Doing Marriage Well

This episode explains why people often can’t admit what they truly need from their spouse: social expectations, fear of appearing weak, and old patterns from being denied as children. It describes how asking for the right things matters for feeling loved and how silence or seeking the wrong things keeps you empty. The host encourages recognising those patterns, having honest conversations with you...

Doing Marriage Well — April 21, 2026: Paul explores the power of vulnerable requests and the importance of asking for emotional needs in marriage. Using simple examples (Tilly and Whisky asking for attention and Lori saying, “I will need extra hugs today”), he shows how clear requests build trust, lists common reasons people avoid asking, and encourages couples to speak honestly about what they ne...

Paul explains that while faith in Jesus is essential, marriage also requires meeting one another’s human needs. God created us for relationship, and a spouse must intentionally look for and fulfil legitimate needs through sacrifice and care. Listen and reflect on what you need from your partner and how you can better meet their needs—doing marriage well means combining faith with practical love.

This episode explores how sex drive is more than a physical urge and why responsive desire—wanting sex and choosing to act— is normal, especially for many women. It explains how emotions and relationship connection shape desire and offers simple ways to initiate intimacy without waiting to feel horny. We also discuss changes in men's bodies and erections, why an erection isn't the sole sign of des...

This episode explains why sex can become painful after menopause—falling estrogen thins and dries intimate tissues—and how topical estrogen (creams, rings, or tablets) restores tissue thickness, improves lubrication, lowers vaginal pH, and can reduce infections. Your doctor will advise which option is best for you. When medication isn’t enough, careful stretching (using a lubricated finger or part...

This episode explains why a couple's thinking is the key to a great sex life—be intentional about having sex, dealing with problems, and adapting as bodies and schedules change. Practical advice includes committing to regular intimacy, communicating and engaging fully during sex, trying new approaches as needed, and planning for physical changes so intimacy remains satisfying through the years.

Paul outlines two simple diagnostic questions—do erections soften during sex, and do you wake with firm morning erections—to distinguish venous leak, physical, or psychological causes of ED. He explains practical solutions: a snug, easy-to-remove penis ring for venous leak, ED medications like Cialis or generics, and the importance of medical evaluation for cardiovascular risk factors. Married Dan...

This episode of Doing Marriage Well explores sex after 50 and how couples can keep their sexual lives satisfying as they age. Paul highlights common issues, the widespread lack of accurate sexual-health knowledge, and the importance of learning about your own and your partner’s bodies. He discusses where people look for help—doctors and the internet; notes the variability in expertise and informat...

Paul explains why inviting your spouse into your spiritual life matters and how your walk with Jesus should shape your marriage. He suggests talking about your spiritual upbringing, conversion, current prayer life, Bible reading, and theological views with grace—seeking understanding rather than debate. If one spouse is not saved, Paul encourages gentle witness and shared practices like prayer, de...

Paul discusses why sexual transparency between spouses matters and how sharing your sexual history can build empathy, explain triggers, and lead to greater intimacy. He urges honest but compassionate conversations—acknowledging both light memories and painful experiences—while prioritising safety, patience, and mutual support for healing and a stronger marriage.

This episode challenges couples to remove emotional armor and practice "emotional nudity" by opening deep feelings to one another with safety, patience, and mutual grace. Paul offers practical guidance: go slowly if trust is low, accept emotions without taking responsibility for them, respond with compassion rather than defensiveness, and work toward honest conversations that heal and strengthen y...

In this episode Paul invites couples to move from past-focused conversations to sharing the thoughts they carry in the present — dreams (big and small), fears, frustrations, evolving beliefs, and reactions to current events — so spouses can better know each other and strengthen their marriage. He recommends a practical habit: a daily 10-minute "mental update" to share what's on your mind, with lon...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (April 7, 2026), Paul explains why sharing your past matters for a healthy marriage and how revealing your history helps your spouse understand and give grace. He offers practical steps—start with joyful memories, gradually share harder experiences, and try a "history date night" where each person shares three happy rooms and one difficult room—to foster heal...

This episode explores the idea of a "no-closed-doors" marriage, encouraging couples to gradually open the hidden or locked emotional rooms they keep from one another. It emphasises that transparency can bring healing and deeper intimacy but warns it's not suitable for struggling marriages or any situation involving abuse. Listeners are advised to move slowly, give each other grace, and celebrate s...

Paul explores how early messages about sex shape our sexual self-image and create guilt, shame, and barriers in marriage. He explains that much of this baggage comes from parents and childhood experiences, and that both men and women are affected. Drawing on what God says about sexuality, Paul encourages couples to talk openly, identify the roots of their negative beliefs, and support each other i...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (April 2, 2026), Paul examines how learned communication patterns—yelling, sarcasm, silent treatment, threats, and other hurtful tactics—turn arguments into battles that damage marriages. He explains why trying to "win" an argument leaves both partners and the relationship worse off. Paul offers a better approach: speak honestly but non‑confrontationally, lis...

Discover how the way you see yourself affects your marriage and learn practical steps to reshape your self-image. This episode explores the childhood and social influences that form our self-perception, how those patterns show up in relationships, and specific actions—writing your self-view, seeking trusted feedback, and turning to faith—to help you become the person you want to be. Paul offers gu...

This episode explores how childhood wounds can create excessive self-sufficiency that harms marriage, making it hard to trust and connect with a spouse. Paul and Lori share a personal turning point that forced them to confront independence, begin healing, and learn to rely on each other, with practical encouragement for listeners to let their partners in. Related Article: How Your Childhood Can Af...

Paul challenges couples to stop blaming their childhood or parents for current marriage problems and instead take ownership of their actions, seek healing, and do the work required to change. He urges anyone stuck in the past to get help, noting resources like the Allender Center, and reminds listeners that while understanding roots matters, responsibility for change rests with each individual. Re...

Paul explores how sexual compromise leaves many marriages unsatisfied, with women feeling obligated and men shaped by unhealthy expectations, and explains why most couples struggle to find mutual joy. He lays out a biblical way forward — humility, mutual desire, forgiveness, openness, and honouring one another — showing how agreeing with God about sex can restore pleasure and connection in marriag...

In this episode Paul examines the "yes trap"—when a spouse consistently gives in out of fear of rejection rather than love—and how people-pleasing quietly erodes a marriage. He offers practical steps for partners: open, gentle communication, give choices to make expressing preferences safer, watch for times your spouse is being taken advantage of, and patiently help them build boundaries so the re...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (March 25, 2026), Paul explores how past emotional wounds quietly shape conflicts in marriage—affecting desires, avoidance, and personality tensions like introversion and extroversion. He encourages honest conversations with your spouse about why you feel the way you do and the promise to work toward healing together. Paul explains that admitting the influenc...

When spouses want different things, compromise often leaves both unhappy. This episode explains a “third alternative” that finds solutions satisfying everyone’s needs, and explores accommodation and flexibility as healthier ways to resolve conflicts. Practical examples and encouragement on listening, emotional maturity, and creative options show how couples can preserve connection instead of keepi...

This episode challenges the idea that compromise must leave both partners equally dissatisfied and explores why that approach can be unfair or manipulative. Paul offers a critique of standard compromise and introduces healthier ways for couples to handle conflicting needs without forcing equal unhappiness.

This episode explores how couples can navigate sexual needs, perceived selfishness, and misunderstandings to strengthen emotional connection. Paul highlights that wanting or not wanting sex (or specific acts) are valid needs, explains how past trauma or lack of emotional contact can create barriers, and warns against harmful stereotypes that misread motives. Practical takeaways: honest communicati...