Doing Marriage Well

This episode explores sexual freedom within Christian marriage, showing how Scripture—including the Song of Songs—affirm God’s good design for physical intimacy between spouses. Paul encourages couples to identify and discard unbiblical teachings that have created shame, to keep their sex life private and consensual, and to honour mutual boundaries while celebrating the freedom to enjoy one anothe...

Paul explores how couples can disagree safely by choosing kindness and calm over winning. He emphasizes understanding different processing styles—fast vs. slow and verbal processing—and making space for those differences. Using personal examples, Paul explains how to make accommodations, stay emotionally mature, and allow your spouse to hold a different view without shutting down the conversation.

Couples grow and change throughout life — sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly. This episode explains why marriage needs ongoing sharing and adjustment so partners don’t drift apart as they develop new priorities, roles, and faith. Giving each other the freedom to change, communicating honestly, and processing differences in real time helps marriages adapt. Small adjustments, occasional sacrifices...

This episode explores the importance of creating a marriage where each partner can be fully themselves without fear of judgement. It highlights the freedom to speak, share quirks, and reveal past mistakes while receiving consistent love and acceptance. Paul encourages couples to embrace each other’s uniqueness, offering practical insight on how acceptance strengthens connection and makes marriage...

Paul explores what freedom looks like inside a healthy marriage: mutual permissions and nurtured trust rather than unchecked licence. He focuses on the freedom to be wrong—offering the benefit of the doubt, generous forgiveness, and emotional safety that lets spouses admit mistakes and take risks. He also stresses balance: don’t take advantage of that freedom, and reciprocate it. Doing marriage we...

In this episode Paul explains that many couples follow a single sex "script" that often favours the husband and leaves the wife less satisfied. He urges partners to talk about what they really enjoy and assume the current script may not fit both people. Practical ideas include using multiple positions, taking turns focusing on each partner, masturbating together, and sometimes stopping short—simpl...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (July 2, 2026), Paul examines how "marriage gripe fests" and echo chambers formed around shared hurt can undermine relationships, drawing on Absalom's tactics in 2 Samuel as a warning. He urges listeners to seek friends who offer loving accountability, question their part in conflict, and avoid groups that only validate bitterness and excuse poor behaviour.

This episode reflects on a sermon about King David and Absalom and asks whether we use spiritual activity to avoid addressing real issues in our marriages. It emphasises that apologies should be common and sincere, explains how delayed apologies and busy ministry can mask neglect at home, and cites biblical warnings about failing to care for family while serving others. Listeners are encouraged to...

In this episode, Sean asks whether you’ve emotionally checked out of your marriage to avoid conflict, encouraging spouses to engage honestly and lovingly rather than withdrawing. Using Biblical examples and practical advice, the message urges couples to speak difficult truths, seek help for recurring fights, and remember that communication is essential to a healthy, Christ-centred marriage.

Paul borrows insights from Sean’s sermon on 2 Samuel 15:1–12 to show how David’s failure to address Amnon’s crime against Tamar led to deeper family damage and Absalom’s rebellion. Ignored harms rarely disappear; they strengthen, draw others in, and spill over into marriages. Paul urges listeners to set aside pride, repair relationships, and address family issues before they grow and harm your mar...

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (June 26, 2026), Paul examines how unspoken wedding‑day messages and cultural pressures promote sexual selfishness and quietly damage marriages. He explains sexual generosity—how it applies to both partners, why sometimes saying no is loving, and when yielding or pulling back can be the kinder choice. Paul challenges common narratives that encourage entitleme...

This episode presents research on marital generosity, reporting a survey of 1,365 couples and related studies that show generosity is linked to higher marital satisfaction, lower conflict, and a reduced perceived risk of divorce. Generosity is defined as small acts of service, expressions of affection, displays of respect, and a willingness to forgive. The episode also notes religiosity and person...

Using the "marmalade trap" as a metaphor, this episode explains why giving what you prefer can fail to bless the person you care about. True generosity means learning your spouse’s tastes, wants, and what will actually make them feel valued. The episode also covers common obstacles — people who won’t ask, who hide or don’t know their desires — and offers practical advice: watch what makes your par...

