Don’t Scare the Newbies!

Through S’s repeated disclaimers that appearance control is NOT about making kirizal hotter, W/we talk about the undeniable glow up that happened in 2025. Why is appearance control so fun? Is being a bimbo really about being any less smart? And how does hyper-femininity feel for a nonbinary person? Plus - kirizal slips into bimbo headspace mid-recording, and S continues to lose the battle to stop...

kirizal’s ex, Hope (previously known as Alexea), joins U/us this episode to talk about navigating breakups in power exchange relationships. How do people disentangle their lives when they have created such an interdependent structure? How do submissives decondition from rules that have become reflex? And how can kinky couples exit plan for a softer landing while still riding the optimism of the ho...

In this episode, kirizal and S answer listener questions and recap 2025. Laughs, tears, healing and perversions, this episode has it all as W/we round up a busy, exciting, and very kinky year. Content Note: Although nothing particularly explicit, this episode does include mentions of play involving simulated sexual assault and domestic violence

It wouldn’t be Christmas without some light trauma dumping, a discussion about the link between religious shame and CNC, and some historical genital mutilation. It’s O/our festive episode, so kirizal and S talk faith and spirituality, O/our childhood Christmas traditions and the new ones W/we are making together, kink as a spiritual experience, how worship and ritual fit into O/our dynamic, and th...

W/we interrupt O/our schedule to discuss Pillion - negative messaging about 24/7 dynamics sour the taste of kirizal and S’s cinema date night, service, emotional masochism and letting kink be delightfully weird bring some authenticity to the mix, and some questionable marketing miss-sells U/us a “raunchy rom-com” that’s definitely not Do movies have a responsibility in how they represent communiti...

What do kirizal and S like about burns, branding and cigarette torture? Well, for one thing, it’s hot! W/we chat all about burning, from kirizal’s slightly reckless early experimentation, to S’s introduction to this sizzlingly spicy kind of play. Plus - solo masochism vs self harm, what is the difference between a kink and a fetish, anti-smoking PSAs gone wrong and what happens if W/we ever give u...

Is anal sex kinky? Whatever you think - it’s kinky enough for U/us! kirizal and S talk about O/our experiences - why the girls, gays, and theys do butt stuff better, S’s quest for Their own cum button, the appeal of painal, and the blessing (or curse) of having an absolutely enormous penis. Lots of giggles, some helpful tips, and the important debate of douching vs spontaneity. Content Note: Inevi...

kirizal botches the intro for a solid minute, S and kirizal are forced into time travel due to a rogue washing machine, and through the chaos W/we share O/our thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey - terrible kink representation, a crucial moment in mainstream acceptance, pure cringe, or all of the above? Content note: Some discussion of poor consent practices and fantasies about abuse and non-con Wanna...

How did kirizal go from a kitchen that was semi-permanently on fire, to home cooking from scratch every day? Why is S scared They’ll forget how a washing machine works? And do W/we get super horny about washing up? In this episode, W/we talk about the reality of domestic service in O/our dynamic - what needs it meets for U/us, how O/our roles support each other, and what a day in the life of a ver...

What is sadism and masochism, how are they different from dominance and submission, and what does anyone get out of playing with pain? kirizal and S dive into the intersection of pain and pleasure and how these roles fit into O/our way of doing kink Content Note: Some discussion of burns, vomit, and body image/shaming Wanna hear kirizal (and possibly S) talk kink live? Newcastle event 5th December...

Breathplay is one of the most popular kinks, and also one of the most potentially deadly. kirizal and S talk about O/our approach to breathplay, changing risk profiles over time, and the alarming popularity of choking. Content Note: This episode discusses torture, drowning, and death, although none in graphic detail. It also includes (obviously) in depth discussion about high risk kinks, and is no...

Nat of The North East Life Art Project joins kirizal and S as O/our first guest. Talking life modelling, body image, objectification, power exchange, sexuality vs sensuality, and so much more! Will S take Their clothes off for money, what has kirizal been doing on the wines at the business meetings, and how is Nat like a banana? Plus an exciting announcement - Don’t Scare the Newbies! is taking ya...

In the last episode, kirizal and S talked contracts - and the development of the fixed foundation of O/our power exchange. Now it’s onto the living document of O/our rules - covering protocol, limits, punishment, and the fine details of a life built together to bring kink out from the dungeon and into the ordinary and the every day. Part two of O/our two-parter on the filthy, nerdy structure of O/...

Contracts, rules, formal reviews and paperwork - hot, right? The formal structure of power exchange relationships can often sound like boring admin from the outside, but for two self confessed sex nerds, writing a contract together was like months of foreplay. In this episode, S and kirizal talk about the journey to O/our first contract of Total Power Exchange and talk through everything that goes...

One of O/our favourite - and often very misunderstood and oversimplified kinks - is CNC: consensual non-consent. Exploring violation, control, violence, and surrender in both play and O/our dynamic is something that draws U/us both - but how do you keep focus on the “first C” when playing in the darkest parts of your mind? Is it safe? Is it ethical? And is it really just about “forced” fantasies o...

W/we sit down to share tips on overcoming a play slump, finding ways to create time and space for all kinds of intimacy when life gets in the way. In July 2025 W/we set a challenge to do something kinky every day for 31 days and almost succeeded - including the most intense and brutal beating kirizal has ever taken and a life changing camping trip, so in this episode W/we recap some highlights fro...

Recorded two days after the most brutal, intense, and transformative scene W/we have ever done, kirizal and S abandon O/our regularly scheduled content to relive the three hour interrogation scene that was more than two months in the making. Talking about the practical elements, negotiation, emotional impact, and kirizal’s top tips to endure torture. The blog post referenced in this episode is ‘No...

Not all kink involves sex, and not all sex involves kink, but the crossover between the two is a lot of fun! W/we talk sexual communication, overcoming sexual function challenges, and kirizal demands answers to where S learned Their skills in unhinged pussy witchcraft Content Note: This episode includes discussion of blood play, vomit, and fantasies about sexual assault

As you might expect from a couple with a kink podcast, talking about kink is one of O/our favourite things to do! But communication in power exchange relationships is about more than that - in this episode W/we talk about consent models, negotiation, risk management, and the importance of regular check ins - with some clips from one of O/our monthly dynamic review sessions to show how it works! Co...

Get to know kirizal and S - O/our earliest kink experiences, kirizal’s chronic over-sharing vs S’s more reserved and private nature, and how on earth that combination led to a podcast about O/our most intimate moments Content Note: This episode includes brief discussion of addiction, and consensual non-consent play involving simulated sexual assault

The world of kink sounds intimidating and complicated, so how does anyone get started? kirizal and S talk about O/our starting points, and how (and why) W/we found O/our way into the kink community after exploring alone. Risk, adventure, and connection - let’s talk about everything involved in getting into kink.

A little snippet of what’s to come!