. kirizal and S talk about relatability in awkwardness, agency in submission, and the joy in seeing kink on screen represented as genuinely perverse and unpolished. Plus - masochism and self harm, neurodivergence in kink, and W/we find out if kirizal can read out a movie quote without crying. Content Note: Spoilers for Secretary throughout,...

On this episode, Mark joins kirizal and S to talk about sharps play - needles, blades and scalpels. W/we chat about finding the resources to learn these types of skills, vetting and negotiating for play, the appeal of blood and scars, and managing risk. Plus lots more! Content Note: Detailed discussion of sharps play including blood and scarring, brief mention of self harm. Conversations around de...

This week W/we’re getting back to basics with a closer look at the classics - dominance and submission. What separates power play from other areas of kink? How can power be expressed, where does it come from and what different flavours can it have? kirizal and S talk about negotiation for power exchange, different approaches to rules and authority styles, the role of discipline, and lots more! Wit...

Location tracking, surveillance cameras, and an open door policy - as often happens, kirizal’s dream life sounds like many people’s worst nightmare. On this episode, S and kirizal chat about the ways that W/we erode privacy and dignity in a fun, consensual way. Also - the age old debate about the construction of a proper cream tea, kirizal’s many open tabs, and pooping with the door open. Follow k...

Tom and Kay - hosts of Insert Here - join kirizal and S to chat about polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and all the excitement and challenges that comes with navigating alternative relationship styles. Plus - exhibitionism, kinky podcaster life, and lots more! Listen to Insert Here anywhere you find podcasts, and check out their website here: insertherekink.com Follow kirizal’s blog and find all th...

Who would wanna get stung by nettles on purpose? Probably surprising to no one that the answer is kirizal, with S more than happy to deliver. So as W/we look forward to nettle season just around the corner, kirizal and S break down the process and techniques involved in nettle play, just a touch of science, and lots of footling about. Follow kirizal’s blog and find all their socials at www.kirizal...

On this episode, Hope's back with her flatmate Ash joining her to talk about their exploration in kink - we chat petplay, primal, and embracing the animal within, kink on a budget, switching, gender identity, and kink outside of a defined relationship or power dynamic, plus lots more! There was a major audio issue with this recording, which Ash and Hope worked for weeks to repair for U/us (much ap...

In this episode W/we answer popular Tiktok search “is kirizal a boy or a girl”, S and kirizal compare gender “journeys”, and chat about how gender identity, roles, oppression, and expression influence kink. Plus - how inclusive is the kink community? Is kink better when it’s self aware and subversive? And is it a feminist act to be horny? Content Note: Discussion of misogyny and transphobia Follow...