In this episode Paul explains why steady generosity—not just when you feel like it—is one of the most powerful practices in marriage. He urges listeners to set a minimum standard of kindness and give even when tired, stressed, or when the other person seems undeserving. Grounded in a Christian perspective, the message encourages calling on God’s help, protecting your limits, and deciding to be gen...

Paul and Lori revisit the roots of their message, defining generosity biblically and reflecting on the parable of the unmerciful servant to show why grace demands generosity toward those closest to us. They explain that generosity is joyful, sacrificial, and willing sharing of time, talents, and resources, and challenge listeners to evaluate where they are generous at home and to change their marr...

Paul challenges cultural and Freudian myths about male and female sexuality, explaining how anatomy — not moral failure or poor technique — often determines whether a woman orgasms from intercourse. He dispels harmful stereotypes, describes the role of clitoral vaginal distance, and offers a simple, practical suggestion (using a small vibrator between partners during face-to-face intercourse) to h...

This episode looks at a common false image some women have of their husbands—treating them like a child or calling them a “man-child”—and explains how that perception can harm him, the marriage, and the children. Paul explores why men’s playfulness and women’s higher daily stress can create misperceptions, and offers practical guidance: challenge your assumptions, communicate gently, and ask for r...

This episode explores how a heartfelt but false view of a wife as fragile—shaped by culture or past experiences—undermines marriage. Paul explains how projecting weakness can lead to secrecy, imbalance, and justification of sin. Listeners are urged to compare their inner assumptions with their spouse's reality, confess distortions, and pray for a truthful, honouring vision that strengthens partner...

This episode explores how past experiences and social stories cause us to 'gender profile' our spouse, letting fear and prejudice colour our view of their actions. Paul explains the difference between our reactive heart (Mr. Hyde) and our rational mind (Dr. Jekyll), and urges listeners to challenge their feelings, look for alternative explanations, and give their partner a large benefit of the dou...

Host Paul explains that we perceive our spouse in two ways: the mind (facts, behaviour) and the heart (feelings shaped by past hurts). When the heart is driven by old wounds, it creates a ‘Hyde’ version that magnifies faults and erodes grace. The episode offers a simple solution: work to get your heart to see what your mind already knows—address past influences and choose the Jekyll view of your p...

In this episode Paul explains how silence, pretending, and failing to ask for what you need damage sex and marriage. He covers why people fake orgasms, why foreplay and clear feedback matter for both partners, and how embarrassment or fear of rejection keeps couples stuck. Paul urges listeners to open the dialogue about desires and needs so sex can be better for both partners and the marriage can...

This episode explores what to do when a spouse refuses to forgive, exaggerates past wrongs, or uses them to manipulate and gain sympathy. It explains common patterns—blown-up accusations, assigned intentions, and repeated rehashing—and why these behaviors harm the relationship. Practical guidance includes apologizing and repenting when necessary, setting calm boundaries, refusing to be drawn into...

This episode explains how sidetracking and deflecting derail communication in marriage, with common examples like counter-questions, “you did it too,” and unrelated attacks. Learn simple, practical steps to redirect the conversation, assert your right to be heard, and lead by example so both partners can resolve issues respectfully.

In this episode of Doing Marriage Well (June 9, 2026), Paul explains how allowing manipulative tactics—anger, threats, the silent treatment, or emotional blackmail—to work damages marriages, using a personal story to illustrate the dynamics. He outlines clear responses: refuse to tolerate harmful tactics, set firm boundaries (walk away or get help), involve trusted third parties when threats or da...

This episode examines "broken behaviours"—patterns where one spouse tolerates mistreatment instead of setting limits. Using the image of a man calmly walking out when his wife attacks him, Paul explains that leaving is sometimes a healthy, loving choice that teaches boundaries. Listeners will learn why accepting bad treatment is not loving, how broken behaviours form, and one practical step to sto...