Divorce Dialogues

Divorce is difficult enough, but it’s particularly tough when you feel like you’re losing your kids. How can you maintain the connection with your children when your time with them is limited? How do you make memories whether or not you live in the same household? Tommy Maloney is the cofounder of Blending the Family, a platform dedicated to helping divorced parents navigate dating and remarriage....

52% of married people don’t consider themselves happy. Yet, we don’t reach out for support until something is really wrong. Why are we settling for happy enough? What if we sought couples counseling early on and learned how to build truly fulfilling relationships? Rachel and Kyle Wright are the founders of Wright Wellness Center, a relationship coaching practice designed to change how our culture...

In the midst of a challenging divorce, it may feel as if you’ll never be able to move on. But what if you could use the divorce process as fuel to stage an epic comeback, reclaim your power and design your own best life? Nikki Bruno is the founder and CEO of Catalyst Coaching. Her signature program, The Epic Comeback, helps women stage an epic comeback and build a joyful life in the aftermath of a...

If your child comes home complaining about your ex-spouse, it can be incredibly difficult not to react. You want to intervene, to defend your child. And your instinct is to address the issue with the other parent right away. But what if that puts your child in the middle—one of the very things you’ve been trying to avoid? How can you learn to take a step back and decide whether that problem really...

Getting back into the dating scene after a divorce can be challenging, especially if you never dreamed you’d be looking for love on an app. How do you write a compelling bio? How do you choose pictures that will lead to quality matches? What do you wear on a date, especially if your style hasn’t changed in years? Where can you go for help navigating the online dating process? Alyssa Dineen is the...

Divorce forces us to forge a new identity. Like it or not, life is different now, and we can either fight the change or accept and adapt to a new reality. Best case scenario, we use the crisis as an opportunity to change for the better, making decisions about what we value and focusing on our health and spiritual growth. We can leverage the divorce process to become fully ourselves—and fully ALIVE...

Divorce settlements are often compared with business deals. But the analogy falls apart when you consider that business deals give you the option to walk away. Perhaps a better parallel is that of a hostage negotiation, where you have no choice but to work with the other side. And in both cases, approaching the negotiation with respect—despite your very different point of view—is the most benefici...

Let’s face it: We are emotionally attached to our stuff. During major life transitions like divorce, downsizing, or dealing with a death in the family, that attachment is exacerbated by the emotional upheaval that accompanies change. How can a professional organizer help you learn to ‘treasure hunt’ rather than just keep things for the sake of keeping them? And how do you design a space to support...

In the midst of difficult life transitions like divorce, it is human nature to reach extreme, self-defeating conclusions: I’m incapable of love! All men are sociopaths! The world is unspeakably cruel! How can we take a closer look at what happened in our relationship and expand the narrative to something a little more nuanced, a little more balanced, a little closer to the truth? One strategy that...

Divorce is never easy on the kids involved, but the process can be particularly fraught for teenagers. How does divorce impact teens differently than younger children? What is the best way to customize a parenting plan for teens? And how can you support teens in adapting to a new, blended family? Barbara Rothberg, DSW, LCSW, has 35-plus years of experience helping clients resolve conflicts and nav...

Once you have made the difficult decision to divorce, a sense of urgency sets in. You want to get through the painful process as quickly as possible. Yet it is unwise to make snap decisions when you’re under that kind of emotional stress. How do you give yourself time to process what is going on? How do you define your non-negotiables and use them to reclaim a sense of control? And how do you find...

Most people dealing with divorce feel isolated and alone. It’s challenging to find people who really understand what you’re going through and attending events around the divorce process can prove embarrassing. So, where can you go to learn about your options, get recommendations for trusted professionals and connect with other people who truly empathize with your situation? Where can you find a sa...

Divorce is a difficult, painful process. But at the end of the day, people pursue divorce because they want to be happier and improve their lives. The experience CAN afford you the opportunity to look inward, rediscover yourself and architect a better future—if you approach divorce in a mindful, non-toxic way. Gabrielle Hartley is committed to helping couples divorce with dignity and ease. Gabriel...

A divorce is a divorce is a divorce. And yet, there is a different layer of complication when divorce involves high net worth individuals. Whether the wealth came from an inheritance or wages earned during the marriage, there is a strong emotional charge involved as the divorcing couple sorts out who is entitled to what. Michelle Smith is one of the most sought-after divorce financial specialists...

Over the last 40 years, marriage has evolved from an institution based on strict gender roles and specialization to a connection based on friendship and shared interests. Our expectations of marriage have shifted as well, the standards for intimacy rising along with the need to negotiate shared responsibilities. So, how can couples best navigate these new rules? And how does this transition impact...

Our cultural vision of divorce court is very different from reality. We fantasize about justice and imagine that the judge will take our side. But the truth of the matter is that most cases settle, and in those that do make it to trial, the judgement has little to do with who is morally right. So, if trial decisions are an urban myth, what does divorce really look like? Jacqueline Newman is a matr...

Divorce is a heart-wrenching process, but it is also an opportunity. Healing from the heartbreak affords you a new beginning, a chance to reconnect with who you are and what’s important to you. Sara Woodard is the architect of The HeartFull Journey, a platform designed to help you reconnect with yourself in the aftermath of divorce. Sara has compiled the tools and resources she created during her...

The heightened emotions that come with divorce often lead to impulsive action. The brain shuts down and couples jump into litigation without considering the consequences—or the alternatives. But the court system takes their power away and hands all of the decisions over to a judge, and at the end of the day, everybody loses. How can we reestablish communication between these couples, empowering th...

Holding on to bitterness and resentment is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die. It is so much easier to blame someone who has caused you pain than it is to own your part in it and develop compassion for the hurt they are feeling—particularly in the case of divorce. But if you have the courage to open yourself up to another person’s pain, it is possible to heal and grow in...

If you’re reading this, you are likely familiar with the first stage of the divorce process, the stage Liza Caldwell identifies as Something is Wrong. The problem with stage one is that you can get stuck there, lost in a vicious cycle with your own thoughts. How do you move forward? Where can you go for support in taking action? And what resources are available to help you reinvent yourself once t...

If you divorced someone with a high-conflict personality, you may be concerned about repeating the same cycle in your next partnership. What steps can you take to reflect on the dynamics of your relationships and develop radar for people with high-conflict personalities? An international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities, Bill Eddy is the co-founder and Training Dir...

If you are the targeted parent in a case of parental alienation, it is easy to default to defensiveness. But responding with righteous indignation is actually counterproductive, making you look anxious, agitated and afraid. So, how can you approach the situation in a constructive way that won’t further alienate your child—or the custody evaluator assigned to your case? Dr. Amy J. L. Baker is a nat...

How do you approach challenging situations? The coaching model popular in the business world takes a strengths-based approach, leveraging what employees are good at to tackle complex problems. What if we used a similar strategy as parents, leading with our strengths in difficult circumstances? What if we approached the divorce process the same way, tapping into our best attributes first as we work...

Divorce is a painful process that comes with some very strong emotions. Yet in order to avoid a toxic situation that puts your kids in the middle, divorcing couples must find safe spaces to express their anger and grief. Susan Bernardo found healing in writing workshops, art and dance classes, using creativity to work through the sadness, pick up the pieces and build something new. In fact, Susan’...

Is there a way to protect your child’s innocence during the divorce process? What strategies can you use to parent well in the midst of such a difficult time? The Intelligent Divorce offers couples an approach to separation and divorce that prevents damage to kids and teaches you how to create a bi-nuclear family built on kindness and respect. Dr. Mark Banschick is a child psychiatrist in private...