Doing Marriage Well

This episode of Doing Marriage Well examines how childhood experiences—neglect, overindulgence, or messages about deserving—shape our ability to ask spouses for emotional and practical needs. Paul explains how differing perspectives on needs can create conflict, offers steps to identify and communicate your patterns, and encourages honest conversations or professional help to build healthier vulne...

This episode explores how setting healthy boundaries in marriage can be mistaken for selfishness, using real examples of spouses with conflicting emotional and physical needs. It explains why emotional exhaustion deserves the same respect as physical needs and how fear of being labelled selfish can distort giving and receiving in a relationship. The hosts offer a balanced Christian perspective tha...

This episode explores how everyday differences—like morning routines, music, or weekend plans—can escalate when spouses misjudge each other’s needs. Paul emphasises honest, vulnerable conversations: explain what you need, why it matters, rank needs when possible, and revisit the discussion as life changes to keep your marriage healthy.

This episode explores how to balance caring for your spouse with caring for yourself, using stories from Jesus, a recent ER visit, and personal caregiving experience. It asks where limits lie, how to recognise them, and emphasises that self-care is essential to doing marriage well.

This episode explores how frequent complaining to your spouse — about politics, work, or small frustrations — can damage your relationship when it becomes constant rather than occasional venting. The host shares a personal confession about learned habits, the vicious cycle of seeking responses, and how hearing a partner’s feedback revealed the problem. He describes practical changes he’s making: c...

On Doing Marriage Well (March 13, 2026), Paul explores common ways partners unintentionally push each other away in the bedroom — from word choices and sexual jokes to unexpected or unwanted touch and awkward post-sex comments. He encourages noticing these habits, talking about them when it feels safe, and adjusting behaviour to protect intimacy, and notes that sexual care looks different for ever...

Nagging isn’t just irritating — it’s often a warning sign that something deeper is wrong in the marriage. Persistent, repetitive urgings can come from frustration, habit, or past wounds and usually make change less likely. If you catch yourself nagging, admit it, choose one issue to address, explain why it matters to you, and say what you need. If you’re being nagged, treat it as a cry for help: l...

In this episode we look at why criticism often backfires in marriage and how to say things that actually help. Criticism can feel like an attack, and a spouse’s history or your tone can make it worse. Practical tips include starting with appreciation, using I-statements, being specific, avoiding generalisations like "always" or "never", offering solutions, and picking your battles. These steps hel...

Using a highway passing-lane story, this episode shows how subconscious reactions, pride, and a need for control can escalate into danger and tragedy — and how the same impulses can harm marriages. Instead of racing to prove a point, choose to 'pull over' emotionally: step back, let your spouse go ahead, and discuss the issue later when you’re both calm. Pride rarely helps a marriage thrive.

Using a familiar example of tailgating on a busy two‑lane highway, Paul explains how pushing someone often produces the opposite effect: drivers slow down or resist, and the same dynamic can happen in marriage. Instead of pressuring your spouse, try giving them a little space—stepping back can encourage them to move forward and improve the relationship’s pace and safety.

Doing Marriage Well for March 6, 2026 — A short post about gratitude, desire, and enjoying a quiet night together, illustrated by the a cappella track "Slow Ride" by the Coates (Seattle). Paul reflects on a kiss that speaks volumes as his wife leaves for work, celebrates unhurried sex as one way to connect, and encourages letting both God and your spouse know how much you cherish your marriage and...

This episode explores how to build the marriage you want in retirement by investing in your relationship now. Using The Beatles' "When I'm 64" as a prompt, Paul explains why coasting in busy midlife years can leave couples feeling like roommates and offers a clear call to stay connected, prioritise intimacy, and keep talking. Practical suggestions include cultivating shared interests, planning sim...

Doing Marriage Well — March 5, 2026: “I Was Your Clown” uses Elton John & Kiki Dee’s 1976 hit “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” to show how humour and comfort can lighten a spouse’s darkest moments. The episode explains that sometimes a laugh, sometimes a kind word, a silent hug, or a long snuggle is what helps most; other times prayer, a listening ear, or giving space is needed. Being what your sp...

This episode explores marriage battle wounds and why hiding hurts. Today's playlist pick is "This Is Me" from The Greatest Showman (link in show notes). We reframe the song to say "This is us" — you and your spouse. The episode uses wounded imagery to talk about real marriage struggles. Many couples hide their wounds behind carefully crafted lies. That secrecy keeps them from receiving support and...

In this episode Paul uses Lindsey Stirling's comeback story to highlight the small but powerful word "yet"—a reminder that struggling couples can improve their relationships with patience and effort. He encourages listeners not to be defeated by negative voices, to keep working on communication, intimacy, and respect, and to believe that a stronger marriage is possible. Lindsey Stirling’s Eye of t...